Bruised
by runforyourlife
Summary: A feeling both Lucas and Peyton cannot deny is what keeps them unseperable even with the 5 years age difference.
1. The World As We Knew It

**A/N: This is a story i've been writing for awhile though i am not finished, i have written about 20 chapters so far. so its long. It's a story with lots of lucas and peyton sex so if you don't like them as a couple what are u even doing here. anywho hope you enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill, but i do own all 3 season on DVD. :)**

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**Chapter 1- The World As We Knew It**

_Time is becoming, More precious than gold, All those times wasted alone_. _We won't get another chance this time_.

My eyes jolted open, a fever I couldn't stop over took my frozen body. A scream challenged to escape my lips but my senses achieved to stop it. Darkness was all that was seen in the room in which was usually completely blue and shining, but seeing my red alarm clock on the table beside my bed helped me realize I was safe in my bed. My arms held my chest close, my legs were shaking. My lips quivered. The horrible dream had awoken me from my deep and somewhat comfortable slumber. The darkness of the dream made me nervous and frightened as I went to scream for my dad, but as I began remember he was in New York for the weekend.

I tried to catch my breath as I forced myself to overlook the fact that this was the third time this week I had woken up from the same discomforting dream that brought back repressing reminders of the past. Once my throat was clear and air was finally making its way through, I caught my distraught breath. My head was aching as I tried to concentrate on the night before. I went to Brooke's party last night. I knew that for sure. But I was having trouble remembering anything that had happened. I pulled myself out of bed slowly trying not to disturb the quietness of the house. I pulled up the curtains as I peered out the window. The sun was barely rising and it was obvious that it wasn't morning yet. I looked down towards my driveway and saw ... a familiar car. I almost laughed when I remembered who was lying mostly likely in the room beside me.

My dad told me that he was going to New York for the weekend with my aunt and uncle, for a long needed vacation. Since Haley's parents were obviously gone for the weekend too, he offered her to stay with me. Which didn't sound like a bad idea, we were pretty much best friends, except we didn't go to the same school, which made it hard for us to see a lot of each other.

Thursday night, the night before my dad and Haley's parents were leaving, Haley and I hung out after school. we were planning a super big party for Saturday night. Haley had become quite the party girl, I was told. My dad wasn't due to get home from New York until late Sunday, before Haley was leaving for her ski trip, so that left us plenty of time to clean up from the party. We had it all planned out, it was going to perfect and memorable. Hopefully.

"Now remember to ask Nathan for the vodka." Haley continued to remind me, but I knew the only reason was that she wanted to make sure Nathan was going to come to the party. I winked at Haley as I stepped out of her room, I needed to go home and call some people for the party.

"I will." I laughed, turning around to wave good-bye to Haley, when I tripped and fell.

At first I thought I had tripped and fell over my own feet and felt like an idiot. But my prediction was wrong, I had been tripped by the tall figure above me.

"You okay?" he chuckled.

I instantly looked up when I heard his voice, "Lucas?" I suggested as he reached out and pulled me up.

"You're here."Haley squealed as she ran over towards him and hugged him.

He smiled, "I said I was coming, I'm here for good now." He assured.

I ended up staying at Haley's for another hour. Haley and Lucas told me how he was transferring from Arizona State to Tree Hill University and would be staying with Haley and her family until he found a place to live on his own. When they told me they smiled at each other, they had a special bond that I had never seen between cousins and Haley and I had a special bond also, so there was a lot of pressure for me and Lucas to like each other or to at least get along. There had never been any trouble.

As, we continued to talk and catch up, I watched as Lucas played with his thick blonde hair, it was a lot shorter now and it looked good. He was a tall guy, extremely tall. He had a ruggedly manly face, a strong chin, a flat noise but soft almost squinty eyes. His smile would make your heart stop when he flashed his white teeth. His hair blonde and perfect, looking good even in a mess. I couldn't keep my eyes off, his two awkwardly placed freckles on the left side of his arm. But the one thing the made him incredibly unique were his eyes. Their color. Some days they almost looked brown, others they looked green. But if you really looked you could clearly see they were blue. I couldn't believe the details I knew about him, I didn't even know them about myself.

As I stared into his deep eyes which were looking brown today, I began reminiscing.

We first met when he was 4 and I was just a baby but we never really remembered it, we had just heard stories about how cute we were together. He would hold me in his arms and I would cuddle into his shoulders. He would never let go of me until it was time to leave, telling his mommy there was something special about me.

We met again when I was 5 and he was 10, I can't remember much, except watching movies together. Our favorites like The Little Mermaid, The Lion King and of course Harriet the Spy. He didn't really like The Little Mermaid and would tease me during the movie. And I would annoy him during Lion King, not liking it too much myself. But I specifically remembered when we watched Harriet the Spy. We would stop our bickering and just watch the movie. Never talking as I would lean in his arms and he would hold me tight. But our parents would always come in and embarrass us saying how adorable we were and we would quickly move away.

We met again when I was 9 and he was 14.Haley had come over to swim in my new pool and he came to. It was a little awkward because we were a lot older. We played "Marco Polo", and I can still recollect the feeling I had when we swam around the pool. He was 'it' and he was getting closer and closer to me. All I could do was stay very still, he finally wrapped his arms around me and yelled "You're it," as he swam away, I stared after him. It was the first time I realized that I liked boys. It had always been that guys were gross, icky and mean, but he changed the way I thought of them. It always felt weird that I liked him, so I denied it.

The next time he came down he was 18 and I was 13. We were a lot more grown up; He was taller and filled out really nice, he grew into a man. Making my little crush worse. But I was no longer a little girl. I had hit puberty pretty early and didn't look very different from the way I do today. We went to Sea World, the water park and he was the only one who would go on the big rides with me. We had a blast that day, going on every ride at least twice, making fun of all the people in the park, getting ice cream and winning in the pie eating contest. He told me that I definitely had confidence and knew who I was, because not many girls would enter the pie-eating contest, let alone win. But, I was actually very insecure. I remember how awkward I felt wearing a bikini, but Lucas told me I looked cute and very mature for my age. Though I knew he was just being nice, it still felt good. We hung out the rest of the day talking and just having fun. We went back to my house as the parents teased us yet again. They would always tell stories of our cuddling and what we did when we were younger. I was embarrassed but he just laughed it off. He was a lot more mature and it was obvious he had grown up and became a great guy. He went a long with our parents jokes and cuddled into me as we talked with them.

The next and last time I saw him was last year. I was 15 and he was 20.Haley and her boyfriend were going to the movies and she invited me. When I got there Lucas was there too, I was shocked at first, because he looked a whole lot different. His hair was lighter and his body was definitely much more firmer and put together, and he towered over my 5'8 figure with his 6'2 body. Haley knew that we got along well and just left us as her and her boyfriend went their own way and we didn't see much of them later. We talked a bit before the movie and caught up, it felt so great to see him.

When we finally got to the movie I saw my old boyfriend Tim there with another girl. I freaked out and I guess Lucas figured it out. He grabbed my hand as we walked by them. As we passed I felt his hand grab my butt and I gasped. He whispered for me not to worry in my ear. When we made it to our seats, I saw Tim look in disbelief as Lucas leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. I almost freaked out but I held it in, it was only on the cheek, but it felt weird. We sat down and I giggled at the look Tim had given us. After the movie we said bye and went our separate ways and that was the last time I saw him until now.

I left Haley's house and went home that night and couldn't stop thinking about him.

Friday at school I got invited to a last minute party at my friend Brooke's house and I thought it would be fun, a lot of my friends were going to be there and Haley was busy working on Friday. She was supposed to meet me at my house at 11, so I thought I could go to the party till then. But from what I remembered that's not what happened.

I got super drunk at the party and Nathan ended up driving me home, he was Brooke's older brother and hadn't been drinking, he was close with Haley and I kind of thought they were maybe going out. I convinced him to come to our party tomorrow. I fell out the car, Nathan chuckling at me as I stumbled up my driveway to my door. When I finally opened the door, I waved bye to Nathan and tripped and fell, thinking it was Haley running up the stairs to greet me.

I yelled " Oh my god! You'll never guess who got in a fight at Brooke's party! It was crazy…. Oh and Nathan is soooo excited for our party tomorrow, you guys are totally gonna hook up!" I looked down at my soaked clothes and remembered what had happened

"Ew, and some guy totally puked on me." I squealed as I pulled off my top and pants, revealing my black bra and panties. I began to take off my bra, I wouldn't usually do this, but I really wasn't thinking. I was drunk.

I heard the footsteps come closer; I took my bra off and threw it to the side. I opened my mouth to say something but when I looked up, I saw it wasn't Haley. It was Lucas. Shit.

I attempted cover myself up, my hands slipping over my skin. I awkwardly smiled. He didn't smile back so I began to stand up, man did I look stupid lying on the ground with no clothes on.

With me wobbling to stand straight, he had to bend down so he was eye level with me.

"Are you okay?" He asked kind of laughing, as he raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I'm fine" I tried to act cool, while I continued to cover my body.

"You're kind of naked." He said in an obvious tone. "And drunk" he laughed, when he smelt my breath.

"I am not." I lied as I fell into him; he caught me with his strong arms. My breasts rubbing against his hard chest.

"Woah, there tiger." He said helping me stand up straight, pulling my body a little further away from him. "Let's get you to bed." He said as he helped my up the stairs. But half way up the stairs my stomach turned, I ran up the stairs and into the bathroom.

That's all I could remember. I wondered how I got in bed, with my pj's on, I questioned for a moment whether Lucas had taken advantage of me, but laughed to myself for a minute for even thinking that. I looked around my room, and the horror of the dream came back to me, I ran from the window quietly. Opened my door and went down the stairs. I decided to get a snack and maybe watch some TV to get my mind off things.

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I woke to the sound of the stairs creaking. I was a light sleeper and almost any noise could wake me. Then I heard the fridge downstairs open. I knew Peyton was up. It had only been a few hours since I had got to sleep. With waiting up for cleaning her up and putting her to bed, it was a long night. 

I had known her since forever. We met the first time when I was almost 5 and she was just a baby, I didn't remember much except holding her in my arms, at that age I was fascinated by babies and I never let her go. Saying she was a special baby. We met again when I was 10 and she was 5, the only memory that really stuck out was when we were watching our favorite movie Harriet the Spy and our parents would poke fun at us when we would cuddle. I was really embarrassed. We met again when I was 14 and she was 9. She had lost her mom the year before and I wasn't sure what to say to her. I just remembered her as the dorky girl that stared at me funny.

But when we met again, wow, she was different. She had grown up a lot and looked great, and considering I was 18 and she was 13, that was a difficult thing to admit to. We had a great time at the water park, and I always remembered her winning in the pie-eating contest, she was so cool. We listened to the same music and had so much in common. I got along with her so well and I couldn't believe she was only 13.

But it wasn't until my last trip up here that we really got close. It was last year and I was 20 and she was 15. We met at the movie and when I saw her I couldn't believe how good she looked. She had grown up good. She looked mature and confident, her hair was long and lighter and I noticed that she was wearing it curly again. But the one thing I noticed that I shouldn't have was that she had grown boobs, I couldn't help but notice the way they just completed her body making her look almost perfect. I tried my best not the stare that night, and it surprised me how much I was attracted to her, I mean I was 20 and in university. I could get almost any girl.

We talked before the movie. Once we got into the theater I noticed her looking at some guy awkwardly, I then understood. I thought it would be funny to make him jealous, he wasn't a big guy and would obvious be intimidated by me. I grabbed her hand as we walked by, and placed it on her ass as we passed. I didn't plan on it, but I kissed her on the cheek, it was just on the cheek.It was weird, not the gross way. The way that you like it, but you shouldn't. After the movie we left and that was the last time I saw her.

Until Thursday night, when I knocked her over, although it had only been a year, she looked different, better different. I had a great time talking to her and Haley, and catching up on what was new in their lives.

While she talked about her school year, I couldn't help but stare. She was a tall girl, well around 5'8. She has long blonde curly hair, that she usually wore down, but on occasions up in a pony tail. She had glasses, that I had never seen her wear before. They really suited her and made her look mysterious and smart. Her bangs would usually end up covering her eyes, and she would blow them away, with an odd look on her face. Her eyes were a grayish-blue color and would sometimes just pop out at you. Her lips were soft, red and the perfect size. But as I stared at her face, my eyes reverted to her body, which was pretty good looking too. I might add.

She later left. And I waited till we'd meet again.

When Haley called me on Friday and said she couldn't come home, because she had a later shift and would just crash at a friends, and asked if I would stay with Peyton, I immediately obliged. I thought we could hang out and watch a movie like old times. But when I got there she wasn't there, so I waited. I finally heard the door open at 12 and made my way up to greet her; we could still watch the movie, I hoped. I walked up the stairs expecting something I definitely didn't get. I found a drunken and half naked girl. She wasn't the girl from the day before. She was a lot more wobbly and well, a lot more naked. I helped her up as she giggled; she had never acted like that before, at least in front of me. I helped her up the stairs trying not to notice that her naked body was up against me. She pulled away and ran to the washroom. I laughed as I made my way up the stairs and into her room and towards the washroom.

I could remember clearly opening the bathroom door, where a naked Peyton's head was almost in the toilet. She saw me walk in and she looked away embarrassed.

"Hey, let me help you." I said trying to comfort her.

"No, I don't want you to see me like this." She cried as she covered her naked body up.

I smiled at her, as I removed my shirt. She looked at me confused. She gulped when she looked at my naked chest and I somehow felt a little bit more confident.

"Here put this on." I passed her the shirt.

"Thanks," she smiled as her eyes told me to look away, as she covered her half naked body with my shirt.

"So, you think you're going to be sick again?" I asked looking back at her. She didn't answer until I sat down beside her, I was willing to help.

"No, I think I'm done. I puked before, so I think that's all that's going to come out of me." She smiled extremely uncomfortably.. " But I do need a shower."

"Okay, well I'll just get your pjs and call me when you're done." I grinned as I got up and left.

I waited for about 15 minutes as she got her shower. Observing her room. It was amazing, it told me so much about her. Her pain, her love, her loneliness but mostly it showed me how talented she was.

I heard the shower turn off and waited for her to open the door. Another 10 minutes passed and I was confused why she was taking so long.

"Peyton?" I yelled, but I got no response. "Peyton?" I opened the door to see Peyton lying on the ground in a towel. I laughed to myself. I bent down and picked her up. I walked her to her bed, and placed her on it lightly. I found her wore out pajamas and put her in them, trying as much as I could not to look; she was already in an awkward position. I didn't think it was right. But boy, did I want to look. My hands stumbled a few times as they grazed her soft skin. When I finished putting her clothes on. I tucked her into bed.

"Night" I smiled at her as I made my way to bed.

I wasn't sure if she even remembered anything from last, so as I got up from my bed ready for her be to totally shocked when she saw me in her house. I pulled on a my blue shirt. And walked down the stairs, to where Peyton's face was hidden in the fridge. I watched her for a minute, as she bent down in her little boxer shorts, they seemed to be worn out and way to short to cover her whole butt, and her top was half hanging off as she leaned down. She was concentrating really hard on something and looked adorable with her hair in ringlets.

"Hey you."

_So close your eyes and paint the picture.The sunset staring back won't last forever.  
Just close your eyes_

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**okay soo im kinda new at this fan fiction site thing lol.. but i would really appreciate some reviews or anything! thanks dudes.**


	2. Getting Into You

**Okay so here is the next chapter. It's gets into more detail of lucas and peyton and there is some lp action. ;)**

** by the way it might get a little confusing but when I usually put a line across it means im changing point of view.**

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**Chapter 2- Getting Into You**

_Things I ask myself, I ask myself. Do you know what you are getting yourself into_?

"Hey you."

At that I jumped, my head hit the door, I squinted and I looked up and saw Lucas looking at me with a grin almost laughing. I noticed that he was wearing a blue t-shirt, that was tight against his bulging chest and plaid pajama pants. His hair was a mess but he still looked cute.

"What? Are you still drunk?" He laughed.

"No, you just startled me." I pouted, as I grabbed the milk and shut the fridge door, pulling down my shorts, they were a little short and I was feeling extremely self-conscious around him, which surprised me since he had already seen me half naked.

"Did I wake you?" I asked feeling bad, as I opened the cupboard to get two glasses.

"Kind of, but don't worry about it. I'm a light sleeper." He smiled as he walked towards the counter and leaned against it, his chest lurching towards my direction as he stretched. I felt my eyes rom his body but I quickly looked away.

"You want some milk?" I looked up at him, as his intense green eyes looked down at me. He had become a good-looking guy, tall, very tall dark and handsome. But he also had something different that I had never seen before in him. I felt a sudden urge come at me as I looked at him, but I had to remember he was 21 and Haley's cousin. He had experience with women and I had, well not very good experience. I bit my lip thinking of the pain. I looked back up at him; he was definitely in a totally different league than me. So I quickly shot that idea out of my mind.

"That would be great." He smiled his white teeth shining, as he shook his head trying to wake himself up.

I poured us both some milk, I passed him his glass and smiled as I jumped up and sat on the counter across from him, getting comfortable and drinking my milk quickly.

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"Well this is weird." she said without hesitating.

"Why?" I laughed at her as she gave me her funny look.

"Well...I came home last night wasted and naked I might add, it's just not the way I'd act normally around you." She blurted out..

I just smiled at her. Not sure what to say. Honestly, it was kind of weird.

"Sorry though. I didn't know you were going to be here and well yeah about acting stupid. I don't normally do that. It really sucks that you had to see me like that. I mean I don't want to leave that impression on you." She smiled awkwardly and her eyes looked at the ground. I tried as I could to listen to what she had said, but she was so gorgeous, even in her little shorts and a tank top. She was so innocent and beautiful. But she was only 16. I had to remember that.

"Don't even worry about it, do you think that's my first time taking care of a drunk." I laughed, trying to make light to the situation. She looked away awkwardly.

"Also I can't really remember much, after running to the bathroom. So I'm sorry if I said or did anything stupid." She whispered.

"No, you just passed out so I put you to bed after you had your shower. It wasn't a big deal." I answered quickly, my hands playing with the bottom of my shirt.

"Sorry." She bit her lip, looking embarrassed.

"Hey, don't worry about it, I didn't mind taking care of you." I walked towards where she was sitting; I stepped in between her legs and putting my hands on her cheeks trying to comfort her. She looked up at me with her deep hazel eyes and smiled, as I pulled my hands away but stayed between her legs.

"Thanks, for everything, taking care of me, putting me to bed and waiting up for me" She whispered because are faces were pretty close.

"But about getting me in my pjs?" she looked up at me with a peculiar look.

"Didn't look. Scout's honor." I swore as I placed my hand my chest.

We laughed for a minute, but when the laughing stopped, she smiled at me. "Thanks."

"It was my pleasure." I smiled sincerely.

She grinned back at me as she hesitated a moment before leaning in and hugging me.

"What's this for?" I asked, my mouth against her warm shoulder.

"I just miss my dad I guess, and well thank you so much for making me comfortable." She whimpered uncontrollably.

I pulled away. "Hey don't cry." I wiped away her tears with my fingers. She looked down and laughed, wiping away her tears as well.

"You must think I'm a baby." She whispered.

"No, not at all. I think you're great." I smirked my hands reached and touched her arms.

She smiled, and at that moment I had never seen anyone as beautiful as she was. Her hair was curly and wild, her eyes sparkling as tears fell. She bit her lip and my eyes quickly noticed how kissable and luscious they were. Her crying had stopped but her chest was still rising and falling as she tried to catch her breath.

I felt her hand unknowingly graze my stomach as she reached and pushed her hair away from her face. Her hand then fell and landed on my waist, she noticed and quickly took it off. I felt her breathe in deep and that's when my male instincts took over. I felt my body urge in her direction. I looked up, my eyes concentrating on her curvy body. I gazed up her toned legs to her tank top, it wasn't hard for me to notice that her nipples were peeking through. I quickly pushed that thought out of my mind and looked away, trying to think of anything else. Trying. Trying. Still trying.

But it all flew back to me, when she placed her little hands on my chest and smiled at me, seeing the odd appearance covering my face.

Our eyes connected and I couldn't control myself as a rush of desire came at me.

My hands moved quickly from my sides to her cheeks as I crashed my lips into hers. My chest quickly sliding towards her. I heard her gasp against my lips as her body froze and her lips didn't move. She wasn't expecting this at all. Overwhelmed with emotion I kissed her with lust, my lips devouring hers, eating her up, taking her in. Shocked by my actions she hesitated for a couple moments, but once my hands moved down her arms, she was soon kissing me back. Her lips now moving to the outside of mine, not letting me devour her totally. And before I knew it she had pulled me close. Her hands moved up into my hair that she played with, a grin on her face, while she pressed her tongue against my teeth forcefully. My eyes opened with shock at her actions, and my gaze landing on her. It then hit me what I was doing.

I couldn't go through with it. I pulled away from our kiss, intending to apologize for my actions. But before I could even say anything, she grabbed my shoulders violently digging her nails into my skin with a smirk and pulled me back in as she opened my mouth forcefully. Now I was the shocked one. It took me a moment to realize what was happening until I kissed her back and her tongue tangled with mine. The kiss was long, passionate and sensual and felt better than anything I could imagine.

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I wanted him so much at that moment. My hands ran through his silky blonde hair, as his hands ran down my arms. Our bodies moved closer. I pulled him by his blue shirt and wrapped my legs around his waist still balancing on the counter. His hands found my breasts as he roughly rubbed them through the thin material. I cringed, but ignored it as I licked the insides of his mouth, and he moaned. I thirsted for him as my body jolted with ecstasy when he removed his lips from our long kiss and began kissing my neck. I moaned and felt him smile into my neck. I pulled him closer to me, giggling and without thinking I began to pull down his pants. I kissed his neck while his hands continued to rub my breasts. I pushed his pants to his knees, my hands reaching for him. Wanting to feel his want for me. When I touched him I felt him jump as he continued to kiss my neck. My fingers stumbled and right then it hit me what we were doing.

I pulled away as he tried to pull me back in but I pushed him off me. He moved away and we both stood there for a moment trying to catch our breath. He quickly pulled up his pants and fixed his hair and shirt. I readjusted my shirt, which he had almost removed and wiped my lips.

We both looked at each other, awkwardly but both wanting to kiss again, as our eyes peered at the others swollen lips.

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Her innocent eyes starred at mine, I realized what I had done. I had taken advantage of her. She was emotional and I had taken advantage of that. I couldn't control my horny boy instincts when it came to her.

"I am so sorry, I didn't mean to take advantage of you like that, it just happened." I whispered sincerely as I placed my hands on her legs trying to comfort her, but realized that it only made it more awkward so I quickly moved away to the other side of the counter.

She looked up at me trying to smile, "It's not all your fault. I didn't stop you and I kissed you back. You tried to stop but I pulled you back. It's equally both our faults. Heck, I was the one who was taking your pants off." her eyes were blanking peering at the ceiling.

" I know, but also I didn't stop you. Peyton, you're sixteen years old and I'm 21. This is wrong. I'm to blame for this. I kissed you, I touched you and I didn't stop. You were the one who pulled away in the end," I snapped. "Hell, if you hadn't I don't know what I would have done, but I wasn't thinking of stopping." I yelled at her, but directing it to myself.

"I knew what I was doing, I wanted you too.I only stopped because I knew you had tried to before. I'm not some little innocent girl," she snapped back at me

"Yes, you are and that's what I like about you." I stated. I waited for her to yell back but instead she just smiled at me as she jumped down from the counter and put her glass in the sink.

"Let's just forget about it, okay." She smiled; she looked over at the TV. "Let's watch a movie or something." She offered.

I waited a minute before responding "Okay." I still felt awkward about my actions. But it wasn't because of the age difference or the fact that I kissed her when she was vulnerable, it was because I wanted nothing more than to kiss her again.

_I'm getting into you because you got to me, in a way words can't describe._

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**Lots more to come. please review.**


	3. A Lonely September

**wow. okay soo i wasn't expecting people to respond. but this only means im gonna update faster and well im gonna be happy. lol**

**thanks soo much. very appreciated**

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**Chapter 3- A Lonely September**

_Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did and I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did_.

I walked over towards the living room and to the small couch, well it seemed small for me. I tried to lie down on it, but my feet hung over the edge. I watched as Peyton giggled at me, turning on the television, and couldn't help but smile as she mumbled something about the television to herself. She looked back at me, knowing I was smiling at her.

"What type of movie you want to watch?" she asked with an quirky grin.

"Horror." I say in a deep tone, trying to make her laugh.

And she did. "Okay, here you choose. I'm going to go get some blankets. It's cold." She said as she walked up the stairs. I stared after her. Still wanting her so bad.

I choose the movie, just as she came down the stairs with the blankets. I had made myself comfortable, which meant taking up the whole couch and leaving no room for her. She placed the blankets on the ground beside us and looked for a place to sit.

"Here" I said moving my legs so she could sit down. "No its okay, " she smiled as she moved my legs back to where they were and sat in-between them with her small body. Making herself comfortable, as she leaned against my chest. Leaning against me like she used to. Though this time it felt so different. I could feel her soft skin against mine as she covered us with the blanket, waiting anxiously for me to start the movie. I felt my body urge for hers. She moved her arm to get more comfortable and it grazed my thigh, making me instantly become hard. Embarrassed as hell, I quickly moved off the couch onto the ground.

"What's wrong?" she asked innocently, she had no idea the affect her and her body had on me.

"I'm going to sit here." I said firmly. I knew she understood why. I saw her look away.

"At least sit on this," She said as she moved the couch to get the mattress behind it. "It's more comfortable than the ground."

I agreed, and we both got comfortable as I started the movie. Trying as hard as I could to concentrate on the movie and not her.

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I pretended to watch the movie as I watched Lucas, I could still taste him on my lips. I glanced away as I felt him notice my stair, but once I knew he wasn't looking, I looked back over at him. I wanted him so bad. I looked up and down his body, his shirt was lifted a bit and his skin was peeking threw, a soft bit of hair was showing, begging me to touch it.

I glanced up at his pouting lips. His kiss was nothing I had ever felt before.

I looked away and then looked down at myself, I had a feeling that I was just another girl to him, just a girl he would sleep with. Actually I wasn't even that, I was 16, and he didn't want a girl like me.

I decided to watch the movie and forget about my thoughts and desires.

I eventually was able to concentrate on the movie and I started to get really into the whole horror of the movie and I had hardly noticed when I jumped down beside Lucas when a scary part came on. I hid my face in his chest. I heard him laugh, as he wrapped an arm around me.

"Is the bad part over?" I whispered terrified of the movie, my heart beating faster and faster.

"Yeah." He laughed. I looked up and smiled at him and continued to watch the movie.

We both hardly noticed when we started to cuddle, the movie made us forget about our little incident in the kitchen. Our minds were too busy concentrating on the movie that our bodies were in control, as my hand rubbed his chest softly and he breathed in my hair.

Lucas was lying down on the small mattress as I laid down beside him, half on top of him, feeling his heartbeat. Another scary part of the movie appeared and I shoved my face in his chest. As I breathed against his chest, I started forgetting about the movie and started thinking how great it felt in his arms. I rubbed my face in his chest softly and felt his body jump, I loved the affect I had on him. I looked up at him and he awkwardly smiled and then looked away again. My hands rubbed his chest and he looked back at me, looking at me the way he looked before he kissed me in the kitchen. But this time he didn't kiss me. He took a deep breath and looked away, his body pulling at little bit away from me.

That's when my body took control of my brain. I sat up and leaned towards the TV and turned it off.

"What are you doing?" Lucas muttered.

Without thinking I pushed him down on the mattress crawling towards him and sitting on top of him as he continued to look confused. I rubbed my hands up his thighs. When he finally realized what I was doing a small moan came from his mouth as his eyes shuttered. I rubbed my hips into his and could feel him get hard under me. It surprised me at first and a weird noise came from my mouth when he pressed up against my sensitive spots. I could tell he liked my reaction as I felt him get harder, making me moan and slightly throw my head back. He looked up at me, with emotions shooting from his eyes as he tried to keep them open.

* * *

It felt amazing with her on top of me, though I knew it was wrong, but so right at the same time. I wanted her and she knew that I did as I hardened under her. She looked down at me, with a look I had yet to see. She wasn't that innocent and vulnerable girl in the kitchen. She was confident and knew what she wanted. She wanted me. And boy did I want her.

She smiled softly as she hesitantly leaned down, my hands pulled her the rest of the way and she kissed me. Quickly the kiss escalated as my hands slide down her smooth legs. But before I could continue, she pulled away. Leaving me wanting more. She sat straight up and looked at me, as I breathed loudly. And she removed her top. I gasped, at her actions, at her.

I awkwardly started to move away, "Peyton, I don't think we should be…" She interrupted me, when she fell on top of me, her hard nipples rubbing against my chest. "Oh my God" I groaned as I finished my sentence, not what I intended to say at first, but certain actions had changed my mind. She then began licking and nibbling on the side of my neck, as she ran her hands through my messy hair. My mouth widened, she was making it harder and harder for me to stop. I kept reminding myself that it was wrong. But the more I thought about it, the more it felt so right. I was able to forget about all my doubts when I looked at her, her eyes were closed as she felt me enjoy the feeling of her touch. She was unbelievable.

I smiled as I pulled her face to mine and kissed her, my tongue instantly in her mouth. Her hands, moving across my chest, as mine rubbed her soft breasts. When I touched her it wasn't like in the kitchen, when I grabbed her aggressively, I softly caressed her breasts and I could tell she liked this feeling better. I continued to rub her and I felt her jump at certain movements, I felt her nipples get harder and I glanced down to look. But when I looked down I noticed a few scars, but quickly forgot them, as she kissed me hard. She impatiently tried to remove my t-shirt, as I felt her nails scrap my stomach. But she couldn't, she was about half my size and didn't have much strength to take control. And I was too busy touching and nibbling on her to notice.

She removed her lips from mine, "I'm feeling a little naked here." She whined as she again tried to remove my shirt, I pulled my hands off hers for only a minute, and sat up a little, so she could remove my top. She slowly pulled it off, only making my body urge to touch her again. Her eyes were dark with desire as she stopped half way and leaned down and kissed my chest, my eyes closed enjoying the sensation. As soon as she had finished taking off my shirt, I flipped her over so I was on top.

She giggled, as I smiled. We stopped for a moment and just smiled at each other, we both knew this wasn't just some hook up. It meant more, so much more.

I leaned down slowly positioning my body on hers taking in her scent and the feel of her chest against mine. I nibbled gently up and down her neck. She pressed upwards with her body and wrapped her arms around my neck enjoying every moment of it, as she made little noises with her open mouth. She grabbed my face and kissed me, her teeth biting my bottom lip, as I enjoyed the almost painful but incredible feeling. We made out for a while, our lips and hands never leaving the other's body. We stopped and breathed for a minute when are lips were sore, and turning almost blue. Once I caught my breath, which was long before she had caught hers, I began to kiss her stomach.

"Lucasss.." she giggled, enjoying the feeling for a moment. But it didn't take long until I felt her legs rubbing down mine; it took me a moment to realize that she was trying to remove my pants. I stopped. I pulled away, sitting up, I laughed.

"Man, you are really impatient!"

"What can I say? I like to get to the point!" she smirked, winking at me. "Now take those off." She grinned pointing to my pants.

"Yes, Mme." I said with a straight face, standing up and beginning to pull them down.

"Wait!" she yelled, I stopped instantly as she stood up. She gently placed her hands on the top of the elastic waist band. "Let me." She whispered seductively in my ear. I felt my body warm from her words. I smiled as she began to slowly take them off.

When the pants dropped I felt her eyes on me. I was usually confident. I had been with a lot of girls. But at this moment I felt a little self-conscious. She must have felt me hesitate, because she gave me a comforting smile.

Just then she did something that shocked me. She quickly removed her shorts and stood confidently in front of me. I smiled as I leaned in and kissed her, her arms wrapping around my neck, pulling me close as she jumped up and wrapped her legs around my waist. She pulled her lips away from mine, as I continued to hold her around me, "Do you have any condoms?" She asked awkwardly as we fell to the mattress once again. Her on top of me.

"I dunno, are you on the pill?" I asked without thinking as I leaned in to kiss her but she stopped me with an obvious look. Then I realized it. She was a virgin. Shit.

She knew I figured it out, as I slowly moved her off of me and stood up. I saw tears form in her eyes. I looked around the room. What was I doing, not only was this wrong in the first place, but now I was going to be her first time.

"This doesn't change anything, does it?" she stuttered, her eyes not looking at me but at her hand that was tracing circles on the mattress.

"Of course it does. I can't… I just won't do this," I snapped as I turned and walked away from her, it wasn't her fault it was mine. I couldn't do this to her. I knew that no matter what happened this would never work and she would get hurt and no matter what I said, this would still happen. I couldn't hurt her like this. As I walked away, I hardly noticed her stand up until, I felt her grab my arm and pull me back; she leaned in and kissed me. Her soft lips torturing me. I wanted so bad just to give in and be with her, but I couldn't. I felt horrible when I pushed her lips away.

"Please don't do this." She cried, knowing there was nothing she could say or do to change my mind.

I hated hearing her cry, but I knew that I couldn't go through with this. It was wrong, in so many ways.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do this." I whispered as I brushed her arm off mine, grabbed my clothes and went upstairs. I quickly looked back to see her lying on the mattress crying.

I knew it hurt her, but I wasn't going to be that guy, the guy who just slept with the girl and left. I had been that guy for other girls. But I wasn't going to be this time. As I stared at her, I felt how much she meant to me, she didn't deserve this. Her first time deserved to be special and unforgettable. She deserved better than me. And I knew the only way to prove that was to leave. As I walked up the stairs to my room, I shut the door and began putting my clothes on, I stared in the mirror at the person I was. I laid down on the bed ashamed. I knew I could never face her again.

_Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did and I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did. And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did and you didn't mean to love me back, but I know you did_.

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**sooo much more to come!!! read and review.**


	4. Serval Ways To Die Trying

**thanks again for the support.. mmk soo its halloween today and im loving it :)**

**hope you feel the same about this chapter..lol.. im cheesy.**

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**Chapter 4-Several Ways To Die Trying**

_Oh how we've shouted, how we've screamed,  
take notice, take interest, take me with you._

I heard her come up over the stairs, stomping almost and some part of me wanted nothing more than to run out and kiss her and make everything better. But I knew it would only make it better for a moment, and that moment wouldn't last. I listened as she slammed her door and I wasn't surprised. I had been a complete asshole downstairs.

I managed to doze off for a few hours, but was awoken by the sound of the door opening and Haley yelling "Hey, anyone home."

I assumed Peyton would go greet her, but she didn't so I got up and walked down the stairs.

I turned the corner to where Haley was watching TV. "Well you look like crap." She laughed, I glared back at her.

"Thanks." I smirked. "I was up late waiting for Peyton. She came back a little drunk." I was able to say just fine without her getting suspicious.

Haley laughed, rolling her eyes, "She knew we were having a party tonight. Which by the way you're staying, my parents left early for the cottage and we are going to drive down tomorrow. Oh and can you pick up some beer for the party?" Haley convinced me with her smile as she handed me money.

"Sure" I tried to smile. I knew that this meant more time with Peyton and I wasn't sure if I could do that. But at least now I could try to make things right. I hoped.

"Well, I'm going to go take a shower." I smiled as I walked out of the living and up over the stairs. As I made my way up the stairs, I noticed that Peyton's door was still shut so I assumed she was sleeping.

I grabbed a towel out of the closet. I went into my room and slowly began taking off my clothes. With many thought thinking back to this morning, I finally wrapped the towel around my naked waist and made my way to the bathroom. I opened the door, taking off my towel, to see a totally naked Peyton getting into the shower. She squealed as I pulled on my towel,"Oh my god, I'm sorry." I was able to only stutter.

She saw me shut my eyes, "What you can't even look at me now? You better leave, naked virgin in the bathroom" she finished with a sarcastic tone.

I wasn't going to even bother to fight with her, because I knew she was already mad at me and she had the right to be. I just turned around and left, I heard her lock the door behind me. I went into her parent's bathroom and I showered. As the cold water fell against my flustered body all I could think of was the mess I had made. If I only just kept my feelings inside this would have never happened. Everything would be fine and normal But now I have a sixteen-year-old girl, who I care about, hating me. But I knew if I tried to fix it, I would probably make it worse. So my plan for the party was to just hang in the corner and wait until tomorrow. I only had to wait 24 hours. I could probably avoid Peyton for a month when we got back and by then I would be moving into my own apartment. But doing this was obviously going to be a lot harder than I thought.

When I had got out of the shower, I heard Peyton and Haley talking down stairs. I walked into my room, got dressed and left.

* * *

I watched as Lucas walked out the door, I wasn't sure if he was coming to the party. I doubted it, but I was hoping that it wasn't going to be the last time I saw him. We needed to make things right, if not for our sakes then Haley's.

"He's just going out to pick up some beer for the party."Haley said noticing my gaze in Lucas's direction.

"Cool." I smiled trying to seem like I could care less. But inside I was screaming.

The rest of the day went by surprisingly pretty fast, Haley and I just hung out and talked and before we knew it the party had started.

Lucas hadn't come back yet and Peyton was getting anxious. But we already had some alcohol so we started with that. All of our friends came and I had lost Haley to Nathan quickly. I found some alcohol and just began drinking, anything felt better than I did now. Before long I was drunk and acting stupid, but I wanted more. I stumbled to my room past people I didn't even know, that's where I drank a full 26er of vodka, and a couple more beers. When I finally couldn't feel anything anymore I made my way back down the stairs.

I wobbled down the hall; as the people all blurred together. As I walked further down the hall I tripped and was caught by two arms. I looked up and saw Jake. He was my old boyfriend, we had a lot of history and almost everyone in school knew about it, I saw people looking in our direction as his hands stayed on my waist. And maybe it was just the alcohol but he looked fine as hell, he helped me stand up straight. I leaned against the wall, as his body pressed against mine. The hallway wasn't that big and other people were still trying to get through. I felt my breath jolt as he placed his hands lower on my hips.

"Hey, babe" he smirked, his eyes glistening with fire.

"Hey." I whispered seductively as I bit my lip, I wasn't sure what to think about this situation.

Before I could even assess the situation, Jake aggressively leaned in and kissed my lips. I couldn't think straight and it felt good kissing him again, it felt familiar. I knew that he wanted me, and from this morning's situation, I really wanted to feel that want. I pulled away, as my head spun; I couldn't see anything around me but him. I grabbed the collar of his shirt as I pulled him towards the coach, wobbling on the way there, as he smirked at me. I went into a small room in my house, it wasn't a bedroom but it also wasn't in front of everyone. There were a few people passing through. I let go of his arm, plopping down on the coach, waiting for him. His eyes widened when I began to lean forward and unbutton his pants. He looked surprised by how forward I was being and I was surprised too, I was never the forward one when we were going out, but at that moment I just wanted to feel, even if it didn't mean anything.

He quickly straddled on top of me, pressing hard against me as his lips grabbed mine. Our tongues were all over each other and we were kissing fiercely and out of control. I felt his hand rubbing up my thigh and I bit his lip gently. He kissed my neck, while I closed my eyes. But the moment was soon ruined when the thought of Lucas came to my mind. I didn't want to be here I wanted to be with Lucas. I quickly reminded myself that he didn't want me, but I still couldn't stop thinking about him.

Jake's hands moved under my skirt and I felt his fingers enter me, I couldn't believe what was happening and a certain part of me knew I should have stopped. But I let him, I let feel me and take advantage of me. The weird part was that it didn't feel good anymore; I didn't feel the way I wanted it to. It was torture.

* * *

The music could be heard from down the street, and cars were parked everywhere, I made my way towards her house. I slammed the door open, and walked down the hall with the beer in my hand. I wasn't quite sure what to expect when I got there. I spent the day with myself and didn't want to come back, but I knew I had to. As I turned the corner into the living room dodging drunken teens, I saw Haley with the guy I was guessing was Nathan, they were full on making out and it was grossing me out. I tapped Haley on the shoulder.

"Hey where do you want me to put this?"

"Oh, hey mmm.. Put it in there." She pointed to a room, where people were coming in and out of, as she leaned back into her guy and they continued to swap spit.

I walked in the room and placed the beer on the table, and grabbed one and began to drink it. I looked around at the different people in the room, but my eyes jolted wide open when I looked towards the coach, to where others were awkwardly staring and whispering about. I saw some dirt guy straddling an obviously wasted Peyton on the couch. They were making out like animals, their tongues traveling in and out of each other's mouth. His hands were under her skirt, as his fingers did god knows what with her, and it was obvious that he was enjoying it more than her as she squinted her eyes. He pulled off her skirt in one quick motion leaving her in a tiny thong, showing me that his fingers were inside her. I felt myself quench. I waited for her to pull away but she didn't stop him, people were around some starring in disgust and others laughing.

As I watched Peyton I could see that she hadn't even hardly noticed, her eyes were almost rolled back in her head and they were red. I had never seen her in that state before. She just looked like his own personal doll as his hands touched every part of her body. I saw him begin to remove her top, his hands violently grasping her breasts, his nails digging into her, as he hurt her. Her body jolted, and I could see pain in her eyes. At that moment something inside me snapped.

I dropped the beer and stomped towards the coach.

* * *

As I continued to kiss Jake, I couldn't feel anything anymore my body was numb. He was touching me and using me, and I knew people were watching, but I didn't stop him. I just let it happen. I let him take off my top and feel me up, his hands were now in places I didn't want them and he was beginning to hurt me like he used to. But I didn't stop him. My eyes closed and I felt my mind go blank.

I passed out.

* * *

As I stomped towards the coach, a rage of anger and jealously flowed through my body, I grabbed the guy by his hair, as he yelled. I pulled him off a now passed out Peyton.

"What the fuck?" the guy yelled.

"What the hell are you doing to her?" I screamed as I let go of his hair throwing him towards the wall. People were now running into the room, to see what was going on, their eyes going from me to him to her.

"What the hell does it look like?" he smirked, as he looked over at her with grin at what he had done. She was now totally naked lying there unconscious with bruises forming quickly onto her body. I felt my heart break at the sight of her, my eyes filled with rage as I looked at the guy, who had done this to her. I didn't even respond to his disgusting comment. I faced him and punched him hard in the face, knocking him out, as people gasped.

I then ran towards Peyton, lifting her into my arms, and away from these people. As I carried her I felt her body quiver, and tears formed in my eyes, what happened to the real Peyton I knew. I held her body close to me. I would always protect her.

She slowly awoke, as I carried her into my room and placed her on my bed, she smiled as she whispered my name, in her eyes all I saw was pain. I kissed her on her lips softly and she moaned softly. She then began to fall back asleep.

"I love you my girl." I whispered, at that moment my heart was given to her. I loved her.

_Tonight, they're burning the roads they built to lead us to the light.  
And blinding our hearts with their shining lies,  
while closing our caskets cold and tight. But I'm dying to live_.

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**REVIEW!!!**


	5. Playing For Keeps

**New Chapter. keep reviewing and ill keep updating.**

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**Chapter 5-Playing For Keeps**

_So are we playing for keeps.  
These days begin and they don't end for weeks._

The next thing I knew I was waking up. I felt surprisingly a whole lot better, considering the amount I had to drink the night before. I quickly remember the events that had occured, as I looked under the covers to see that I was still naked and noticed the bruises on my breasts. Tears filled my eyes, as I remembered the look on Lucas's face, when he put me to bed, he looked broken, his eyes were dark and filled with mixed emotions.

I was surprised that I had remembered everything from the night before, and in a way I kind of wished I'd forgotten. I looked around and realized that I wasn't in my room. I was the spare room; the one Lucas was staying in. But Lucas wasn't there. I looked on the floor and saw a shirt and boxers; I pulled them on slowly as I took in the scent of him. The warm and comforting scent. The space beside where I had sleep hadn't been touched and it looked like Lucas hadn't slept. I opened the door and saw that it was dark outside and the party was obviously over. I decided to go downstairs maybe see if Haley was up.

I turned the corner to the living room, where I saw Lucas watching TV. I watched him closely for a minute, not sure what to say, but also just to watch him. I smiled as he laughed at the television, his perfect smile filling the room. It felt good to see him smile.

"Hey" I said quietly as he looked my way. We smiled at each other, and without even words we both knew what the other was thinking.

I walked towards him, a little nervously.

* * *

"How are you feeling?" I asked as I watched her body sway awkwardly in my direction, she was wearing my clothes, and they looked better on her then they did on me, though through my white shirt I could almost see her bruises, and I felt my heat ache yet again. I looked away not wanting to see them. 

"Better" she smiled.

I made room for her on the coach, but she didn't sit down. Instead she leant down and hugged me. I hugged her back. Her face was in my shoulder as I felt her cry, my arms holding her from falling.

"I'm sorry," I whispered in her ear.

"Me too," she whispered back.

She pulled out of the hug and sat down on the coach. " I just want you to know, that I'm okay with it," her words confused me, I went to say something but she stopped me. "I know that you don't want to be the guy that sleeps with a 16 year old virgin especial one that's done some pretty stupid things lately and let's guys treat her like crap. And it was stupid for me to even ask you to sleep with me, I mean it just happened, we were caught up in the moment and we just kissed and it escalated. I think it was stupid for me to be mad at you. I understand why you did it, you don't want to be with me and I can deal with that. But thank you, for last night. I… I just… it was horrible," she cried as she covered her chest, feeling her bruises, "But you, you saved me." She said as her fingers fidgeted on her lap. Before even thinking my mouth just began to speak.

"I think I'm falling for you." Her eyes widened.

"What?" she whispered as she wiped away her tears.

"The only reason I stopped things was because I was scared. I have these feelings that I shouldn't have. I didn't want to be that guy, that didn't respect you. I wanted your first time to be special. I left because I think you deserve better than me." I bit my lip as I spilled my feelings. She didn't move, her eyes left mine and stared at the ground. We sat there for a moment both taking in everything that was just said.

"I think I'm falling for you too." She whispered with her face looking at the ground.

I leaned in and with my hands lifted her face, making sure I hadn't just imagined it. But when she looked up at me, I knew it was true.

We smiled slowly as I leaned in and kissed her softly, our lips caressing the others, caring for the others, healing the others. Loving the others. It was a kiss I will never forget. It wasn't wild and passion. It was soft and loving. But to both of us it meant so much. It was perfect.

I stood up and lifted her in my arms as she giggled; I carried her over my back up the stairs quietly not wanting to wake Haley and into my room.

I gently placed her on the bed, as I lied beside her. We starred at each other, just smiling for a minute. Before she leaned in and kissed me hard, with love, lust and want. I kissed her back with the same force. She began to move her hands into mine, she grabbed my hands and moved them over her body. I loved the way she took control. She rubbed my hands over her waist and stomach and moved to her breasts. I quickly pulled away.

She looked at me understanding my hesitation.

"I don't want to hurt you, like _he_ did." I cringed as I felt the pain of the night before come back.

"You won't. I promise." She assured me with a brilliant smile, but I still wasn't sure.

She saw I was still hesitating; she smiled at me, as she slowly removed my shirt from her skin, as I watched her. She placed my shirt on her side, as she slowly took my hands. I look at her little body. It was bruised. It hurt me to see her like this; she didn't deserve this pain, those memories.

We smiled, before I talked, " Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"When you were dating Jake, what happened?" I said quietly, uncomfortable with what I was asking.

"How did you…"?

"Haley told me a little about him." I interrupted her.

* * *

"Oh." I looked down and then answered, "Well, we started dating because we met in school and well yeah. We had been dating for a few months and hadn't really done anything, I guess." 

Lucas looked at me confused.

"Sexually."

"Oh!" Lucas mumbled waiting for me to continue. I could tell he didn't really want to hear this, but he did what to help.

"Well, one night we went a little further and I noticed him being a little aggressive, and I later noticed marks that he had left on me. But I ignored it, when we would do stuff." I tried to leave out as many details as I could.

Lucas looked down at his feet not sure what to say.

"Well, one night at a party, I was really drunk. I still have trouble remembering some parts of the night. But some of it still keeps me awake at night."

Lucas looked up at me with vulnerabiltiy.

I wasn't sure exactly how to put it softly enough for him not to freak out.

"Let's just say, we broke up when a group of my friends walked in and had to stop him from…" I stopped as I felt tears form in my eyes, but continued, "from raping me."

I cried louder as I said "I still have scars from that night."

* * *

I felt anger and pain for her. I didn't understand how someone could hurt her like this, how someone could make her feel this pain. 

She looked down and I saw the pain and confusion in her eyes. I placed my hands on her face and titled her face up to me. Where I pushed my face softly against hers.

"I will never let you feel this pain again, I promise you this." I kissed her softly as she smiled .

I looked down at her scars and placed my hands on her breasts gently as I gave them the caring they deserved. I felt her breathing quicken, when I leaned down and kissed her bruises softly. I wished I could take away those horrible memories. I kissed and licked them softly for a moment. She moaned my name, as her body pushed up, I could tell she was getting turned on.

I pulled away, and she looked disappointed, but yet happy.

"Let's get some sleep." I smiled as I reached for my shirt and she let me put it back on her. I gave her one last kiss, before I pulled her close. We fell asleep in each other's arms.

* * *

I slowly awoke from my sleep as the sun shined in my eyes. I felt a warm hand around my waist and a smiled formed quickly on my face. I turned quickly over, shoving into Lucas and awaking him as I did. It was my intention to wake him up. 

"Oops, I'm sorry." I smiled devilishly. He rolled his eyes, with a radiant smile, as he yawned.

He wrapped his arms around me and began to tickle my sides, I flipped out laughing, and I rolled on top of him and tried to stop him from tickling. When he had finally stopped, we were both out of breath and in a compromising postion.I gazed into his alluring blue eyes as I pushed my face into his and kissed him, smashing my lips into his. I licked the insides of his mouth and felt him moan. I pulled away and watched an astounded Lucas try to catch his breath.

"Well, Good Morning to you." He smirked.

I rolled down back onto the bed, turning and facing him. I lifted myself up so I was facing him directly. He knew something was up.

I held my breath before I blurted, "I want to have sex with you," my eyes never leaving his eyes.It came out a little more pathetic than I thought it would. I saw an unknown look form in his eyes; he smiled for a minute but then went to a serious face.

"Are you sure?" he questioned.

"Yes." I stated, "but if you don't want to then…" I started but he cut me off.

"Oh trust me I do," he beamed, I smiled at him, "but I just want you to be sure, this is a big deal." He continued.

"I'm positive. Trust me, I want to be with you." I said in a suave tone that made him smile widely. He sunk his lips into mine as we nibbled and licked each other's lips. I felt his hands slide up my shirt and I sighed into his lips. I pulled away I couldn't take any of this as I already felt myself become wet.

I sat up and seductively pulled him up with me, I leaned in to kiss him and saw his lips reach for mine, but instead my lips touched his ear, I licked and nibbled on it as I whispered sensuously, " Stand up and take your clothes off for me," I saw him smile and I could tell he liked the way I was acting. He stood up quickly and began to rip his clothes off, I laughed at his eagerness. He threw all his clothes to the side and looked at me with a tempting smile. My eyes surveyed his body and everything about him made me horny, his tall physique, his firm stomach, his budging arms and his perfectly proportioned penis. His face was soft and welcoming as he bit his lip and his messy hair stood off.

I stood up and slide towards his intoxicating body, as his eyes looked me up and down. When I was standing right in front of him, we both just stared at each other with want and need. I reached my hand towards his face, where I pushed his hair to the back as I leaned in and kissed his lips, then his neck and then his chest. I slowly made my way down his body as his head fell back and his hands held onto my shoulders. When I reached my destination, a smile came upon my face as he looked at me anxiously. I then placed my mouth around him and licked and sucked on him. He groaned heavily as I continued. He placed his hand on my head telling me what to do. I felt him become harder and harder. As I continued I felt his hand pull me away.

"You better stop now," he warned, he knew he wouldn't last any longer. I stopped.

"Wow, for a virgin you sure know what your doing." He laughed. I rolled my eyes at him. He sat down on the bed looking at me as I stood up. "Now I want you to take all of your clothes off." He smirked with dominative tone. " And slowly," he finished, his hands playing with the skin on my thigh.

* * *

I smiled as she listened to what I said. She slowly began to pull of her top as her body peeked through revealing her aroused nipples and her perfectly portioned breasts, I cringed at her bruises but quickly looked away to her small and firm stomach as her face glowed. She looked at my reaction and smiled when she saw me begin to touch myself, not being able to control myself. She then pulled her curly hair out of her ponytail and it fell to her shoulders as she enchanted me with her presence. She grinned as she slowly pulled down her pants revealing her sexy hips. I smiled as she stopped and looked at me, with an awkward smile. I leaned towards her grabbing her waist and pulling her on top of me. She giggled and groaned as my hard erection rubbed against her thigh. I sat on top of her and kissed her wet lips and then her neck and then her stomach. I made my way to the spot I wanted to please and I pushed my mouth against her feeling her body jump. I knew it was the first time anyone had done this to her. I rubbed her with my hands as my tongue licked her. She instantly became wet, and I licked it all away. I felt her hand grab my hair and push my face closer and I smiled, it felt good and I could tell she loved it. She panted as I continued, I could feel her getting closer and closer and I finally pulled away. I looked up and saw her disappointed face as she panted.

I leaned over her reaching for my jacket, which was hanging from the wall and grabbed a condom. I then sat back on top of her as she still continued to catch her breath. I began to open the package and saw her become nervous, I immediately stopped.

"Are you sure you want do this?" I asked. I saw her smile, and shake off her nervousness.

"Yes." She stated as she grabbed the package from my hand and opened it, I went to take it from her to put it on, but instead I felt her small hand form around me as she pulled it on. We both smiled. I kissed her with love and want, as our tongues tangled. I positioned my body over hers so that she could have the best pleasure. I pulled my lips off hers,

"Now this is going to hurt a little." I whispered making sure she was clear of what to feel.

"Okay." She whispered, waiting anxiously.

"Ready?"

"Ready." She whispered taking one last breath.

I entered her slowly. I felt her gasp with pain as tears slipped down her faces. I wiped them away as I smiled at her. I waited for her to get used to the feeling and when a smile formed on her face we began to move. She wrapped her arms around my waist pushing closer. Our bodies moved together as she placed her head on my shoulder. I felt her breathing hard against it, as her fingers nails scrapped my back. I felt all the pleasure move around my body as I pushed her closer to me, kissing her shoulder and her cheek.

It was a pleasure I had never felt, it wasn't just sex, it was love. As we continued to make love I could fell myself coming closer. And even closer when I heard her scream my name with a steamy voice.

"I'm so close." I whispered in her ear.

"Mmm… me too." She said with an erotic tone.

We continued to move as her legs wrapped further around my waist and I entered her further.

I manly groaned her name as I felt myself explode, as she did only seconds later. I pulled myself out of her as we tried to catch our breath. I got up and threw the condom in the garbage as I walked back to the bed I looked down at Peyton who still had her eyes closed as her chest rose and fell. I lied back down wrapping my arms around her chest and pulling her close to me.

"Wow," She glowed, " I mean wow, that was incredible. Like I thought it was going to be good, but that, that was….. Wow!" she exclaimed as she kissed my shoulder, tasting the salty sweat.

I laughed, "I know what you mean, that was crazy. I've never felt anything that good before." We both smiled as our bodies glowed. I felt her hand rub the inside of my thigh as mine gazed her breasts softly.

"So wanna do it again?" She winked sensuously after only a minute or two.

"Hell yeah." I yelled as I reached for another condom. When we finally got it on, after stumbling a few times with anxiousness, I felt Peyton roughly push me into the bed. She nibbled on my ear as she straddled me. She slowly pushed herself on top of me, I watched the enjoyment come over her face. I pulled her face towards mine and kissed her hard and we began again. I rubbed my hands up and down her thighs as our eyes concentrated on each other. I moved my hands to her breasts as I rubbed them softly and she moaned heavily. We continued to move together, as her head fell back and I kissed her stomach.

"Hey Luke, do you….." A voice said as the door opened. I looked up and saw Haley staring in shock. Peyton didn't move. She turned and faced the wall and didn't move. Haley went to shut the door and leave when she realized something she hadn't in the first place.

"Peyton?" she screamed, she had thought it was some random girl on top of me and that would have probably been better, because the situation we were now in was not going to be good.

_I get as far as your door before i get caught.  
I make up excuses just to touch you and I can't stop, I can't stop. _

* * *

_**OMG WHATS GONNA HAPPEN? REVIEW and maybe i'll tell you ;)**_


	6. Play Hurt

**A/N: Another thank you for all the support. Hope you enjoy the update.**

* * *

**Chapter 6-Play Hurt**

_And you don't know what you're doin'  
When you turn and act tough  
You don't know what it's like  
To be me when your eyes light up. _

"Peyton?" she screamed, pain in her eyes.

Peyton bit her lip, her eyes giving me an alarmed look, she had no idea what to do, how to get out of here. She wanted to disappear, but she knew that wouldn't happen. She squinted her eyes, covering her breasts with her hands and arms.the most she could cover up with her shaking body. She pulled herself up and away from me and slowly turning, she faced Haley. Haley eyes flashed open wider, like she hadn't believed at first that it was Peyton, but now she knew.

"What the fuck is going on?" Haley yelled, as she looked both us up and down I thought it was pretty obvious what we had been doing, but I knew she wanted to know how and why.

"Look, it just happened, please don't freak out." I tried to explain, as I covered Peyton and myself up under the blankets, not making the situation any less unconfortable for either three of us.

"Don't fucking talk to me you perverted asshole. I can't believe you took advantage of a sixteen year old like this, and not just that, my best friend, who was obviously wasted last night! I told you how Jake treated her and now you're doing the same thing!" Haley flipped out, as Peyton glared out the window, still unsure of what to say, but once Haley was finished speaking the words must have came to her.

"That's not how it happened," Peyton yelled back at her, but regretting doing so, when receiving a death glare from Haley. She hestitated for a moment before continuing.

"He didn't do anything wrong. Besides how the hell does it look like he took advantage of me, I'm the one who was on him." Peyton finished, a smile came to my face when she spoke.

Haley just stared at both of us in disgust.

"I'm sorry." I whispered loud enough for her to hear, as I leaned over towards Peyton and grabbed her hand and held it close. Haley's eyes reverting instantly to where my hand covered Peyton's.

"Me too, it wasn't supposed to happen this way." Peyton almost whispered as she pulled away from my grip.

"What I wasn't supposed to find out?" Haley voice sent sharp pains into me, causing me to try to make her feel better.

"We didn't mean to hurt you." I whispered, Haley's anger did not dim.

"Go to hell!" Haley yelled as she slammed the door behind her.

We both jumped at the slam of the door.Peyton moved away from me as tears streamed down her eyes. Her body was still shaking and her eyes were sad. I went to console her, but she pushed me away.

I then leaned in towards her, my arms wrapping around her fragile and weak frame, a small kiss was left on her head as I pulled away a little to lean in and kiss her, but she quickly moved away, grabbing a sheet and standing up.

"We can't do this." She stated her eyes full of pain.

"But…" I started, why was she being like this.

But she interrupted me,"Haley is my best friend and best friends don't do this to each other, I'm sorry this was a mistake." She continued to cover her body with the see-through sheet as she headed towards the door and she opened it, her face turning back and looking at me.

"But I love you." I said baring my soul.

She looked at me as more tears fell from her dark and broken eyes, before she shut the door and left, without saying a word, leaning me there. Alone.

* * *

I slammed my door behind me, falling on my bed to cry. What had I done, I had ruined everything, not only had I ruined mine and Haley's relationship, but hers and Lucas's.

I had no idea how to make things better, but I had to try.

I got dressed and walked over to the room Haley was staying in and knocked on the door. No one answered.

I opened the door, and started, "Look Haley, I know…" but nope, it wasn't Haley.

There stood Nathan pulling up his boxers, but when I stomped in I startled him and he fell.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry," I covered my eyes, but randomly looked again.

Not bad. I smirked. "Where's Haley?"

"She's in the bathroom," he squeaked as he pulled up his boxer and began putting on his other clothes. I looked away instantly and waited for Haley.

Just then Haley stormed out of the bathroom, she ignored me and went straight to the bed.

Nathan looked at us awkwardly not sure what to do.

"I'll call you later." he said towards Haley before leaving. I smiled at him and he smiled back as he shut the door behind him.

Haley got back in her bed and covered her face, I stared at the bed, not sure what to say, unsure of everything.

I walked towards her and sat on the bed beside her, "Look I'm soo sorry, like you don't understand how sorry." I said sincerely but she didn't answer.

"So is Lucas."

Something inside her must have snapped when I said that, because her figure popped up from the bed as she began to yell,  
"Since, when do you talk for Lucas, what the hell are you guys now, dating? Because I'm fucking lost to where the hell this all started." her confusion obvious.

"I know this is overwhelming, it was for me to, but trust me. This won't continue. It was a mistake, we were drunk and we just got caught up in a moment." I lied through my teeth.

"But only **you** were drunk, and I don't even understand when this could have happened, you were passed out when I went to sleep, and Peyton, this was your first time.." she looked into my eyes, her feelings were know making sense.

"Okay, so we weren't drunk, but it was a mistake. We got caught up in a moment. We were lonely this morning and well we just did it, and I know I shouldn't have. my first time was supposed to be with someone..i love" I stopped, I hated lying. "But it wasn't that bad," I tried to joke but she didn't laugh. "But it won't happen again. I promise." I said looking in her eyes.

"So, it's done. That was the only time, this morning. Once, only once?" She asked.

"Yes." I had trouble saying.

We stared at each other for a moment, I felt horrible. I leaned in and hugged her, "You're my best friend, and I'm soo sorry." I kissed her cheek.

She smiled.

She looked down at the ground as I did to, to where Nathan had left his sweater.

"So, you and Nathan? How was it? It was great right?" she smiled, "It must have been because from what I walked in on, WOW!" I winked as Haley hit me playfully and smiled.

"It was amazing." Her eyes widened. "He is amazing."

Haley somewhat forgave me and we worked together to clean up the house.

While we were cleaning we saw Lucas leave. My heart broke when our eyes met His wonderful eyes, seemed broken and almost black.

But I had to pretend it was nothing, when Haley looked over at me. I noticed as Haley gave Lucas a smug look, she looked angry with him. I went to say something, I had to clear up what had really happened, but the phone ran.

Haley ran and answered it, "Hello?"

"Yeah,"  
"mmm..hmmm"  
"ooh really."  
"Okay, see you then."

She hung up the phone as she kind of awkwardly bit her lip.

"Was it Nathan?" I asked in a teasing tone.

"No, it was your dad" she stopped and I looked up, "He isn't getting home till next weekend, He said its march break anyways and he already asked my parents and your coming with me to my cottage for the ski trip." She said, not sure how I was going to react.

"With you." I smiled.  
"And Lucas." She added and I looked away awkwardly. Shit.

* * *

I got back later, like either of them even cared. I went straight up to my room and began to pack. I was looking forward to leave, even though it was with Haley. I could deal with her.

It was now an hour before we were leaving and I counted down every minute. As I packed my clothes, I kept staring at the bed in a weird way; I couldn't help but to think of Peyton, her touch, her body, her lips, her words, her. Every thought made me feel hazy and my body excited. But the more I thought of her the more my heart broke. I couldn't wait to leave this room, the room where I proclaimed my love and got shutdown in only a matter of seconds.

Though I knew Haley and I had a lot to talk about, I knew there was a better chance that we would work things out, than the chance Peyton and I had.

Even the thought of her name hurt.

I uncomfortably leaned down and made my bed, but thoughts of Peyton came back to me, over and over. Me inside her, her lips on mine, her lips on my chest, her moaning my name, her nails on my back, me exploding inside her. Over and over. It wouldn't go away. I had to get out of this place, my head was spinning and my body felt weak. I dropped the pillow, and flew toward the door.

Like on cue, Haley walked in, catching my off guard. She looked kind of angry, but I couldn't really tell. At first we didn't say anything, but I knew I had to talk first.

"I'm sorry about everything. I take full responsibility for what happened." I said wanting to make everything better, but knowing this wouldn't change it.

"I have one question," she couldn't look me in the eyes, "Who started it? Who kissed who first?" she finished almost snapping as she raised an eyebrow.

I took a deep breath, knowing that this were only going to get worse.

"I kissed her." I faltered.

Her eyes widened and I saw anger in her eyes, "What the hell were you thinking? She is 16 years old for god's sake." She yelled as I looked away, I hadn't expected her to react this way. I could tell she was more disappointed in me than she was with Peyton, but I couldn't blame her.

"I know you're the lady's man or whatever in Arizona, but you can't just come here and do this." She snapped as rage filled her eyes. I hadn't expected this, I thought Peyton had told her what happened, they looked fine downstairs, but I guess Peyton hadn't told her everything.

"She's been through so much pain with Jake and she doesn't need you to hurt her. This morning was her first time! Did you even fucking know that?" She yelled the ending.."Wait dont even answer because if you did know, your an even bigger asshole that I thought." I didn't have to even answer, she knew the truth.

"And for some fucking reason she choose you. A guy who just uses chicks for sex, for her first time." She pushed me with hatred in her eyes.

"You hurt her, I can tell by the way she looks at you." I couldn't believe what I was hearing, but I didn't say anything I just took it.

"She's my best friend and you're my favorite cousin, why did you do this?" She screamed as she fell apart. I felt tears coming from my eyes when I saw her cry. I pulled her into a hug as she let go of her anger and hugged me, tears falling on my shirt, for a moment we both just stood there.

"I'm sorry I hurt you." I whispered, as she cried loudly in my shoulders.

She slowly pulled away and almost smiled as she wiped away her tears.

"Just make things right okay." She said in a soft tone as she turned to leave but stopped and faced me. "You'll have a lot of time to do this because Peyton's coming with us to my cabin." She shut the door behind her.

* * *

Packing was difficult to do. For some reason everything reminded me of Lucas. Every thought that passed through my mind was off him. I knew he was hurting, he said he loved me and I just left and then Haley blamed everything on him. I overheard her yelling from the thin walls. And he just took it, he let Haley blame him and we both knew that it wasn't his fault.

It took me awhile to pack as flash backs of the mornings events passed through my horny teenage mind.

I had finally finished packing after an hour. I was extremely anxious.

We were leaving in another 15 minutes, so I began to bring my bag out into the hall. I waited. My eyes kept reverting back and forth to Lucas's door, I tried my best to stop but I couldn't. And without even thinking my body walked towards it. I stared awkwardly at it for moment before I finally got the courage to knock.

"Come in." I heard him snarl.

I slowly opened the door, as he looked up from packing and our eyes connected. A moment were everything seem okay. I then smiled but he looked away, as he grinded his teeth. I felt the pain I was making him feel.

"How are you?" I asked, not sure what else to say, but instantly regretting asking.

He laughed and rolled his eyes, and it was then that I saw a new side of Lucas. Anger.

"Don't come in here and act like nothing happened." He snapped and he aggressively shoved his pants into his bag, taking his anger out on his bag.

"I'm not acting like anything." I said in a soft tone, trying to calm him down, but mostly trying to calm myself down.

"Well, you were sure acting with Haley," He raised an eyebrow as closed his bag. "Because she seems to have a totally different story. One that includes me using you for sex and you loving me..." his eyes were glaring into mine. " But really I thought it was the other way around. But you had to go and fucking lie." He wouldn't even look at me anymore.

"Don't you dare blame me." I snapped as I stepped towards him, now he was seeing Angry Peyton.

"I'm sick of all the shit I've been getting for all this." He grabbed his sweater and pulled it over his shirt.

"Than stop being an asshole." He looked at me with a sad look on his face as he turned around, I knew he was disappointed in me.

There was silence.

"Look I'm sorry, you didn't deserve that." I whispered as I stepped towards him, "Can we just talk about this?" I placed my hand softly on his shoulder and felt his body quiver under my touch. My thoughts thinking back to when my nails were digging into this very shoulder as he entered further into me and I cried with bliss.

"No." he snapped as he pulled away.

"Why are you making this so hard?" I yelled at him, I hated having him angry with me. I felt tears begin to form.

"Because you make it too easy." He turned as his eyes jolted at me, the anger in his eyes seemed to disappear.

"What?" I rolled my eyes at him, confusing by his sudden change of character.

"Easy" He smirked as he stepped towards me. He was getting closer and closer, his eyes; dark and seductive. His body intoxicated me, as he came very close to me and stopped, grinning, just before he pressed his legs up against me.

He pushed me into the wall, his hands reaching down towards my body and into my hair. My mind went blank, as his rough fingers touched my wanting skin and massaged my curly hair. I didn't know what was going on, but I couldn't concentrate on anything but the look in his eyes that made my body urge for him. He leaned forward and my eyes closed. He breathed, kissed and bit the side of my neck as I moaned uncontrollably,my hands flat against the wall, holding myself up from falling.

He smirked as he moved his lips slowly up to my face, his lips grazed my cheek. I moved my lips towards his and instinctively kissed him. His lips lightly placed on mine, teasing me horribly.

I leaned forward to shove my tongue into his mouth but he pulled away and finished what he was saying, "You know like how easy you make it for me to get anything I want from with you, yesterday, this morning, oh and now." He smirked as leaned in and bit on my neck hard finishing the mark that he started. I pushed him off after enjoying the feeling for only a moment or two... or three and slapped him across the face.

"fuck you." I stated as I turned to leave.

"Aww, now you already did that." He smirked, feeling somewhat accomplished by the look on his face.

I couldn't believe what he was doing and saying, I gave him the middle finger and he smiled, I didn't understand how he could love me one minute and then be so horrible the next. I slammed the door, hoping it would break off and fall on him.

Haley came out of her room into the hall and saw me pouting.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"I just met Asshole Lucas." I squinted my face.

"Bummer, he can be pretty mean." She sympathized for me jokingly.

"Uh, yeah!" I said my hands falling to my thigh. I looked towards her and I saw her look at my face funny.

"What's on your neck?" She questioned.

I remember what Lucas had done, only moments ago. Crap.

"Oh … its just from my hair dryer." I thought up from the top of my head,laughing to myself at how ridiculous it sounded.

"Oh." She looked at me funny.

"Yeah" I said, I had a feeling she knew what it really was. I grabbed my bag and carried it down the stairs towards the car.

* * *

I took one last deep breath as I stepped out of my room with my bag, I nearly had a heart attack, when Haley was standing outside my room waiting.

"What the hell are you doing?" I snapped at her, my heart pounding.

"No, what the hell are you doing?" she raised an eyebrow as she picked up her bag. "I thought I told you to fix things with Peyton, not to be an asshole and give her a hicky or whatever the hell you did." She raised her hand at me.

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes as I slide past her and down the stairs.

_And you don't know what you're doin'  
You can only play hurt so much_

_

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**REVIEW**_


	7. It Ends Tonight

**Thanks for all ths support dudes. Hope u enjoy the next chapter.**

**

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Chapter 7- It Ends Tonight**_  
Your subtleties  
They strangle me  
I can't explain myself at all._

I dragged my bad to the car, sulking like a two year old child, it was there where I noticed Peyton was sitting in the backseat; she had her ipod on and wouldn't look up at me. I didn't blame her. I had been an asshole. I put my bag into the truck as Haley came behind me; I picked her bag up and put it in also. We didn't say anything to each other, just smiled awkwardly. I walked towards the passenger seat, opening the door my eyes glanced over at Peyton who was still ignoring me, I sat down. Haley got in and started the car. We left, for an interesting week I assumed.

We drove for about 15 minutes before anyone said anything. I just stared out the window, occasionally looking in mirror and back at Peyton, she was still ignoring me, and my heart ached for her. I looked back as she turned and looked out the window. I saw in her eyes that I hurt her with my words and my actions, but I only did it to make her feel the pain that I felt. I knew that was wrong but I still did it and there was no going back now. I looked at her and saw the mark I had left on her neck. Although it was out of vain, I still had this accomplished feeling that I had left that on her. I watched as she tried to cover it up, embarrassed.

Haley finally broke the silence,  
"Okay, I understand that you guys are both angry for some reason." She said in an annoyed tone as she said to both of us, but stared at the road, "But whatever it is can you guys just forget it and move on because this weekend is going to suck if you don't. I mean come on, I've moved on. Kinda. Sorta. Whatever. Can you guys just call a truce or something? " she finished, and waited for us to respond.

I glanced over at Haley and then look in my mirror back at Peyton, who was staring at me, a sarcastic smile straight across that often sweet and innocent face of hers. She went to say something so I listened, "If you tell him to stop being such an asshole, I'll forgive him." She looked over at Haley, never making eye contact with me, after her remark.

"PFTTT…" I laughed, "You forgive me, If anything I'm the one who should be doing the forgiving." I turned around and laughed at her, giving her that same sarcastic smile.

"What the hell did I do?" she snapped as she took out her earphones and moved towards me, I was angering her again, and I wasn't gonna lie, it turned me on.

"You mean besides being a bch and a huge slut." I shouted as I turned around and faced the front, leaving a shocked look on her face, turning me on even more.

"Me a slut." She laughed, "As I can remember you were the one all over me like some old guy on viagra, oh wait. You are!" She smirked and Haley laughed.

I laughed at her words, as I turned and faced her. She smirked. "You didn't seem to mind it with all your screaming and moaning." I winked as I rubbed my hand under her chin; she pulled away and snapped back at me.

"Yeah, I'm pretty good at faking stuff like that," she smiled at me. "And I had to make you for you're lack of…umm.. proportion." She grinned as Haley bursted into laughed, but stopped realizing what we were getting into.

I rolled my eyes at her and turned around. She was trying to get me where it hurt, but this playful banter only made me want her more.

"Okay, okay that's enough. I really don't wanna hear about all of this, and about Lucas's lack of mmm…yeah." She laughed at me.

"Whatever, we all know I have a big penis." I yelled loudly into the car as Haley and Peyton rolled their eyes. I couldn't believe I had actually said that out loud.

"Okay, can you guys at least agree to disagree, so we can have fun this week?" she whined, knowing that we weren't going to agree anytime soon.

"Fine." We both said in unison.

Haley's cell rang and she reached and got it.  
I ignored her conversation as I looked in my mirror at Peyton, she made a snotty face at me and I made it back at her, she rolled her eyes and put her music back in and ignored me again. She took at deep breath, annoyed with me, as her chest rose, her jacket opened a little reveling a bit of skin above her tank top, man did I want his girl. She bit her lip and her eyes were dark. She looked so hot when she was bad. For some reason I enjoyed making her angry, she looked so sexy when she was angry with me. When she was insulting me before I never wanted her more. I knew it was wrong but I couldn't help it.

* * *

I looked over at Lucas, I didn't know why he was being such a jerk, a hot jerk nonetheless, but a jerk. I glimpsed over at him, he was staring out the window as his eyes did that squinty thing he always did. His lips were together and in the sexy pout, which I loved, I saw him randomly smile at something and my heart lit. He was so perfect. The way his hair suck out around his ear, the way his lips closed together, the way his eyes always looked so intense and the way his skin looked so soft and yet rough at the same time. It was then that I realized something that I couldn't believe was true. I loved Lucas. 

Perfect that's just perfect, I couldn't have realized this when he said it to me. But now that he's being an asshole, I realize I love him. Perfect.

Haley finally got off the phone.

"Nathan's coming." She squealed with a smile in place, trying to still concentrate on the road even with all her excitement.

"When?" I smiled taking out my earphones.

"Tonight." She smiled. "And I said we'd mmm… meet him for diner." She whispered the ending, knowing we weren't gonna be happy.

"What?" I asked as Lucas looked over at Haley, now paying attention.

"Meet him for diner," she looked away awkwardly, "Us four." She finished.

"Haleyyy…" I groaned.

"Come on, it'll be a great time for you two to fix everything." She begged me, giving me the puppy dog face.

"Fine." I rolled my eyes, putting my earphones back in.

She looked over at Lucas giving him the same look; "Whatever," he shrugged his shoulders as he turned on the radio.

* * *

We drove all the way to the cabin without saying anything else. I would stare out the window listening to the radio and would often look over at Peyton. Our eyes would connect sometimes but we both instantly looked away, not sure if the other was looking or not. 

We set up in our own cabin about a 1-kilometer from Haley's parent's cabin. It was huge, Haley had her our room and bathroom and Peyton and I had our own rooms. It was more of a house, then cabin.

Peyton stormed right to her room upon arrival, she seemed to be quite angry with the hand gesture and comment I had made to her when getting to the cabin. And I don't know what came over me, but I just wanted to see her angry.

"How bout another of these, baby.?" I whimpered softly in her ear, after opening her door. My hand imitating something that I had a feeling a feeling I would be giving myself the next while.

She laughed disgustedly , grabbed her bag and stormed off, me grinning after her sexy legs.

Regretting what I had said when she slammed her door, I walked to my room and shut my door.

I unpacked more much easily than I had packed, this room had no memories of her. By the time everyone was done, we had to get ready for diner. Haley's parents had set up the diner at the country club. It was a fancy restaurant and we were entitled to dress up.

Luckily I had bought my suit. It was an average suit black suit, white shirt and black tie. I looked in the mirror and had to admit, I looked pretty good. Hopefully Peyton would think so.

I was ready in 15 minutes and waited down stairs for Haley and Peyton, who were obviously going to be late. I looked at my watch and noticed we were already late and I started tapping my toe. Man what was with girls.

Just then I heard someone coming over the stairs.,Haley appeared and was in major search of something. I laughed quietly at her, as she finally found what she was looking for and came and sat down with me, waiting for Peyton.

Haley looked really cute; she had a purple long dress on that really suited her. Nathan was going to be impressed.

"You look beautiful." I smiled at her.

"Thanks." She looked embarrassed, " And you don't look half bad yourself mister." She winked, eyeing my suit.

"Oh, this old thing." I laughed suggesting towards my suit.

Haley laughed as she looked down at her watch. "Come on Peyton." She yelled, knowing that we were late.

She looked over at me and said " By the way, this place is kind of a couple's thing, so you are going to have to be Peyton's date." She squinted scared of my respond, "Is that okay?"

I nodded as I got up from my sit and went to get my shoes to put them on. I heard Peyton coming from down the stairs, but didn't look up, I was scared to even look at her, knowing that she was going to look unbelievalbe.

"I don't have any shoes." She whined, as I continued to tie my shoes.

"Here" Haley said and I heard her pull out a pair of shoes from the closet.

"You look amazing." Haley muttered loudly enough for me to shutter from the even thought of Peyton looking 'amazing'.

"Are you kidding? Look at you." Peyton whispered with enthusiasm, as she pulled on her shoes.

I finally tied my shoes and stood up, and right in front of me. There she was, sitting on a table, pulling on Haley's black shoes. Her long and oh so smooth legs staring at me. Her head was down and I noticed that her hair was down and curly. She finished pulling on her shoes and stood up. My eyes widened. She looked down and fixed her short fitting black satin dress that pushed up her breasts and made a lovely cleavage. She pulled up her top only making her breasts bounce as she smirked in my direction, knowing what I was thinking. Her eyes were dark and hazy with make up and her lips were red and pouty and so kissable. Her hair completed her look, making her look sexy and confident but also innocent and cute, the way I liked her.

"Ready." She smiled looking in Haley's direction, avoiding my obvious stare.

She walked past a still in awe me. Haley was already at the door and didn't notice Peyton lean into me and whispered, softly, her warm breath on my neck.

"Now, I know you wish I could do that little favor for you now." She kissed the air in my direction as she winked, walking right past me. I rolled by eyes, boy was she right.

I noticed that her shoes made her taller, and all that passed through my mind was how much easier it would be to kiss her. But quickly I shook it off when Haley looked back at me funny.

"Let's go." I smiled as we headed to the door.

* * *

Nathan was waiting at the door and Haley nearly screamed. She jumped into his arms as he smiled in my direction, laughing at Haley. They headed out the door complimenting each other the whole way to the car. They were so cute. 

Haley drove and Nathan sat in the passenger seat. Lucas walked me to the car and opened the door; I looked up at him with a weird look. And why was he actually being nice?

"If I'm going to be you're date, I gotta act like it." He smiled as he gestured me to get into the car. I assumed Haley mentioned the whole 'it's a couples thing' bullshit to him. But if he was going to treat me like this the rest of the night, I'm glad she said something. I got in and he shut the door behind me.

He went to the other side and got in.

We drove, as Haley and Nathan talked. We didn't say much at first, but Lucas broke the silence.

"You look really nice, by the way, and I'm sorry about my comment before.." He smiled as I awkwardly smiled back at him, our eyes goggling over the other.

"Thanks, you do too and it's okay." I bit my lip and looked out the window. I had lied though, he looked amazing. I had never seen him in a suit before and it was taking everything in me from ripping off all his clothes right there and giving him what he had asked for before.

We didn't talk the rest of way.

* * *

When we got there, I ran out of the car and opened the door for Peyton, helping her out. She stepped around me and headed towards the restaurant, my eyes staring after her. Her body swaying as she walked in that sexy dress. 

We entered the restaurant and saw couples everywhere, the restaurant was beautiful and obviously expensive.

We were escorted to our seats. I helped Peyton sit down as Haley smiled at me. She knew I was trying to make an effort. And I was. I felt bad for being a jackass before.

We sat down and talked for a while, I ended up getting along really well with Nathan, he seemed like a great guy and I was happy for Haley.

Haley and Peyton were talking normally and it was obvious that Haley had learned to forgive us.

We ordered our diner and when it came we couldn't believe our eyes, they all looked delicious. We all dived in. I looked over at Peyton and noticed how much she was enjoying her meal, she didn't even notice me staring. She looked so cute eating and she didn't care who was watching she ate at her own speed. I laughed to myself as I ate.

I looked over at her again and noticed her closing her eyes every time she took at bite of her steak. My eyes shuddered thinking of the last time I saw that look of pure bliss in her face. But she didn't notice she was enjoying every bit of her food.

I continued to watch her.

We finished our meals and talked for another while, Haley and Nathan talked alone for a bit, leaving me and Peyton to talk. We were back to normal and we're talking like nothing had happened. But the look in our eyes could never be hidden. She was telling me stories of her childhood and I smiled. I loved learning more and more about her.

About thirty minutes later, we left the restaurant.

"That was a beautiful evening." Nathan smiled at Haley as he walked her to her door.

"Yeah, it really was." She smiled at him and then smiled over at me, I winked at her.

I walked Peyton to the car door and opened it. Her face was glowing as she smiled. "Thanks so much for tonight, it has been great." She placed her hand on mine.

I fought the urge to lean in and kiss her red lips and instead smiled. "It was my pleasure."

I helped her in and got in myself. The drive home was enjoyable, everyone seemed to get along well.

We drove back, but stopped at Haley's parent's cabin for awhile, we hadn't seen them yet and Haley wanted to introduce Nathan to her parents.

Once we got in I loosened my tie and went into the living room away from everyone else as Peyton followed me.

She let out a deep breath when she took off her shoes. "Thank god, they were killing me." She smiled as I made myself comfortable across the coach, taking off my jacket, throwing it to the coffee table as I unbuttoned a couple of buttons on my white dress shirt.

"God, this dress is so annoying." she whined.

Peyton pulled up her falling dress as I watched her.. She came and sat down beside me on the coach.

"It's been a long day." I laughed as made room for her.

"Tell me about it." She smirked as she leaned beside me like old times. I was happy we could go back to normal. But I knew we still had a lot to talk about.

"We never really got to talk about this morning, I just wanted to..." I started but we were interrupted by Haley, her parents and Nathan joining us in the living room.

"Aw, don't they look cute, as usually." Haley's mom smiled when she saw Peyton and I, as Haley looked away awkwardly. And I moved a little bit away from Peyton, not wanting to make things more awkward. Peyton noticed my distance but understood.

We talked for a while about our plans for the week. We had another 5 days til we had to go back and had a lot planned. Haley's parents invited Nathan to stay, but in their cabin of course and he agreed.

Everyone was talking except for me and Peyton who began to doze off, we were both really tired.

We both hardly noticed when they started talking about us.

I was quickly awoken when I heard Haley yell no, I was confused at first but then realized that Nathan had asked about what had happened this morning. Haley had tried to cover it up, but it didn't work. I heard uncle John trying to wake me up. I sat up straight as I opened my eyes.

"What is he talking about?" He asked, not really accusing anything, but knowing something was up.

"It's nothing dad," Haley whined, the pain in her eyes still there.  
"What?" was all I could mutter.

"What happened this morning with Peyton?" he asked, I wasn't sure what he was expecting to hear. Peyton then awoke, looking over and me, wondering what I was going to say.

"Nothing, it was just a misunderstanding." I laughed. I didn't know how I was going to get out of this.

He raised an eyebrow, " Okay, I'm too lazy to fight about it tonight. I'm going to bed." He laughed. Phew.

As my heart stopped racing, I looked over at Peyton and saw her bit her lips awkwardly as Haley's parents went upstairs to bed.

When they left, I saw Nathan smirk at Peyton and then back at me, as he walked to go to the bathroom. I followed him as Haley and Peyton sat in silence.

I caught up with him and slammed his body against the wall.

"What the fk was that man?" I whispered in an angered tone.

He laughed with a smirk, "You fucked her didn't you." He looked me in the eye as rage filled me.

I didn't respond. What was his problem?

" Don't feel bad man. I'd tap that shit." He smirked, I stepped towards him. What hell was he thinking he was saying?

"Here's a tip for next time you sleep with Peyton, don't get caught. You and Jake are both idiots," he laughed, "or maybe she just is."

I couldn't believe what he was saying. I slammed him harder against the wall. "Don't talk about her like that." I threatened him.

"Why not? The only thing she is good for is a good fk. We both know that." He smirked, and without even thinking I punched him hard in the face.

I heard a gasp and looked and saw Peyton looking at Nathan and me. Nathan winked at her as she ran, towards the door and out of the cabin crying. I shoved Nathan one more time before running after Peyton.

I chased after her towards our cabin.

"Peyton, wait." I screamed.

She just kept running until she made it to the cabin, she made it half way to her room before she broke down crying. I ran towards her out of breath, my heart breaking.

I kneeled down beside her and pulled her close to my chest as she cried.

"Don't listen to him Peyton, he's an asshole." I said as I rubbed my hand softy threw her tousled hair to push it out of her face.

She pulled away from my hug still crying. "It is true?"

I looked at her confused, not sure what she was getting at.

"Is that all I'm good for, because both you and Jake just used me and left." She managed to stutter.

"No, that not true at all. You're amazing. I'm still here and I'm not going anywhere." I wiped away her tears hugging her tight. She smiled as she hugged me close.

I began to stand up, she didn't move. I looked down at her and saw her body quiver, so I picked her up into my arms.

"Here. Let's get you to bed." I smiled down at her as she cuddled into my side. Her make up was all over her face from the tears she had cried. But in my opinion she looked more beautiful, she wasn't perfect and I knew that. But with her make up done nice and her dress on, I almost believed she was. Now I could see the real her, broken and oh so beautiful, but it was the real her, it was perfect to me.

I brought her to her room, and placed her down. She went to take off her dress and I turned around. I saw a bit of disappointment on her face when I turned.

As she changed I could feel the tension between us. As she slid off her dress, I felt her eyes on me. The sound of the dress and other garments falling to the ground was torture. The fact that she was right behind me naked, made my insides tingle and my heart beat fast.

"You can turn around now." She smiled. I turned around and saw her in a long white t-shirt and nothing else. When she climbed into bed, I could see that she was wearing absolutely nothing under it. Her butt showed a little as she slide, but she quickly and awkwardly covered it. And I looked away when she looked at me, making it seem like I hadn't seen anything. It felt easier that way.

I tucked her into bed and smiled down at her, I almost leaned down and kissed her head, but I hesitated knowing that my lips would more than likely find something other than her forehead.

"Night, sleep tight." I said as I headed to the door.

"Wait," she yelled as I stopped, sitting up a little. I knew she noticed me hesitate to kiss her.

"Can you lay down with me for a bit?" she looked at me after her words were said, not sure if she should have even asked.

I wanted to so bad, but I had a feeling if I did, something would happen, and that would not be a smart thing.

"We both know what's going to happen if I do and I really don't think it's a good idea." I smiled uncomfortably as I watched her eyes survey my body.

"Yeah." She said softly as she laid down and covered her body with the blanket, I knew she was a little mad but I couldn't do that to her again.

I shut the door without saying anything and went straight to my bed. Where I stared at the ceiling for hours, not sleeping, just thinking of Peyton.

* * *

When Lucas shut the door, I quickly sat up. What the hell was wrong with me? How could I be so stupid as to invite him into my bed, again? Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. I smacked my head over and over. I felt like some slut. No wonder Lucas had called me easy. I knew he didn't mean it, but right now I was trying to convince myself otherwise. 

I wasn't going to do this. This wasn't going to happen again. I couldn't let guys control my decisions. I wasn't going to let any other guy take advantage of me. This had to stop. This need to be loved and wanted. But honestly I knew that I was only Lucas, that I had ever wanted.

I stared at my ceiling only thinking of Lucas before I fell asleep.

_And all the wants  
And all the needs  
All I don't want to need at all._

**Review**


	8. A Breath Of Sunshine

**thanks for the amazing reviews. I've have been updating a lot recently, but i'm not sure if it will continue as fast. I'm coming close to where I haven't continued writing yet, so chapters will not be up as fast. But you never know. Just thought I'd let you guys know.**

**hope u still like me, and my story.**

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**Chapter 8- A Breath Of Sunshine**

_Couldn't get it right, I could never get it right.  
Sadly, this is a wasted conversation  
Lost on you_.

I woke up the next morning quite early, sleep hadn't come easy the night before. I laid there for hours, not moving, not wanting to face the world. I finally pulled my robe on and went to the kitchen, where I mad some delicious coffee. Haley came out of her room and into the kitchen as I drank my black and strong coffee.

"Morning." She smiled happy as a clown as I tried not to roll my eyes.

"Morning." I said back, with a less joyous tone.

"What happened last night? Nathan said you and Lucas got in a big fight last night and left." She said as she grabbed a coffee, not really thinking much of it.

I rolled my eyes, without Haley seeing. "Yeah something like that." I said back as I took a sip, wanting the coffee buzz that I loved.

Just then Lucas came in, short and t-shirt placed perfectly on his skin. He must have been out for a run because he was out of breath and sweating, he looked over at me, but I couldn't look at him. I still felt awkward and I was still confused.

"Hey." Haley smiled. "Good run?" She asked.

"Yeah." He answered quickly before running to the shower.

As he passed me, he looked at me with a kind of angry glare, this confused me, he had no right to be mad at me. I watched him go down the hall and wondered why he was angry. I would never understand why I cared so much about his every thought of me.

Just then Haley put down her cup, getting my attention and almost startling me.

"I'm gonna go see Nathan. See you later." She smiled as she went to get her jacket. I watched as she left and as soon as she was well on her way. I turned and headed down the hall, anger building up inside me.

Without over thinking my actions, I slammed open the bathroom door, where Lucas was changing, he looked up at me pissed but laughing, but I couldn't care less.

"What the hell was that?" I screamed at him as he tried to pull up his pants. I waited assuming he would answer me once his clothes were on.

But he didn't answer once his pants were on; he just stared at me, a peculiar look on his face as he stepped towards me.

"Why the hell are you mad at me? What did I do this time?" I was flipping out.

He still didn't answer. I was getting even angrier. I knew I could be very stubborn and easily annoyed, but this was over the top.

"Last night, I know I asked you to stay, but that was a mistake! But you can't just hold a grudge or whatever the fuck you're doing!" I screamed.

He still didn't say a word, just stared at me.

"Don't just fucking stand there and say nothing, you're…." I couldn't continue, when I spoke Lucas's eyes went dark and droopy as he aggressively stepped towards me, his lips smashing into mine. He kissed me, pulling me close to him.

I immediately shoved him off, stepping away. What the hell?

Both of us trying to catch our breath,"You're unbelievable!" I snapped in a disgusted tone as I stormed out of the bathroom leaving him and going into the living room. Confused as hell.

I fell onto the living room couch, knowing that Lucas would follow me.

I looked up and saw him staring down at me.

"What the hell was that?" I whispered appalled but provoked by Lucas's actions.

"I don't know." He whispered as he continued to stand above me, hands moving in and out of his pockets, eyes wandering around the room.

" Well..one second you're telling me that you won't even stay in the same bed as me, and then next you're kissing me. I don't know what to think. You can't just keep leading me on like this. Because I can't help but fall for you everytime." Truth spilled from my lips, as my voice crackled between sentence.

He looked down at me, not sure what to say.

But I watched as his eyes filled with words, and once he finally had the confidence, he began."I kissed you…… because,….. I can't get you out of my mind, I can't think about anything but you." My eyes couldn't help but glow as he spoke. He knelt down beside me, taking my hands in his.

"Last night I couldn't sleep knowing you were in the room beside me, and that I actually said no to staying with you."

I glared at him as he finished, " I couldn't believe what Nathan had said about you, you deserve nothing like that. You're unbelievable and it took everything in me from going and beating the shit out of him."

I giggled, leaning back more comfortably against the couch as he continued.

"I went for a run this morning to get you out of my mind, but it didn't work. And for a moment I hated the fact that you were the only thing that mattered to me. But when you came into the bathroom, the way you yelled at me. The anger in your eyes. It was then that I realized that no matter what you say or do, you'd always be perfect to me." My lips formed an obvious smile.

"But mostly I kissed you because I love everything about you, the way you smell in the morning, the way your hair curls on one side but not the other. The way your eyes go dark when you're angry." He looked at me as I bit my lip. "And the way you bite your lip, when you want to kiss me." I smiled at him. He leaned towards me, going to his knees so he was eye level, his hands on each side around me on the coach as he went to talk, but my fingers covered his lips.

"Shhhh… don't ruin the moment." I smiled as I closed my eyes gesturing him to kiss me, I heard him cackle.

He leaned towards me, lips falling gracefully onto mine. His hands traced my arms so softly, giving me chills as I attempted to breathe. He took my hand and pulled me up from the coach with a grin and held me close, my teeth biting his lip. I pulled away and leaded him towards his room.

We raced up the stairs me and in front and him chasing after me. We didn't make it inside his room before he turned me around and pushed me against his door. I giggled as he bit my neck and left sweet and gentle marks. I wrapped my arms around his chest pulling him close to me, breathing him in. I removed one of his hands from my waist to open the door. We both fell threw the door, kissing and touching.

He pulled away and quickly removed his sweaty shirt. I raised an eyebrow, I didn't think he would want to move this fast, back to the way we were.

He saw me hesitate and went to put his shirt back on. But I just smiled at him and began removing his shorts.

He then quickly removed my shirt, leaving us both half naked. Although this wasn't my first time seeing him like this I couldn't help but get nervous and completely and utterly dazed.

Once his boxers and my robe were gone, we quickly made our way to his bed. Him falling first with me on top of him, as our lips fought for control and hands covered the other's body, wanting to touch every part we could.

He jumped up instantly when he realized we were ready and went in search of condoms.

I sat there smirking as he ran all over the room looking for his bag in a rush.

"Calm down. I'm not going anywhere." I laughed as he almost tripped up in my robe that was flung onto the floor.

He looked over at me as I laid waiting for him on the bed. He looked me up and down, making me feel a little more confident when he grinned, his mouth almost drooling.

"I know, but I want you so bad." He groaned.

He finally found his bag, but once he looked inside he stopped.

"What is it?" I asked sitting up a little.

He threw his bag to the side and cursed under his breath, "I don't have any." He groaned impatiently.

"You're kidding." I said looking at his body that I wanted so much.

"I wish I was." He stated standing up and collecting our clothes.

I saw him begin to pull on his boxers, but quickly stopped.

"We can still do it, I mean what are the chances?" I said in a desperate tone.

"Peyton," He groaned, "I'm not going to do that." He groaned louder and I knew that he was about to reconsider. But I knew he was right.

I pouted, "I know, but I want you so bad right now." I groaned grabbing my clothes and pulling them on as my eyes watched him get dressed.

"Don't," he stopped me from putting on my clothes. "I'm going to go up to the store and pick some up, you wait here for me." I smirked, "And don't get dressed."

I smiled at him as he leaned in and kissed me on the cheek and went to go. I pulled him back, my lips on his instantly as I kissed him fiercely. My hands playing with his hair. I removed my lips and hands from his body as he attempted to catch his breath.

"Don't be long." I winked as I went and sat on the bed, waiting for him.

I smiled as he raced out the door.

* * *

I raced down the hall, looking back at my door in disbelief that Peyton was sitting on my bed, waiting for me. Naked.

I hardly noticed when I ran into Haley.

"Hey." She said her voice seemed concerned.

"Oh, hey." I said trying to keep myself from smirking.

"Where you off to?" she asked, noticing I was heading to the door.

"Oh, uhh. Just out." I mumbled.

"You can't, we are going out to lunch, I came to tell you and Peyton. My parents want us to met some friends of theirs."

Crap. "Okay, I'll just go later." I said trying to smile.

"I'll go tell Peyton. You get ready." I stated running towards my room.

I saw Haley go into her room and I quickly went into mine, making sure she didn't see anything. And there she was lying on my bed, naked and smiling.

"That was really fast." She smirked, pushing her bangs to the side.

I took an annoyed breath, "I couldn't go, Haley came and now we are going out for lunch with everyone." I closed my eyes; I couldn't look at her, because I wanted her so much.

She groaned loudly as she began to pull on her clothes, taking her sweet time, teasing me even more.

"Well this sucks." She stated as I watched her with desire in my eyes as she slipped on her shirt.

"I know." I groaned, as I helped her pull on her pants. A calmness over came both of us, staring down at her I couldn't believe how much she meant to me, and I couldn't picture my life without her. Even doing something as simple as helping her get dressed made me feel a sense of happiness.

Our eyes connected and she leaned in and kissed me on the cheek, making her way out the door. "See you soon." I whispered, shuting the door softly.

It was now around 3, Haley and her parents, Nathan, Peyton and I were going out to lunch. I wasn't quite sure what Peyton and I were going to do. Were we going to be a couple and actually tell Haley and her parents, or were we going to pretend like nothing happened. The restaurant this time wasn't as high class, so I wore a long black shirt, a jacket and jeans. As usual I was ready before Haley and Peyton.

I waited, when I heard someone coming down the stairs. Peyton walked down the stairs with a grin on her face when she saw me. She looked gorgeous as usual. She wore a jean skirt and a green top with a black leather jacket over top. Her hair was up, but curls still hung out.

She ran when she reached the bottom of the stairs, and jumped on top of me.

"You look soo good.." She grinned as she licked my neck, her hands in my hair. Stunned by her actions I couldn't help but burst into a giggle.

"Peyton, come on." I tried to stop her as her hands pulled up my shirt and played with my stomach, and her lips traced my cheek.

But I soon found myself rubbing her thighs and kissing her lips.

"What if Haley comes down." I whined, once I finally stopped myself. She groaned as she slid off me and sat beside me, figeting.

"Fine. Suit yourself." She said as she bit my ear teasing me. I gave her a displeased look.

Just then Haley came down the stairs. And I looked over at Peyton with an 'I told you so' look.

"Ready to go?" she asked, when she saw us waiting.

"Yup, let's go." Peyton answered.

Haley walked towards the closest to get her shoes as Peyton leaned towards me and whispered in my ear. "You might wanna fix your shirt." She stood up and walked out the door.

I looked down and noticed that my shirt was still lifted from when we were fooling around. I quickly fixed it. And looked after her.

Once we got into the car, I sat at the front and Peyton sat in the back. We were meeting Nathan and Haley's parents at the restaurant. The whole way to the restaurant, Peyton and I stared at each other, whispering and gesturing things as Haley drove. Although this sneaking around thing wasn't what we should be doing, it made everything seem soo much wronger, but in a good way.

I got out of the car and helped Peyton out as Haley ran towards Nathan, who I gave a dirty look to.

When Peyton got out, she walked by me as she pinched my butt, but pretended that she had done nothing as she walked off. I watched her walk off swaying in her short shirt and I smiled.

Nathan held the door open for everyone, and I watched as him and Peyton had an awkward confrontation. I quickly intervened and stepped between them, taking Peyton's hand and leading her to the table.

"Thanks." She whispered in my ear, before I sat down beside her around the table.

I tried my best to get along with Nathan, but he kept doing stuff that turned me the wrong way. The way I saw him rub Haley's chest when her parent's weren't looking and the way he looked down Peyton's shirt when she was taking off her jacket when Haley wasn't looking. I kept convincing myself that he was just doing it to get me angry and tried my best to ignore it.

Once Mr. and Mrs. Anden came, we began diner. They were very good friends of Haley and her family. They seemed like nice people and couldn't stop talking about their daughter Rebecca, who was my age and how great she was. She was running late and I was going to be joining us later on.

Everyone talked and enjoyed their meals throughout the first hour. Peyton and I shared unnoticed glances throughout our meal.

It was now 4:30 when Rebecca had shown up; once she arrived it wasn't hard for me to figure out that this was a set up. Uncle John and Mr. And Mrs. Scott were trying to set me up with Rebecca.

She was told to sit beside me and I was forced to introduce myself. I looked over at Peyton and saw jealously in her eyes.

* * *

I couldn't believe what was happening, as Rebecca placed her hand on Lucas's arm and laughed at his not even funny joke. And I couldn't do anything without telling everyone about our relationship; I had to sit there. I looked away as Lucas tried to smile and comfort me. I just continued to eat my lunch as everyone got along so well with Rebecca. She was perfect. She was sweet, beautiful, confident and was Lucas's' age. I felt myself become extremely insecure, why would Lucas stay with me when he could have someone like her.

I couldn't sit there any longer while Rebecca flirted with him.

"Excuse me." I said getting up from the table, I caught Lucas's eye but looked away as I got up.

"Peyton, what's wrong?" Haley asked confused by the look on my face, but understanding when she saw the look on Lucas's face.

"Nothing, I'm just not feeling good, I'm going to go for a walk." I smiled flaky enough for no one to care as headed outside.

* * *

"I better go, see what's wrong." Haley bit her lip. But I stopped her.

"Let me." I said getting away from Rebecca's grip. Haley smiled, understanding that we needed to talk. "I'll be back in a minute." I smiled at Rebecca.

I headed outside, to where Peyton was heading towards the pond.

I ran and caught up with her. It was cold outside and she didn't have her jacket on. I took mine off and as I got closer to her, I knew she heard me coming. I placed the jacket on her chilled arms, but she didn't say anything.

"Peyton." I said trying to pull her face towards mine, but she pushed away, being the stubborn girl I had come to love.

I wasn't going to give up that easily.

I moved to where she was looking and put her face in my hands.

"Hey." I smiled her eyes looking into mine. "I don't want anyone else but you." I stated clearly. She stepped backwards as my hands fell to my sides.

"Then why were you flirting with her?" she snapped, knowing she sounded absurd and jealous.

"I wasn't. I can't be rude to her." I tried to make her understand.

"Why not?" she said in a stubborn tone. I laughed.

"She means nothing to me." I looked deep into her eyes as I stepped forward wrapping my hands on her hips.

"No girl can compare to you." I smirked as her eyes twinkled before kissing her lightly and tenderly.

"You can be pretty charming." She grinned once we finished kissing.

"I know," I winked. I felt her hand graze my back as she bit her lip. I saw the desire in her eyes as she took a deep breath.

"You better buy those condoms soon." She smirked, her hand caressing my neck. She let go and handed me my jacket. She began to walk back towards the restaurant as I followed with a smile straight across my face.

As we ate I was polite and friendly to Rebecca but kept one hand on Peyton's knee the whole time.

Mr. And Mrs. Anden and Rebecca left around 5. We sat around the table and talked for a while after they left.

"So Rebecca seemed nice." Haley hinted, but she wasn't surprised when she received an awkward stare from Peyton.

"Eh, she really isn't my type." I stated shrugging my shoulders.

"You're kidding." Mrs. James said.

"Nope, sorry." I said my hand rubbing Peyton's leg.

"We went through all that trouble." John groaned as she reached for her jacket.

"Sorry." I said as I got up from my seat.

We left the restaurant and went home. The ride home was long as I was eager to get back so I could go to the store, extremely eager as Peyton caressed the back of my neck without Haley noticing.

Once we arrived, Peyton went straight inside to shower.

"What time do the stores close?" I asked, it was all I could think about, I asked Haley.

"They're closed, it's a holiday." She stated.

Damn it.

Haley said she was going to go see Nathan for a while.

I got out of the car and decided to go for a walk; I couldn't bear to be alone in a cabin with Peyton.

I got back after a long walk and saw Haley and Nathan watching TV on the coach.

"Hey." Haley smiled.

"Hey." I tried to smile back as I headed up the stairs, "I'm gonna go take a nap."

I headed towards my room, sulking. My head was filled with thoughts, but mostly I was thinking of Peyton and well... sex. God, why was I such a guy.

I walked quickly towards my room when the thoughts of sex went from my mind to other places in my body. I passed the bathroom slightly stopping for some reason. I stared at the door before turning and heading away. But I didn't make it there, suddenly I was dragged by my hand into the dark room. The door was shut and locked quickly as small hands were pressed up against my chest. Startled, I was frigtened at first but thats when I looked down a saw Peyton, her eyes burning with passion.

I pulled away, "Peyton, what are you doing?" I questioned, was she trying to scare the shit out of me? Her hands then pushed me back, snuggling against my flustered skin. The softness of her skin tormented my thoughts while she took hold of the bottom of my cotton shirt. I knew what she was doing now, but I couldn't believe she had been the one to cave. She pushed my shirt up over my head, her silky hands instantly rubbing my stomach.

"You're just so hot!" she breathed as she looked obliquely up and down my torso. My eyes finally opened for first time. surprising me that i had actually had them closed them for that long of a time. They eventually went straight to glare at her body. Oh my lord, there was Peyton, in a very skimpy black bra that pushed up her breasts so they were barely covered and matching panties that were almost completely see threw. My eyes widened taking in her image. Everything about her looked perfect to me. Sure she wasn't a supermodel, nor did she have DD breasts. But the little things about her body made her perfect. Her freckles that I was completely surprised to come across, that covered her chest. Her small stomach and her firm legs, the little details that I had never noticed on another girl before made Peyton perfect.

It was no surprise to me when everything started to become hazy when I looked at her. I wanted her so bad it was killing me. I'd had never felt this pain to touch, to kiss, to love.

Like she knew i was thinking about it, she dove her lips into me hard, as I tried my best not to give in. I panted as she began to pull off my pants. But I did nothing. I knew we couldn't do this and the only way I could think to say no at the moment, was to do nothing.

She nibbled on my neck as I bit hard my lip, breathing heavily, trying to think of anything I could do to stop this. But I just stood there, being tortured.

"We can't." I managed to stutter, as she ignored my words and she slowly zipped down my zipper. I was already completely hard from her actions, but it was only getting worse and worse as she began pulling off my pants. She eventually got them off and threw them to the side. My legs were shaking from her actions. She rubbed the skin above my boxers before she knelt down and slowly took them off. Leaving me naked. She stood up and shoved her chest against me, rubbing against me.

"I think we are." She whispered in my ear seductively, as her hands placed around me. It had been so long since one of us had talked that I was uncertain to what I had said in the first place, but the reason for my confusion and forgetfulness could probably be blamed on the small hands that wrapped tightly around my throbbing erection.

I groaned loudly as I attempted to stop her, once and for all, but it was no use once her lips took the place of her hands.

My mind went blank. I already knew that at that moment I had given into desire. And soon my body took control. I slowly leaned forward pulling her up and kissed her. I noticed her smirk when she realized that she had won the fight. My tongue began to lick her lips, my hands finding anything they could to touch. My body went wild with desire as my hands fiercely ripped off her bra, and she gasped erocticly. I pressed her chest against mine. Our nipples piercing the other's skin. I teased her as my hands played with the material on her panties and my lips licked her neck. She groaned loudly as her eyes closed for a couple of moments. She then removed my hands, becoming impatient and knowing I was just teasing her for my own pleasure. She pulled them down herself. There was now no article of clothing stopping us.

I lifted her up around me, as she wrapped her legs around my waist. I felt her body against mine and my heart stopped. It was one of those moment of pure bliss and happiness and it wasn't just about the sex. I felt complete. I loved her too much. More than I knew was good for the either of us. This feeling of sexual sensation was more that just a one time thing, or a fling. This meant more to me then anything else in the world. And I wasn't sure if she felt the same.

Her glossy eyes peered up in my direction as her lips grazed my nipples. As my lips fell to her shoulders, both of us in awe of how much we wanted and needed the other.

I knew what we were going to do was probably not a good idea, but nothing at that point could stop me. I walked with her wrapped around me to the other side of the bathroom, unknowingly we both looked in the direction of the mirror. We saw one another and how we looked together and I had never seen anything so arousing. She smiled at me, before she pulled my face into hers our lips fitting perfectly.

As the kiss continued, I pushed her aggressively against the wall and entered her quickly. She was shocked and gasped unexpectedly, but we both moaned in unison as we found our comfort spot. We moved fast and hard as she nibbled on my neck and my hands squeezed her ass, pushing myself harder inside of her.

I felt her nails dig into my back, as her eyes closed tight and she hissed. I smiled as I kissed her breasts softly. The feeling was undescribable and undeniably a moment I would never forget.

We continued. Our bodies one. Our hearts one.

And before long the moment was over.

I let go of her sweaty body and wiped my forehead, breathing heavy. She moved away from me, her eyes changing from happiness to sadness within seconds.

It didn't take long before we both completely understood what we had done.

I wasn't sure how to react. My chest was rising and falling as I stood completely still.

She lifted her head and looked at me. She smiled as she looked down and picked up her clothes. She realized that I had ripped them and looked for a towel, but couldn't find one.

"Here." I smiled uncomfortably back at her, passing her my shirt to cover up with. She grabbed the shirt and pulled it on in an awkward manner.

She stood there for a moment as I watched her, she went to come towards me, but hesitated. She finally came towards me, leaning up and kissing me on the cheek before grabbing her ripped under garments and leaving.

Confusion came over me. She acted as though it was just some random hook up. I immediately began to wonder if she was just using me for sex. Though it did sound stupid. And why did I care so much, this was great. It was the type of thing I liked. Sex, with no commitments.

But it did matter to me now, I was in love for the first time. And I wasn't sure if she loved me back.

I starred at the door with mixture of regret, disappointment, bliss and sorrow.

* * *

I stepped into my room, tears falling from my eyes, How could I have been so stupid and immature? I didn't think before I acted. Sure I wanted him really bad, but I could have waited a day or two. What was wrong with me? I pretty much seduced him into sleeping with me, I acted like some slutty whore. I wasn't surprised when he treated me like one, the way he ripped my clothes, though i enjoyed it at the moment, it startled me. I wasn't ready for all of this. _I was still a child and I wasn't ready for a relationship like this._

I looked at myself in the mirror. I pulled off his shirt. My naked body looked bruised. My neck and chest had marks, new marks from a minute ago and old scars from the past. My heart ached as I starred. How could someone of only 16 years old, have so many scars. So many memories of pain. I fell into my bed, wrapping myself in blankets. An unknown sadness overtook me. A feeling I knew deep inside was love, a love that I knew could never be.

_There's static on the airwaves.  
I'll try to find the light through all this haze.  
I can't find the words that I'm trying to say.  
So try to forget me as I walk away_.

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**Review**


	9. Call It Karma

**this is not one of my favourite chapters, but it was needed. but the next chapter will be well worth it. ;)**

**enjoy!****

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**Chapter 9- Call It Karma**

_And I know I need your comfort, but this drama makes me sick  
And the longer I lay here I know it's harder to get up  
without you_.

I finally got the confidence to knock on her door, though it took me three times after turning around and leaving. But I needed to talk to her. We both needed to talk. We had just had sex without a condom, without even hesitating. Though I wasn't going to lie, it was incredible.

But it hadn't been a pleasure that we hadt felt before, it wasn't soft and loving. It was rough and passionate. I wasn't sure if that was what she had wanted. I treated her in a manner that I knew wasn't right. I was 21 and she was 16. It was my responsibility to take care of her. But every time I was around her this almost soft like fog was all around me, making it extremely hard for my brain to even function.

I knocked again, when she didn't answer the door, I stepped in. Where I looked to her bed, she was under her covers and I could hear her crying. It was a quiet whimper that was so much worse than an actual cry.

I sat on the bed not quite sure what to say or do.

She took down the covers from her face, revealing her tear covered eyes, but she wouldn't look at me, she looked almost embarassed.

"I'm sorry." I whispered as tried to stop her from crying, my hand caressing her arm.

She sat up, as I saw more tears come from her eyes. "Don't even." she stopped for a moment. " Don't even blame yourself. This was all my fault." she said with pain in her voice. I knew she was upset with herself, but she had no reason to be.

"No, it was my fault. I'm supposed to responsible. I should have stopped it." I stated, my hands rubbing her bed instead of her arm, it had only made things more uncomfortable, when my hand was rubbing soft circles on the inside of her arm.

"How the hell was it your fault? I was the one who grabbed you and seduced you into having sex with me. I just ripped off your clothes. You tried to stop." She looked away embarrassed even talking about it. I went to talk but she interrupted " You were right when you said I was a slut and easy."

I felt a sharp hint of pain from her words. I wished I could go back and stop myself from saying those stupid things. I was such an ass.

"No, you are not." I snapped getting her attention. "Peyton, I'm the only guy you've ever been with and it's normal to want to have sex. I get it. It's something new, something you've never done before. And it was incredible. I mean come on how would it not be?" I smirked gesturing to my body trying to lighten the situation.

I finally was able to make her laugh.

"But you shouldn't feel ashamed." I said after her laughter. She just smiled at me.

"And when I called you those names. I only said those things because I was upset, stupid and stubborn because you didn't want to be with me. I felt myself getting my heart broken and I just acted like an asshole. You've been yourself all along. You are honest. You show me who you are, everything. The good, the bad. And I want all of it." My eyes concentrated on hers as I spoke. The pain in her eyes had began to fade, but it was still there.

"What are we going to do?" She said after a moment of silence, in almost a child-like tone.

"About what?" I wasn't quite sure what she was talking about.

"We just had sex without a condom." she looked away, grinding her teeth at even the talk of it.

* * *

"Yeah.. well there is the morning after pill, I can take you to get it tomorrow when we go skiing. if you want?" he looked away not sure if that's what I wanted to hear, but I knew he was only trying to help.

"Okay." I answered, I knew that was the only answer.

"I'm sorry." he muttered.

"Don't" I pulled his face towards me.

"What?" his now green eyes pierced my heart.

"Don't apologize." I smiled, "None of this was your fault. You are always trying to do good for me and you treat me like a princess. This wasn't your fault and I will never blame you for it." I saw him smile as I kissed his cheek. "You mean so much to me, and I never want you to feel like you are responsible for everything just because you are older. You have enough to take care of and I don't want to be a burden. I want you to be with me because you want to, not because you feel obligated to. "

"I've never felt that way." he said sincerely, as I felt his heart beat softly against my skin, as he leaned in closely.

"I love you." the words escaped my lips for the first time without having time to think them through. The words surprised me, but once they were said I knew that I truely did love him, and the only reason I was running from this was because I was scared. Scared that he wouldn't love me back.

I was nervous at my forwardness but that was only until I saw his eyes glow. He quickly leaned in and kissed me softly. My eyes shuting slowing. It was first kiss, my first kiss where I was kissing the man I loved.

"I love you." He mummbled on my lips.

He then stood up leaving me wanting more as he went for the door.

"Where you going?" I asked with a smile at his pouncing figure.

"I have to go run somewhere." he smirked closing the door. I laughed to myself and I finally got out of bed and headed to take a shower. The sadness was gone, It was almost like some sort of miracle. But I knew deep down, that even if it sounded extremely cheesy, that miracle was love.

Yup. That sounded cheesy.

I got showered and dressed with a smile planted on my face with everything I did. I swear Haley's parents thought I had gone crazy.

We all spent the rest of the night in the living room. Talking about our plans for the next day. Haley and Nathan were going skiing together as well as her parents. Since it was my first time skiing, everyone (accept Haley) agreed that Lucas should teach me because he had been skiing since he was 3 years old and I well. I sucked.

I watched as Haley looked awkwardly at both of us, still unsure if she could trust us alone. Although she had forgiven Lucas and I, I knew our friendship would never be the same, and I couldn't blame her for being angry.

I looked over at Nathan who was smiling from Lucas and back to me. I had no idea what I had done for him to treat me like this. It was like he just turned evil. One minute we were friends, the next he hated me or something.

Haley's parents left for the night and Nathan said he would be along shortly, it was going to be a long day tomorrow.

We talked for awhile and tried my best to get along with Nathan, which was almost impossible.

Haley went upstairs to change into her pajamas. Leaving Lucas, Nathan and me all alone.

There wasn't a word said for almost two minutes. But then Nathan spoke, "So I'm guessing you two are going to have lots and lots of sex tomorrow." he smirk.

I saw Lucas jump, his eyes filling with anger. I stopped him from getting close to Nathan. As Nathan just laughed.

"And very subtle way of hiding a hicky with a turtle neck. Smart move Peyton." He grinned gesturing to my turtle neck. Although he was an asshole, he definately wasn't stupid.

"What's your problem?" I snapped at Nathan, once I had finally calmed Lucas down.

"I just can't believe that you two are sneaking around like this, and don't pretend you're not. I can see right through your little games. You two already hurt Haley once. She told me. I just can't believe you're continuing it." He stated, he was speaking truth, but it wasn't supposed to be like this. We didn't want to hurt anyone, we just wanted to be together.

"Fuck you man, we aren't doing anything wrong. " Lucas snapped instantly back at him, knowing that that was partially a lie.

"Actually you are, it's illegal. I don't think that 21 year old guys are aloud to have a sexual relationship with a 16 year old slut." His eyes were dark as he spoke.

"Just stay the hell away from us." I snapped back before Lucas had a chance to. My arms were holding Lucas back.

"Ain't that cute, your little girl is sticking up for you." Nathan laughed.

Lucas got away from my grip as he shoved Nathan. Nathan almost falling.

"Who the hell do you think you are talking to me like this? You better back up, before I send your little sorry ass through that wall." Lucas yelled, and he was definately serious.

"Whatever.Just next time you two plan to fuck, make sure some one doesn't walk in." He snapped back at Lucas, while glancing back at me.

He winked in my direction, " Yeah, when your done with her, give me a pass. I loved to get some hot Peyton sex." He smirked, gesturing towards Lucas's neck where there were bite marks.

My eyes widened at his comment. Lucas swung his fist right into his face.

He chuckled looking down at his swollen lip before leaving to say goodnight to Haley.

Leaving Lucas and I there. Tears fell from my eyes from Nathan's comments, as I leaned into Lucas's chest. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me safely.

"Do you think we should tell Haley?" I stuttered out in his chest.

"I think so." I knew he didn't really want to from how hard it was for him to even say that.

"I don't want to hurt her." I mummbled taking a deep breath as I pulled away from his chest, looking up towards the stairs to see if anyone was watching.

"We have no choice, once we get it in the open, the easier it will be for us to be together. For real." He half smiled, as made fun of him, half smiling back.

We kissed and went to bed, thinking of each other, but hoping that we were making the right decision.

* * *

I woke up the next morning to Peyton jumping on my bed.

"Get up, Get up. Get up." She giggled, her curls floating in the air.

She knew we would have to get up early to catch Haley before she left, but why did she have to wake we up this way.

I turned my head up from my pillow, Peyton staring down at me, laughing her head off, at my expression.

"You thinks this is funny." I asked, my eyes barely open.

"Yeah, I do." She stuck her tongue out at me, stepping of the bed.

She pointed at me, gesturing for me to get up.

She helped me find my robe and we took a deep breath before we walked out.

I peeked in Haley's room as we walked down the hall, she wasn't there. I knew she must be down downstairs. I hugged Peyton tightly before we went downstairs.

"Everything is going to be okay. Okay?" I knealed down so I was eye view with her.

"Okay." she smiled softly before we headed downt he stairs.

But when we got there, Haley was gone. She had left a note saying they had left an hour earlier. A sigh of relief came at me, but I knew that if we didn't tell her now, we would have to still hide our relationship until later, which made it so much harder.

Not in the mood to go skiing quite yet. Well, I was, but Peyton wasn't.

So, Peyton and I decided to go relax in the hot tub. As usual I was there first waiting for Peyton. Five minutes later, she joined me.

She removed her towel revealing a black bikini. She smiled at me as my eyes surveyed her body.

"Pig." she snapped, jokingly. I smirked as she sat beside me in the hot tub She slowly grew accustom to the temperature. We sat there staring at one another.

"Hey." I smirked as she smiled at me, "Hey."

She was just so adorable, and sexy and beautiful.

I leaned towards her, wrapping my arms around her. And at that moment everything was perfect. We could be together without worrying, without thinking about how hard it was going to be to make this work.

"I was thinking we could go skiing later on around 2, that would give you plenty of time to learn .And plenty of time for falling." I laughed, as she pulled away from our hug.

"Hey," she shoved me playfully. "I'm not gonna be that bad."

I rolled my eyes as she shoved me harder.

"Hey," I laughed, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her towards me. She giggled as I tickled her sides.

Her face moved close to mine I kissed her, and she kissed me back. But she quickly pushed me away as moved to the other side of hot tub.

"Where'd you go?" I asked confused, but smirking.

"Not now, what if Haley and Nathan come back." she stated, but i knew that wasn't the deal.

"They aren't coming home til 9." I stated, as I moved beside her, kissing her neck, but she didn't move.

I stopped after a minute or two, noticing she wasn't responding, which was quite odd, considering I was giving her my A game.

"Come on Peyton, what happened to that girl in the sexy lingerie from yesterday?" I whispered in her ear. She aggressively shoved me off her and this time I knew it wasn't a joke.

"Woah, Peyton. What's wrong?" Confused by her anger.

"I'm not just here for you fuck whenever you want! I'm not your slut, or the girl who just does whatever you want when you want. I won't be that girl that you can just rip her clothes of and leave marks on her body." She yelled and I knew this outburst had a deeper meaning.

"I'm sorry about yesterday. I swear I will never treat you like that again." I said, now understanding why she mad. She looked surprised that I had firgured out what she really mad about so quickly.

"And I don't want you to be that girl." I said confused by why she thinking this, I didn't want her to think this.

"Then why are you doing this?" She snapped, her eyes went from angered to hurt in only seconds.

"Doing what? Kissing you?" I questionned unable to convince her.

"No, you were trying to do more. And I'm not just going to have sex with you anytime and anywhere. We don't even have any condoms. I won't be this irresponsible for my future!" She yelled as she went to get out of the hot tub. But I stopped her, my arm grabbing hers.

"I didn't mean for you to feel that way. I want you to think I respect you, because I do. And I wasn't trying to have sex with you here, I just wanted to kiss you. I like kissing you. Is that so wrong?" I grinned as a smiled formed on her face, and she sat back down in the hot tub. I definately had a secret power to make her happy, with everything I did.

"And trust me, I will never let anything like yesterday happen again. I will always take responsibility for this relationship. Because I don't want anything to happen that will change the feeling I feel niw." She smirked at me.

She smirked. She stepped towards me as she leaned in and kissed me. "I like kissing you too." she said between kisses, as I smiled on her lips.

* * *

It had been a long day. I got up at 6, and met up with Nathan. And boy did he look cute in his snow gear. We wanted to get to the hill early so we left right away. We spent the day at the hill. It was amazing, the snow, the hill, everything.

It was now 12 and we were meeting up with my parents for lunch, but when we got there, I saw Brooke, Nathan's sister and Peyton's friend and another one of Peyton's friends, I had seen her before but didn't know her name.

"Hey." I smiled, stepping towards my mom.

"Hey sweety, how was your day?" my mom kissed me on the cheek.

"Great." I smiled looking at Nathan as he smiled back at me, let's just say we didn't spent all of our time on the hill.

"Oh, they are here to see Peyton. Isn't that sweet. I told them they could stay with Peyton in her room." My mom gestured to Haley's friends, as Nathan and Brooke talked.

"Oh, great." I smiled at both of them as we entered the car.

"We aren't gonna go to lunch, until we go see Peyton. Her and Lucas haven't gone skiing yet, I called earlier and Lucas said they were going skiing around 2. So I'm thinking they are still home." My mom said to me as we turned to corner to the cabin.

"Sounds good." I said getting out of the car. We all entered the house, and saw no sign of Peyton or Lucas.

"They must be out in the back." My mom said. As we all walked to the backyard.

We turned the corner towards the hot tub. And I couldn't believe my eyes...again.

There was Lucas leaning over a half naked Peyton as they made out. His hands removing her top and her hands rubbed his back.

I felt my heart break again.

_Goodbye, old friend  
Goodbye, goodnight  
I'll move on  
You'll call it fate, I'll call it karma._

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**oooh shit she found out again, and so did everyone else. ahaha. yeah its not that funny. but i hope u liked it.**

**you know what to do.**


	10. Short Stories With Traject Endings

**i know i just put chapter 9 up, but i'm feeling generous. you better be too ;)**

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**Chapter 10-Short Stories With Traject Endings**

_This is your freedom in a life of fallacy,  
With no last kiss and no good bye._

My lips were all over him, tasting anything I could of his sweet and delicious body. I just couldn't control this feeling I had when around him. I wanted him soo much and all the time, I just couldn't get enough of him.

I groaned softly when he licked the insides of my mouth, his rough tongue rubbing over my shivering teeth and massaging my tongue. He began tugging on my bathing suit top and I instantly pulled off my bathing suit top, as he stopped, his eyes directly connecting with mine. He was unsure if I was just doing this in the heat of the moment or if I really wanted to. I gave him a reassuring look that I wanted to continue as I kissed him again and he wrapped around me waist. I pulled him in, not bearing the distance that was created between us. I felt his arm shake when I pressed my breasts against his chest as his lips covered my neck and a moan escaped my mouth. I pushed my body closer to him, getting as close as possible, showing him that I wanted to continue. I wrapped my arms around him, his firm body connecting to my weakened figure, as his lips traced down my neck. My eyes were unable to keep open, as I fluttered to stay conscious, the feeling taking over my body and mind.

It was almost enough to keep me from reality, but I then heard a unfamiliar noise, and quickly noticed that it wasn't coming from Lucas or me to my surprise.

I opened my eyes.

A sight I was unprepared for, faced me front and center.

There was Haley, Nathan, Haley's parents and my two friends Brooke and Bevin staring directly at Lucas and I. Unable to speak I watched as they stared at us. It almost felt to sureal to be true, so I waited for something, anything to tell me that this was actually happening. But Lucas was not bothered, he continued to kiss down my neck. His hand rubbing my bare chest as he moaned loudly.

"Does this feel good?" he whispered sensually as he leaned down and kissed my breasts as he rubbed his thumb over them. I cringed at his words, knowing that he would regret them later.

Although enjoying the feeling, I pushed him away. His eyes looking into mine, his hazy glow never leaving me as he tried to kiss me again. I shoved him off, not knowing how to tell him.

"Lucass." I hissed, getting his attention as I looked for my bikini top. He moved instantly off me once he noticed. His hands moving instantly off me and sliding to the other end of the hot tub. His jaw wide open.

He covered his mouth, starlted as I pulled on my bikini top.

No one talked, they all starred in shock except for Haley who stormed off, slamming the door. I looked over at Nathan who smirked arrogantly at Lucas. Before running off after Haley.

I saw Brooke and Bevin staring at me in shock, but it didn't take long before Brooke gave me a big thumbs up. Normally I would laugh at this, but now was not the time

Haley's parents gasped, they were the people I was most ashamed for seeing me like this. I grew up with them, they were like my second family. I was like their daugther. But I had a feeling things were going to change after they had seen me like this. Half naked, with their nefew on top of me. Yeah, things were definately going to change.

"Let me explain." Lucas tried to say to his aunt and uncle, after a long while of silence.

"Get out of the hot tub! NOW!" John ordered, his eyes were angered but I couldn't blame him. This was quite a situation.

We both got out wrapping towels around ourselves. John's eyes surveying our bodies, still in shock from what he had just seen. He was unable to believe that all of this had happened.

Lucas glanced over at me awkwardly. How were we going to explain ourselves? But mostly what was going to happened between us after this?

I watched as Aunt Rebecca forced Brooke and Bevin into the cabin, knowing that John was going to flip.

Leaving us three to talk.

Lucas went to talk again, but John wouldn't let him, so Lucas shut up/

" I am very disappointed.: John directed right at Lucas, but then glanced over me, "With both of you."

"I don't care how or why this happened." He looked at both of us like we were disgusting animals. We didn't speak or move.

"But it's not going to continue. Peyton." He looked in my direction as I adjusted my towel, feeling extremely embarrassed that everyone had seen me half naked. "I'm taking you home tonight and if you don't want your parents to find this out, you two will stop whatever you're doing." I looked over at Lucas and I felt a sudden sadness come over me, I had to be with him.

"And for you." He pointed at Lucas, but Lucas didn't look up. I felt sorry at that moment for Lucas. No matter what he always got the most blame for this, and it was because of his age, I always knew that.

"I want you to pack your stuff and leave. You are not living with us any longer." Lucas looked up in confusion. He didn't expect his uncle to kick him out.

"Are you serious?" I said, sticking up for him, knowing that this was totally unfair.

"This isn't his fault, I'm old enough to make my own decisions to. He didn't force me into anything." I snapped, totally regretting so after, knowing I shouldn't have said that.

"Peyton, this isn't your place, go pack your stuff." John snapped and I knew he was definitely serious, I looked over at Lucas with a sympathetic look as I left them to pack my stuff. I knew I couldn't change John's mind, even if I tried.

I entered my room after a few awkward conversations with Brooke and Bevin to pack my stuff. The conversations mostly included the questions, 'how had this happened?'

'Had I slept with him?' and 'Was he good?'. The last one obviously from Brooke.

I didn't care to answer any of them.

I fell upon my bed, staring at the ceiling. How had I made such a mess of this? Love always seemed to be so hard to grasp before, and now that I had it. It wasn't right, first of all. We were sneaking around, second of all he is 21 year old. And third, we both knew that it would be a long shot to make this work. But it was love, and nothing would change that.

I bit my lip, I was nervous for Lucas. What was going to happen?

I quickly cleaned my room and got dressed. I needed to talk to him. Once I finished packing my stuff I snuck to his room, making sure everyong still thought I was in my own room. And there I waited for him.

My mind keep thinking of the worst sceneros possible, so I started cleaning up his room a little and packing his stuff to keep my mind off everything.

He came into his room a few minutes later and slammed the door not knowing I was in there, but he looked even angrier when he saw I was there.

"Hey" I smiled at him, his clothes in my hand.

"What are you doing?" he snapped at me, when he saw that I had his clothes, His angry startling me.

"I was just cleaning up for you." I said softly as I put his clothes down. I knew he was angry and he had every right to be, so I didn't want to start a fight with him.

He ignored what I said, giving me a displeased glare as he removed his towel. Grabbing his black shirt and throwing it on. He went to remove his shorts but looked over at me. His eyes and hand gestures telling me to turn around.

I rolled my eyes at him, "You're kidding right?" I laughed. It wasn't anything i hadn't seen before, and plus I liked seeing it.

"Just turn around. God, I don't want to be naked in front of you right now!" he snapped at me, throwing his towel in my direction.

"What is your problem, Lucas?" I snapped back at him standing up from the bed. Sure I didn't want to start a fight but he was acting like a child.

He laughed arrogantly at me, 'I'll tell you what my problem is. I have no where to go Peyton. I have no place to live now. And this is all because..." He stopped.

"Because what?" I snapped loudly at him as I pushed him backwards catching him off balance.

"Because you had sex with a sixteen year old... because you messed up," I shoved him again, my heart breaking with my words."because you got caught!" I screamed at him as I felt tears come.

"Because I love you." He whispered to me as he pulled me in for a hug. I had not expected him to spill those words. In a way I was hoping for him to say one of my options, knowing that this answer was the only one that made the situation and our decision soo much harder to make, without breaking both our hearts or without ruining our relationships with our family and friends.

"Run away with me." He placed his hands on my face, lifting my chin as he pulled me forward wiping away my tears, but I just cried more.

"I can't." I whimpered against his hand.

"Why not?" he asked, his face wrinkling up.

I pushed him away. "Lucas don't." I cried, he couldn't do this to me.

"What? I just want to be with you." His voice became raspy, a nervousness in his normally stable voice.

"But we can't." I stated before I leaned in and kissed him lightly on the lips. It seemed as though it was a goodbye kiss. It was what I intended it to be.

But he pulled me closer, his lips devouring mine as his hands began to undo my top while my body shook, my eyes filling with tears. He nibbled on the side of my neck as I tried not to close my eyes and enjoy it. I knew it couldn't be.

I pushed him away. "Lucas stop. Sex doesn't just fix every problem. It's what caused this problem." I yelled walking to the other side of the room. I hadn't intended on yelling at him, but I knew that if I could get him angry with me, he wouldn't be able to change my mind about leaving with him, because I felt myself caving every moment. I grabbed his clothes and began packing them, trying to distract myself from imaging me running away with him and being happy.

"What the fuck is your problem?" he yelled in anger. His voice sharp and painful to my ears.

"Don't do this." I said softly as I packed his boxers into his bag. Every moment the pain grew stronger and stronger, the thought of us together forever, fading and disappearing.

"I don't understand what the hell I'm doing wrong. You're the one who is pushing me away." He grabbed the clothes out of my hand and threw them on ground. Getting my attention, knowing that I was trying to distract myself.

"Because this can't happen. We can't be together. No one thinks this can work." I cried as I sat down on his bed, not once looking him in those paralyzing eyes that were burning holes in my head.

"Then leave." He snapped I looked up and saw him pointing to the door instantly.

"Lucas.." I tried to reason with him as I stood and placed my hand on his arm, I knew he didn't mean it.

"Leave!" He screamed and I could see the pain in his eyes.

I let go of his arm as I went to the other side of the room and picked up my bag and headed to the door. I knew he didnt mean it at all, but I also knew this was the only way of leaving him, without actually having to leave. The coward's way out. I knew that.

I went to leave but I couldn't leave like this. I had to say something, anything.

"I just want you to know that I love you and nothing will change that." I said looking deep into his eyes before turning and leaving, never loving him more then in that moment, but never knowing if I'd ever see that beautiful face again.

* * *

My heart burned instantly when I awoke from yet another one of 'those' dreams that I was having too often lately. My nightmares had changed from painful memories from the past that made my happy life miserable to wonderful memories from the past that made my somewhat painful life a tad bit happier. But as the dream would fade the happiness of it would too.

The dreams felt so real that I couldn't even image that it had actually been two years since I had walked out of those doors and out of his life. Starting a life I had never planned to, and regretting so many of my decisions I had made following that day, but knowing that those decisions had changed my life for better and for worse.

_It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions and to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds.  
You let this one person come down in the most perfect moment. And it breaks my heart to know the only reason you are here now is  
a reminder of what I'll never have._

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**kind of a short chapter, but it had alot of meaning. hope you like it. and trust me soooo much more to come.**


	11. Bound To Happen

**sorry about the long wait for an update, hope u enjoy. thank sooo much for the reviews.**

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****Chapter 11 Bound To Happen**

_Well it's more than a shame that we lost to this game  
All my walking, talking, sleeping, breathing -  
nothing will ever be the same  
_

2 years later. Yes I couldn't believe it either. The weeks went fast, the months passed and before I knew I was here. In the present, regretting my decisions in the past, but mostly regretting not running after her that day. I knew thing would be different.

But instead, I strutted down the hallway, with another one of my top lady getting attires, entering into my favourite downtown club with my back-up friends by my side with one thing on my mind for that night. Like every other night.

As I entered the blurry and defining, music blaring club, I searched the room for any possible prospects for this evenings prowl. Kevin, my much shorter and not as good looking buddy looked over at me when he saw me staring around the room, eyeing every girl in sight.

"Found your lady for the night yet." He smirked, he was a good friend, but he needed to find someone of his own.

"Searching." I grinned back at him as we all walked towards the bar, I haven't seen anyone interesting yet.

This was our normal Friday night. And by Saturday morning I'd wake up with yet another strange women in my bed.

Sure some days I got lonely, but it wasn't that bad.

I had a reputation to uphold. Ever since I started at Tree Hill University and met Mike, Kevin and Jason, I'd been known as the ladies man. The guy that got any girl he wanted, and that was no lie.

I finished university and started working for the city paper, The Citizen, by the time I was 22. I didn't go out much then because I had a busy schedule. But now that I had a secure position on the newspaper and more spare time, I had a new girl almost any week.

As I drank my beer back, my eyes wandered from girl to girl. I wiped my beard with a smirk as I connected eyes with a brunette girl on the dance floor. She winked at me. And I smirked back. I put my beer down, turning and facing the dance floor.

Mike looked over in her direction. "She's hot. She the girl for tonight?" he laughed, knowing that the next time he'd probably see her, she'd be all over me.

"I dunno maybe." I laughed as I made my way to the dance floor, knowing that in only a few hours, she'd be in my bed.

I laughed as the guys watched me dance with her. She was a cute girl, short, petite. She would be fine. But she reminded me of almost every other girl. They were all the same.

Good kissers I guess, but predictable in bed. They would scream your name but didn't really bring anything else to it. I thought of all the girls I had been with and only one girl was different. Unpredictable and an incredible kisser.

My body pressed against her, as she danced around me. Her friends grinning at me as I smirked in their direction, maybe next week I'd get with one of them.

My eyes reverted in the direction of my guys, already getting bored.

I saw Jason checking out some girl, while Kevin and Mike talked. But my eyes couldn't help but land on the girl that Jason was checking out. She was wearing a tight pair of jeans and low cut teal shirt. Her hair was curly and my eyes couldn't leave her.

Without even saying a word, I left the girl and walked towards Jason. Jason saw me coming and rolled his tiny eyes.

"Good taste man." I smirked at him before making my way to her, he knew he had no chance with her.

"Hey babe, can I get you a drink?" I said with a raspy voice sitting down beside her.

She looked in my direction and my heart stopped.

Her eyes widened.

"Peyton." I blustered. I couldn't believe it was her. She looked incredible, like a real women. Her hair was longer and a bit dark and so were her eyes. Her being there only reminded me of how much I loved her.

"Oh my god." She laughed. "How are you?" she squealed as she leaned in and hugged me, her arms wrapping tight around my neck.

"You mean besides embarrassed for using that awful pick up line on you." I laughed to myself, I was completely embarrassed. But the feeling of her being in my arms again was all that I could process.

* * *

"It was pretty awful." I laughed as his hairy chin rubbed against my shoulder tickling me.

We pulled out of our hug awkwardly both trying to go in the same direction and almost bumping heads. We sat in silence before he ordered me a drink. But I just stared at him. He looked different. He had aged well, but there was still something about him that would never change. He was the same, which made it even harder to look at him.

When the bartender brought us our drinks, I quickly took a sip, almost urgently, trying to get so many thoughts out of my mind.

He grinned.

"What?" I asked looking embarrassed, as I placed my drink down.

"No. It's just you're 18 now." He stated sounding stupid and a bit weird.

I wasn't sure how to react. I just laughed at him as I took another sip, the tension between both of us could not be denied. So I thought maybe if I felt a bit drunk, that feeling would go away.

"So what are you doing here?" He asked with a smile that hadn't left his face, as I drank back my beer and a couple of shots.

"I came here for a night out, I've been really busy lately with my classes and stuff." I smiled at him as I took a sip of my new beer.

"Slow down." He whispered as I drank down the rest of the beer.

"Graduating soon?" He asked quickly after I gave him a dirty look.

"Yes, in a couple of days actually." I smiled, looking over at the dance floor.

"That's great. So do you still live in that lonely old house?" He said sincerely as he took a big gulp of his beer trying to keep up with me.

"Uh.. No." I laughed. "Got my own place, closer to the city."

"Your own place? You don't live with your dad?" he looked confused, and I knew there was a lot he didn't know.

"Yeah." I smiled at him. He still looked confused, but I wasn't ready to tell him yet. Not at all ready yet.

"What about you?" I asked, trying to change the subject, taking a another beer in my hand.

"I came here with some friends." He said pointing in there direction.

"I come here a lot. I live just down the street. I work for the Citizen now." He grinned as I felt his eyes survey my body. Boy, could he be more obvious, but he usually didn't notice that I could see every time he checked me out.

"That's so great for you." I smiled looking away for a moment, feeling his drunken eyes still on me.

"Looks like things turned out great for the both of us." He smirked, realizing what he was doing and stopped, before taking back a few shots.

"Yeah." I tried to smile, but I was still unable to believe that I was actually here with him.

A moment of silence came upon us, we both awkwardly drank our beer both having the same thoughts running through our heads, but knowing they were so wrong.

" Sooo..You wanna dance?" He asked with a devilish smirk, raising that eyebrow of his that made me weak in the knees.

"Sure." I answered immediately as he grabbed my hand and pulled me away.

* * *

Our bodies went together so perfectly, making evening harder being here with her. She swayed against me as I rubbed my hand subconsciously over her neck. I missed her so much and I couldn't fight the urge my body was giving me with every touch. As we continued to dance it began to get intense when my hands grazed her breasts and I felt her jolt. My hand fell to her hip, as her hands grazed my butt. I pulled away knowing that I couldn't continue without wanting to take her home and I wasn't sure if that would be the smartest thing to do.

"You wanna get out of here and get a coffee or something?" I leaned in and whispered in her ear. My beard rubbing against her skin giving her goose bumps.

"Yeah." she whispered with smile that gave me chills and she moved away from me.

"I'll be right back." I said walking away, knowing her eyes were following me the whole way.

I walked up to Kevin, "Hey man, I'm gonna take off." I couldn't help to say with the same smirk I had every time I left this club.

"Oh, leaving with that girl eh." Jason winked.

"You're totally getting some." Mike smirked when he looked over Peyton who was staring at me with a seductive grin. She was finishing down another beer, which only made her smirk grow bigger.

"Something like that." I smiled at her as I shook their hands and left.

I walked out of the Club with Peyton by my side, my hand went to grab hers, but I hesitated and decided not to. When headed down the street for about a minute not saying a word to each other. I would often look in her direction and we'd smile. She was now holding onto me, with her arm wrapped through mine, not being able to walk straight. She was drunk, a lot worst than me. I couldn't help but chuckle when she tripped on her heels and almost fell right on her face. She quickly tried to regain her balance.

"Sorry. This is embarrassing." She stuttered out.

"You don't embarrass me Peyton." I helped her walk, knowing that the many drinks she had were keeping her from seeing clearly and most likely thinking clearly.

A smiled started on her face.

We walked all around the city, not actually stopping for a coffee. Too busy with each other to care. We talked about almost anything we could think of. But nothing about the last time we saw each other or anything too personal.

We walked and walked, well I walked, she waddled and we ended up in front of my apartment.

"You wanna come up?" I shrugged my shoulders, I was hoping she would say yes.

"Uh," Her eyes were staring at her feet. "Sure." she took a moment to respond, but when she said yes, I knew she wanted to all along.

We headed up to my apartment not saying a word.

"Well, I'll get you that coffee I promised." I said as we entered my new apartment. I had finally raised enough money to get my own apartment, instead of living with Kevin who snored like crazy.

"This place is great." She smiled as she made herself comfortable on my couch, placing her jacket on the table, I could tell she was not feeling as dizzy as before as she could now walk in a straight line.

"Thanks, It's a work in progress." I laughed as I got out the coffee cups.

She smiled back at me as I made the coffee.

Once it was done, I brought her cup over, sitting beside her. She grabbed the cup and our hands touched and for some reason it was so uncomfortable. There was an awkward silence between both of us and I said the first thing that came to mind.

"So how are things with you and Haley? I haven't talked her much, since.. Yeah." I slipped, trying to make the intensity go away, but completely making it worse, when thoughts of Haley catching us together crossed my mind.

"Me too." She said sadly, but I knew was thinking of that day in the hot tub too.

I finally realized what she had said.

"Really?" I asked really surprised. I knew there was a long story behind it, but I didn't think it would be right to ask, at least not yet.

"Yeah, the last time we talked didn't end well. I'm surprised she didn't call you after it." Peyton said as I saw a bit of relief, as she spoke. I was confused.

"Why?" I asked, I knew there was something she wasn't telling me.

"It doesn't matter." She stated taking a sip of her coffee. I wasn't going to stir anything up. Yet.

Another silence came upon us as we both stared out the window, I was wanting desperately to know the reason why, but wanting something else soo much more desperately.

She turned and faced me with a smile, about to say something, but i beat her to the punch.

"I want to kiss you right now." I looked at her, not regretting my drunken words.

"Then do it." she said softly as her smile grew. My heart was beating fast.

I slowly leaned forward, nervous as hell. As I watched her eyes close. My insides freaking out, that this was actually happening. My lips slowly captured hers as I leaned forward placing my hand on her lap. Her hand ran through my hair so quickly that I knew this was all the alcohol's doing, but I couldn't care less as mine rubbed up and down her lap. She pulled herself on top of me as the moment became more intense, I could taste the alcohol in her breath. But our bodies were acting before our minds could even think.

I wanted her so much and I felt that she wanted me too and that's all that really matter at that moment.

My hand made it's way up her shirt. as we pulled away from our kiss as her eyes starred passionately at me. She smirked as she immediately removed her top, my breath stopping as I surveyed her body still not believing that this was actually happening. As I looked over her body, I noticed it was different, but it a good way, a grin grew upon my breathless face.

I watched as she smiled at my reaction. I flipped her over quickly, a noise escaping her mouth and her eyes squinting. I was now on top and quickly pulled off my shirt revealing my firm chest. She looked me up and down and stopped. That's when I knew she had seen it.

"What is this?" She laughed gesturing to my nipple ring, I knew it was something she was going to notice the first time I had seen her in the club this evening, it was all I could think about. What would she think of it?

"A nipple ring." I answered in a sort of 'duh' tone.

She rolled her eyes at me. I laughed. She leaned forward her lips clasping my nipple as her tongue played with the ring. My eyes rolling back as I grabbed a pillow trying to release my tension. She stopped and sat back up once my nipple was hard. She looked deep into my eyes.

"I like it." she licked her lips giggling as I smirked, she was drunk, but so was I so I didn't care.

I reached for the clasp on her bra. It was removed and I looked at her noticing that most of her scars were all healed. A feeling of relief which was held inside me for years was released. I pulled her in, my tongue licking her mouth as I thrusted forward, getting as close to her as I could, still feeling the numbness of alcohol throughout my so-wanting to feel body.

My hands played with her belt trying to get it off, my eyes tricking me as I tried to focus on her belt. She laughed after a minute. She had always been the impatient one, not me.

"Here."she spoke as she helped me remove it. She removed it quickly as my face feel to her stomach, kissing it softly.

I felt her figet and I looked up she was looking down at me and I saw her eyes begin to water a bit. I knew a million things were running through that beautiful head.

I went to kiss her, but she stopped and I knew exactly what was happening.

"I gotta go." She stood up quickly putting on her bra and shirt as I just sat there, breathing heavy and trying to think of anything to say to make her stay.

"Peyton. Don't" was all I could say.

She grabbed a pen and paper that was on the table and wrote down something.

"Give me a call tomorrow." was the last words she said before she left.

I sat on couch for the next hour overwhelmed by the events of the night. Had I actually just been with Peyton, or had I imagined it. Almost every hour that night I had to go to the kitchen table just to see the paper with her number on it, just to make sure it hadn't all been in my head.

I couldn't sleep the whole night. I couldn't get her out of my mind. I didn't understand. We could finally be together for real this time and she just blew me off, I needed to see her.

I looked up her name in the phone book and got her address. I was going to surprise her, I had to be with her.

I picked up some flowers on my way, I knew I was a cheese ball, but I wanted so much to impress her. She came back into my life so quickly and I was in love again. I couldn't believe that only 8 hours ago I was alone and bitter, sleeping with randoms, and now. I was in love, again.

I knocked on her door with a big smile on my face that wouldn't go away.. I was going to make sure this time was different. This time it would work. I was sure of it.

I knocked again as no one would answer the door.

After about a minute or two the smile on my face was gone. I assumed she wasn't home.

I turned around to leave before I waited another while.

That's when I heard the door open.

"Can I help you?" A deep voice said to me, I knew it wasn't Peyton.

I turned and faced the mysterious person, my breath catching in my throat. His dark figure standing a bit taller than me, his bright blue eyes staring back at me.

"Nathan." I almost screamed.

And we stood there, almost like in a movie, right before the two mortal enemies attacked, The silence.

But the silence was interrupted.

"Lucas." Peyton's soft presence almost made everything okay again, until I noticed that she wasn't in her normal clothing, she had a long t-shirt on, which I quickly noticed was Nathan's. The shirt he was lacking.

A million thoughts crossed my mind.

The silence was worse than an noise I had heard before. Heart-wrecking and mind-boggling silence.

_And this is so difficult for the both of us  
I know we tried so hard, there's just no hope for us_


	12. Everything Is Exactly What It Seems

**here is another one. hope you're liking it. Keep reviewing.**

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**Chapter 12 Everything Is Exactly What It Seems **

_I thought I'd figure out how to change  
But you never change._

I paced through the apartment over and over again.

I debated whether to go over to his house that night or not. I talked to Nathan, he didn't like the idea at first. But he later encouraged me to go talk to Lucas, he knew Lucas needed to know the truth.

After much hesitation, I found myself at his door.

I knocked a couple of times before he answered.

He looked terrible. His eyes red and his hair in a mess. His beard was long and not groomed nicely like it had been. His clothes were dirty and old. I could tell he wasn't taking it well.

"What do you want?" he snapped, before I had time to speak.

"Please let me talk." I pleaded with him, he had every right to be angry but he needed to know the truth.

"Do you not understand the meaning of ' I never want to see you again! "He snapped loudly his eyes burning with rage, reminding me of how he had stormed off the other day when seeing Nathan with me.

"Please, I just need to talk to you." I began to cry and I saw him soften.

I watched him roll his eyes as he walked away, leaving the door open as he sat on the couch. I assumed he was letting me in, not really the way I liked to be invited in, but it would have to do.

* * *

I watched her out of the corner of my eye, walk in my apartment shutting the door behind her. She placed her purse and her jacket on the ground. Revealing a red top and fitting jeans, that made her look gorgeous. Was she trying to torture me? Of course she was. I couldn't have her, so of course she had to wear the most perfect outfit ever and make me want her even more. If that was even possible in the first place.

She came and sat beside me, cleaning up on her way, it was just something she seemed to do when she was nervous.

She sat down and smiled in my direction. I tried not to smile back.

I went to talk, well not talk. More like yell. But she stopped me.

"I'm sorry. I should have told you." her lips rubbed together as the words fell out.

"How long?" my eyes wouldn't look over at her, so I couldn't see the confused look she was giving me.

"What?" her confusion was evident.

"How long have you two been together?" I couldn't even say his name, the thought of her actually being with that jerk after everything he had done disgusted me.

"We ar" I knew she wanted to speak, but I just couldn't take it anymore.

"I just don't understand how you could be with an asshole like him. He was a fucking dickwad to you and now you're with him, and you didn't even say anything to me before." I stopped knowing I was giving her a mouth full to explain, but before I knew it I began again. "And last night we almost had sex, and you didn't think it would be a smart idea to tell me you had a boyfriend. And I know you were drunk, but I knew you wanted me Peyton, and don't try and say you didn't. But then you just leave and go and have sex with Nathan." I blurted out, as we both didn't dare to look in the other's eyes.

"I just don't want to do this anymore, I can't have you coming in and out of my life and breaking me each time." I finally looked her in the eyes as I spoke my last words. Her lip was shivering and her chest was rising and falling like she was trying to hold in from crying.

"I'm not with Nathan." Her quivering lip had stopped.

Though her words made me suddenly more light-hearted, but I couldn't believe it was true.

"But I saw you in his shirt, and he is living with you." My logic to assume they were together seemed so right.

"He doesn't live with me. He comes over every now and then to check on me ever since I've moved out." She was unable to finish her explanation before I jolted my eyes at her. This sounded ridiculous.

"I know that sounds stupid. But it's true, he is a nice guy now if you just got to know him."

I laughed, that had to be a joke. There was no way I was going to believe that Nathan was a good guy.

"He came over last night just to check on me, he left this afternoon. But I swear nothing happened, I was in the shower when the door rang, so I had to grab a shirt." I couldn't believe what she was saying, it sounded so untrue, but I could tell she wasn't lying. I didn't want to, but I believed her.

"I swear nothing happened. I'm not with him." We were now facing each other, as her hands slid towards mine. Holding mine.

I pulled away from her reach.

"Did you slept with him?" I had to know, even if it hurt.

"What? I just said I didn't." She was now looking insulted.

"Have you ever?" I said clearly, repeating what I had really meant to ask her. I watched as her stunned eyes went blank.

* * *

I couldn't, I couldn't tell him, I knew it would break his already breaking heart.

"Yes." My lips said before I could restrain them.

A harsh noise left his lips, as he pushed his face away almost having to bite on his hand to stop from screaming. I knew it hurt him, but he needed to know the truth.

"When?" I managed to hear his mumbled words through his hand.

"2 years ago."

He glared when he heard me speak, a stare I would never be able to forget.

I knew he was about to explode so I spoke again.

"It was after you left, he comforted me and then he kissed me, and it just happened. But I swear it only happened once, and nothing has happened since then. We are just friends. He is with Haley still."

I stared at him the whole time, but he wouldn't look over at me.

"Was he good?" He was finally able to look over at me. He raised an eyebrow as he spat out his words.

"Lucas.." I groaned. What was he doing? I reached towards him, but he moved away.

"Did he fuck you good?" Lucas shouted at me, the pain seeping through his eyes.

* * *

"I can't even remember, it was nothing."She shouted back at me. I knew I was being a jerk to her, but I couldn't help it, it hurt so much just the thought of her being with him.

"Did you cum?" my harsh words scared her already weak physique.

"Lucas, stop." she yelled back at me, as she leaned forward into my chest.

"He doesn't matter to me Lucas. I don't even remember any of it." Her hands reached for my face as she looked deep into my eyes making this statement as clear as she could.

"I can't even remember it." She whispering calming me down. "But I can remember everything about you. Every touch and every kiss. He is nothing compared to you." She was now tearing up, about to cry.

But I couldn't stand to see her cry, I lifted her chin up she could see me.

"I"m sorry."

We sat there for a moment, with nothing to say.

She stood up after a couple of moments.

"Let's get you cleaned up." She smiled and my heart melted, that smile could brighten the darkest day of my life.

I didn't move so she helped me up and I didn't say a word, as she pulled me towards my room. She walked in my room and went threw my stuff with no problem, knowing where everything would be, just from knowing me. I just stood there watching her.

She started the shower after she picked out some clothes.

"You can shower, and I'll just clean up here. I'll wait." She smiled as I slid towards the washroom.

I cleaned myself up in the shower. The water falling on my body, the feeling so cool and warm making me forget everything in the world.

I got out of the shower staring at my naked body in the mirror, a lot had changed in just 24 hours. I turned and wrapped a towel around me. Drying my hair a little before I stepped out and saw Peyton waiting sitting on my bed, she was looking at my photos on my side table.

"These are adorable." She giggled at pictures of my 23 birthday. Squinting her eyes doing a gagging face when she saw pictures of me with girls. But it didn't phase her, she knew I had been with other girls. But even the thought of her being with another guy made my stomach turn.

"Yeah, it was pretty great." I responded still standing in the same spot.

I starred at her lost and confused with my whole life and I knew she saw those things in my eyes.

My heart was beating fast as she stepped up from the bed and walked towards me, her eyes never leaving me, in my towel.

"Here." She said passing me my clothes, taking care of me, like she always had. It was somewhat ironic how she was always taking of me. She had always been so mature and intelligent for her age, that it was so simple to forget the 5 years age difference, if anything she seemed older.

I moved to take the clothes, I grabbed the shirt and began to pull it on. But I soon felt her hands on me, helping to pull on my clothes. My eyes closed, a darkness taking over me. She was so forward as she moved her hands over my body like nothing had happened between us.

I didn't moved as she took off my towel, slowing taking the time to fold it and place it on the table as I stood there still not moving, naked. I felt her eyes on me as she pulled up my boxers at a slow pace, taking in the view of me. I felt her hand slightly touch me, but my loud breathing startled her and she moved away. She pulled my boxers all the way up. Moving next to my shirt. She pulled it down in a way that she was able to touch my whole chest. She went to put on my pants, but I stepped away.

"It's okay. I won't try anything." She laughed, pretty much saying she wouldn't touch me, as though I was some scared girl in the same position.

I stepped forward still not talking.

She pulled up my pants, trying as much as she could not to touch too much of me.

She dressed me fully and later stood up and starred into my eyes., my eyes were able to open, but once they did. I couldn't help but smile as she smirked at me.

She leaned forward and kissed me. I didn't move. One minute she was pushing me away the next she was pulling me in. I didn't understand. I felt her pull away when I didn't kiss her back and I saw tears in her eyes.

"You said you wouldn't." I stuttered, not knowing how to react to her actions.

"I'm sorry." she said softly before turning dropping everything and heading to the door.

I watched her leave but I didn't want her to go, I wanted her to stay. I needed her to stay. I walked towards her and she slowly turned when she heard me coming. Her lips moved to speak but I pushed her softly against the door, as she grinned widely reminding us both of so many times that this had happened two years ago. I fell forward.

My wet lips finding her tender lips. My rough hands finding her sweating hands. My horny body finding her aroused body.

I pulled her by her tight red shirt leading her to towards my tasselled bed, where the pictures were scattered. I pushed them all to the floor as she chuckled.

I kissed her as I opened my mouth letting her tongue easily slip in, remembering instantly how she tasted. She tasted like a dessert you can only get a your favourite restaurant, but when you did get to taste it, nothing else mattered. I laughed quietly to myself that I had just compared Peyton to a dessert.

She was finally able to sit down on my bed as I stood in front of her. I ripped my lips away from her. She stared at me, her glowing hazel eyes trying to seek any type of expression on my face. She then gave me a direct look and with just that I knew what she wanted.

I removed my shirt as her head titled to the left, checking me out. I grinned as she then took a hold of my arms and pulled me down on top of her. She rolled me over, so she was comfortably on top. She nibbled comfortingly on my neck and trailed her soft lips down my stomach. She quickly pulled away and sat up removing her already half way off shirt, chucking it somewhere unseen.

She was about to lean back down on top of me when I looked up at her, and she knew what I wanted. She smiled before she reached her hands behind her body and removed her bra throwing it to the side. I smiled as she sat on top of me, waiting for a few seconds, letting me take a look before she laid herself on top of me.

Our bare bodies rubbed together causing each of us to groan. The sensation was undescribable, a feeling we both only felt when in the arms on the other. My body and mind were both aroused and I couldn't help but to flip her over and lick her all over her body.

I licked her neck, her lips, her breasts and her stomach as she whimpered, her torso pulsating.

I could sense her arousal as I kissed her stomach, feeling her waist move forward in almost a jolting movement. As I kissed her stomach my tongue licking her belly button, as she giggled.

"That feels so good." she moaned, but as she spoke I don't know what it was but one thing came to mind. Nathan. And before long he was all I could think of. I couldn't get the thought her touching him like this as I used my best effort to disregard it. As my hands began to unbutton her jeans, my lips still on her.

She was purring under my touch.

Her legs began kneading my thigh as she attempted to pull my boxers down, trying to get two things done at once. I laughed as I remembered how impatient she was. I let her take control as my mind kept reminding me of Nathan. I didn't like the thought of anyone touching her like this, especially Nathan. Thoughts of them together flashed in my mind.

She jerked me over sideways, causing my mind to stop. Her teeth on my lips and then on my nipple ring as I groaned from the pleasurable discomfort she was giving me as she pulled my ring with her teeth. She carefully moved down my body making sure every part of her body rubbed against mine. But even the most sexually gratifying sensation couldn't keep my mind from slipping away, I tried as I could to ignore it as her hands rubbed up my thighs.

But even when my body was throbbing from excitement when her hand met the fabric of his boxers, I couldn't help but imagining her touching Nathan this way.

She began to slide my boxers down, the surprise behind them showing her that her actions had consequences on my body. She took them off all the way and threw them towards the wall, her eyes never leaving my naked body right in front of her. She stared intensely at me, while I didn't budge. I was aware of her gently hands as they made their way up my warm thigh. Her hand moving closer and closer. Closer.

But that's when I pulled away.

I leaped off the bed, urgently searching for my boxers. I found them near the wall and grabbed them. I tried trying to pull them up, but I was shaking. I finally got them on. I looked over at Peyton who had hardly moved, but the expression on her little face had changed. She gazed at me and asked about to cry,

"Lucas, what's wrong?"

"I can't Peyton, I can't do this." I snapped, I didn't mean to snap, but I couldn't help it, my emotions were all over the place.

"Oh! Okay, I'll go." Peyton stuttered, tears formed in her eyes as stood up. She covered herself with her hands looking for her shirt, but was unable to find it.

"Peyton, no. That's not it, please don't leave." I stepped towards her trying touch her, but she drove me away. I could tell that he had hurt her feelings. She pulled up her pants that I'd hadn't entirely removed and starred fiercely at me.

"Then what the hell Lucas, I don't understand what's wrong." She yelled at me, not hiding her naked chest anymore, but throwing her hands outwards in anger, giving me a better view of her perfect body.

"You fucked Nathan, that's the problem." I snapped at her, as I threw her top at her. She stumbled to pull it on as she instantly began to cry.

She fell onto my bed, her face falling into her hands.

"Don't cry Peyton, please" I whispered "I'm sorry." I sat down on the bed.

"I understand why you don't love me any more" She cried, her face still hidden.  
"That's not it at all Peyton. I love you so much. But too much happened just to ignore it. I can't ignore it. I won't." I stated softly as I leaned beside her. Placing her in my arms as she hugged me back.

"I had an abortion. That's why he checks on me." Her words were muffled from my chest, but I still heard them.

"What?"

"You got me pregnant." Her eyes moved from my chest and stared into mine. The pain she was holding in all along was now clear.

_She's not hiding wings beneath her leather jacket  
Everything is exactly what it seems_

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_**REVIEW!**_


	13. AN

**A/N:** okay so i realize that i may have offended some people with the use of an abortion, i apologize and i'm totally against it also. it's just where I thought the story should go. i didn't think it would be right if they had a child. i hope you continue to read. i will not be supporting her decision, hence the reason why she didn't want to tell him.

but i apologize once again.


	14. You Oughta Know

**okay so i was a little nervous on writing this chapter. its not very long, but i think it was all I could put without ruining the moment. I hope you like it and i'm sorry if you dont. I did my best.**

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****Chapter 13- You Oughta Know**

_And I'm here to remind you  
Of the mess you left when you went away  
It's not fair to deny me_

It had been days since Lucas had stormed out mumbling swears under his breath, leaving me to escort myself out. His reaction was what I had expected.

He wouldn't answer his phone and when I went to his door he wouldn't let me in. But how could I blame him, I killed our child, a child we would never get back. I regretted my decision everyday.

But it had been a hard a month, my dad kicked me out after finding out I was pregnant, the whole thing with Nathan happened only a few days before, I had no job and no place to live. Haley and I had a falling out after everything with Lucas and Nathan. But how could I blame her either.

I had made a lot of stupid decisions.

And having an abortion was on the top of that list.

But the one person who stood by me was Nathan, I was surprised to when he found me a place to live and took care of me. Out of all the people in my life, he was the last person I thought I could count on. But after a few hard days I always found him there, he took care of me on those hard nights when I couldn't think of anything but the baby and Lucas. He knew I loved Lucas. When I told him about the night in the club, he wasn't sure if it would be a good idea to tell Lucas about the abortion. After getting back with Haley, it almost destroyed their relationship yet again when he told her about the abortion and how he was taking care of me every now and then. The rumors at school that Nathan was the one who knocked me up didn't help either.

But I knew I couldn't lie to Lucas, it was something I would always carry around and it was a rash decision I had made that he should have been a part of, the least I could do was tell him.

After getting the door slammed in my face for the fifth time this week, I was rethinking it my decision of telling him.

"Lucas! Please just let me in." I had to scream to get his attention through the door but my voice was dead and raspy from all the crying I had done. I started banging as hard as I could. The horror of him shutting me out of his life overcame me.

He finally opened the door as I banged for another while, by the time the door was open I was breathing heavy and my eyes were full of tears. I looked terrible, the truth was I hadn't look in the mirror since I told him. I couldn't face myself.

He looked fine though which was a surprise to me.

"Peyton, I can't talk to you right now. Because frankly I still disgusted with what you did." His speech was clear and calm as I was still restraining to breath properly.

"Lucas, please you have to understand." I was able to stutter out as we stepped into his apartment and he shut the door not wanting the neighbors to here us fight.

"What is there to understand? You killed our child and I didn't even get a say in it. It wasn't just your decision to make Peyton." His voice was rude and unlike any tone I had heard from him before, as he stood before me arms crossed and lips closed tightly together.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do Lucas." I was begging him to understand as I moved towards him. "I was sixteen, I was pregnant, I had no job and no place to live."

"Your dad kicked you out?" He looked surprised as he uncrossed his arms.

"Yeah, and he said it would probably be the best idea for me to get an abortion especially after him finding out about the whole thing with you, and then with Nathan."

"You mean the whole thing with Nathan happened before that?" Lucas stepped towards me his angered and rude tone vanished but transformed into furious and horrid.

"That's not the point" I was determined to continue but his snarky laugh made me stop.

"What is it?" I was now totally bewildered to what he was doing.

"How do I know the baby wasn't Nathan's?" His words dug deep into my lonely heart, this rudeness and hatred was not what I expected from the man that loved me.

His eyes looked empty now, like even since that night something inside him died, but they had no problem burning deep holes into my soul.

"I found out I was pregnant on a Saturday, I remember the exact time, what I was wearing, the color of the sky. Everything. I remember when Nathan came over to check on me after everything that had happened between us that evening. He apologized. And that's when he kissed me. I was so confused with everything in my life that I just let it happen. But afterwards it hurt so much, the thought of having to see your face and tell you about the baby but having to tell you about Nathan also. So I decided not to."

He didn't respond he just stared at me, his eyes now beginning to show emotion.

"I don't know what feeling hurts the worst, having to keep this away from you and having to live with this decision for the rest of my life. Or having you actually have the nerve to ask me that." My voice was now the angered and harsh one.

He now looked away as I saw in the corner of his eye a tear form.

"I had no money to support this baby, no father for the baby, no family, no friends. It was the only decision I thought was right at the moment, and I expected you to be angry. But this, How dare you?" My eyes jolted at him, as I stormed out of his apartment, never looking back.

My feet were moving so fast that I was almost unable to here Lucas behind me.

"I would have been there for you."

His words causing me to turn around and face him.

"It was after the abortion that we realized nothing would happen between me and Nathan because I still loved you. But I was too scared to find you because I was so ashamed of everything I had become."

He stepped towards me, his eyes still empty but obviously his heart wasn't as he wrapped his arms around me, now understanding.

"I'm sorry." he mumbled into my hair.

"I know." I whispered back to him as his chin rested on my shoulder.

"I understand how hard this must have been for you and I'm just sorry I couldn't have been there for you. We could have started a family." his words were so wonderful but so painful at the same time, as his soft breath fell into my ear.

"I would have loved that." my voice crackled as we stood there in each other's arms. For perhaps an hour, or a day, or maybe only a few moments. Neither of us could tell the difference.

_Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able  
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no_


	15. Make This Go On Forever

**anywho here is the lastest chapter.. i didnt really get to edit it soo sorry!

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Chapter 14- Make This Go On Forever

_Please don't let this turn into something it's not  
I can only give you everything I've got_

2 weeks later.

I looked up from my math textbook when I heard the door open and I smiled in Lucas's direction. A lot had changed over the last week, Lucas and I seemed to have worked everything out, He came and visited everyday now after work and we would have diner. I was graduating in another 4 days and was going to Tree Hill university so I knew that Lucas would be in my life.

Though we talked about our lives and work/school, we never talked about us, our the concept of us being together. The last time we kissed had been that night, and it didn't seem like anything was going to happen. But we were both pretty busy, and had been more concerned with getting used to this situation first.

But I couldn't help but feel a little bit of tension between us, as we would never sit to close together and if our bodies happened to touch we would move away and act as though nothing had happened.

After diner which consisted of pizza that night, I walked out of my room expecting to see that Lucas had gone, usually after diner for the last week or so, he would leave and I would see him the next day at the same time.

But he was still there, laying on the couch watching tv.

"Long day?" I asked, sitting on the chair beside him.

"Mmmm.. Yeah." He laughed, his eyes on the tv.

"What about you?" He asked a moment later, turning off the tv, there was nothing of interest on.

"I'm busy, last couple of days are always busy." I smiled in his direction, I really loved talking to him about anything and he would listen.

"Oh, that's right. You're graduating in 4 days. Prom is soon right?" he pulled off his tie and unbuttoned his shirt getting more comfortable.

I nodded and smiled at him.

"Who's your prom date?" he asked me, making me feel a little bit awkward.

I laughed, "It's kind of hard getting a date when everyone knows that you were pregnant at 16, and that it was rumoured to be the child of your best friend's boyfriend."

I saw that I made him feel uncomfortable, as though I was blaming him and the whole situation.

"I'm not even sure if I going, I have a dress, but I don't see the point." The truth was I really wanted to go, but I had no friends to go with or anyone.

"What?" He looked back in my direction. "You have to go to prom."

"Let's see the dress." He smirked, it was one of those rare moment every once in awhile when he would flirt with me. I loved those moments.

"No." I laughed again, blushing.

"Come on." He whined making a puppy dog face, loosening his shirt even more.

"Fine." I snapped but smiled also, getting up and going to my room. I puled on my dress, taking a deep breath.

"Don't make fun. It doesn't look the way I thought it would." I stated before appearing from the corner.

His eyes widened when he looked at the soft red dress, that laid upon my body. It was low cut and had a silk ribbon around it.

"Oh my god." He kind of almost laughed, I wasn't sure what he meant.

"You look incredible. I... I'm speechless." He pushed his hair back, taking a better look. A giant grin widened my face, making me feel warm inside.

"You can't let a dress like that go to waste." he stood up and walked towards me, making me feel nervous as he got close to me.

He took my hand placing it in his, "Peyton Sawyer, will you go to prom with me?"

I giggled as he looked in to my eyes with a suave gaze. "Yes."I smiled leaning in and hugging him.

* * *

It was 2 days later, and I was in a huge rush, not only did a had an editorial due but I had to meet Peyton in 20 minutes.

I ran from my office, passing my editorial to my assistant Bernice, her heavy and manly voice distracting me from her fuzzy moustache. I rushed down the stairs and into my car, flustering with the keys. I speeded down the busy roads changing as I turned corners, pulling off my pants at stop lights. Checking my refection in my side mirror.

I pulled up in front of Peyton's apartment. Crap. I was 10 minutes late. I held my breath as I looked up and saw Peyton waiting outside. She looked a tad bit angry. I smiled awkwardly at her and a confirming smile was brought to her face. She hopped into the car, laughing as I rushed to pull up my dress pants.

"Next time, warn me, before I get in the car." She smirked, raising an eyebrow at my Power Ranger boxers that were still very visible.

I pulled the car out, once my pants were secure.

She helped me change, but it wasn't like in my room that night. We rushed to the hotel. It was where her prom was being held, I questioned whether it was a good idea to have a prom at a hotel. I mean come on. But also had a devilish thought that we could maybe get a room. I knew I shouldn't be thinking that, but we didn't have to be back til tomorrow. So I couldn't help but ponder the possibilities.

I finally got on my jacket as we parked the car. I fixed my tie in my mirror, glancing sightly at Peyton. I was in such a rush I hadn't noticed how great she looked.

"You look amazing." I smiled as I tried to catch my breath. She smiled back at me, fixing her dress. Knowing that she looked great, but hiding it.

"You too." she smirked, reaching her hand at my tie, and fixing it sightly. Her eyes concentrating on my tie, as mine concentrated on her. I don't know what was happening but at the moment everything fell silent. She yanked the tie to the left before lifting her eyes opening to stare at mine. I hadn't noticed before but when she looked right at you, you could almost see a caramel color outlining her grayish blue eyes. She felt the obvious sexual tension, she turned reaching for the door handle as the car heated up. I swore the windows were foggy.

Something came over me then. Maybe it was the way she looked, maybe it was her eyes, maybe it was the fact that it was prom. Maybe it was because I missed her, maybe it was because I always wanted her but whatever it was, my hand stopped her.

"Wait." A soft voice escaped my lips almost startling me and definitely starling her. My eyes closing slightly when my thumb touched her velvet dress.

Her eyes looked down at my hand before looking in my direction. The more I starred at her the more I noticed how beautiful she was. She opened her mouth to talk but before she could say anything my head moved towards her. A familiar smile grew on her face as my lips touched her neck. Kissing her more than softly. My tongue jolting onto her neck as certain points, as well as my teeth scrapping up and down.

"Oh god." she groaned. Her hands rubbing her thighs and opening her legs pulling up her dress a little. We were still separated by the seats the only thing joining us was my lips, my eyes staring down as she rubbed herself a smirk I was unable to stop formed on my face.

"I've been waiting for this for so long." she was able to say, as she moved towards me unable to take the distance between us. The only way she could come any closer was to move on top of me, and she did that with no problem. I moved my seat back, as she fell on top of me. Her hips connecting with mine, as we together even threw the layers of clothing keeping us from being one.

"Me too." I whispered in her ear. Her hands now moving from her body onto mine. I tried to hold back a moan as she rubbed my waist before I was reaching for her red lips and kissing them anxiously, her lipstick marking my face. She moved away adjusting her dress over top of me, when she soon became uncomfortable. She glanced at my lips, giggling when she saw her red lipstick covering my lips and parts of my face.

"I like that color on you." she smirked as she reached down and unzipped my pants. It shocked me in a way, but in another way it didn't she had always been quite forward. I looked up at her not sure if we should continue what she intending. I didn't have any condoms on me and I knew we didn't have the best luck in that department.

"Don't worry I'm on the pill." she rolled her eyes with a reassuring smile. A grin marked my face as I tried to hide it, but it amazed me how much she knew about me. She could even read my mind.

I looked up her, a question ready to move from my mouth. But again, she read my mind.

"My dad doesn't really trust me since,... yeah. That's the only reason." she kissed my cheek answering my question.

I was about to say something, but didn't think I should. I didn't want to ruin the moment. I felt her pull down my pants a little as I rubbed my rough hands up and down her arms, telling her to continue. As she did, my hands reached up and ran through her wavy hair.

She smiled at me, her eyes closing shut enjoying me rub her hair. She reached and pulled down my pants slightly. A quirky smirk formed when she glanced downwards at my boxers. I noticed her reading and looking at the details of each power ranger. It was almost laughable. Her hands leaned down and rubbed one of the power rangers a loud groan escaping my mouth, surprising both of us.

I ignored her obvious stare and smirk that something that simple could cause me to jolt, as I ran my hands slowly down and under her dress reaching to remove her undergarments. Her body moving upwards, her hands holding onto the roof.

"I'm not wearing any." she whispered in my ear once she realized what I was doing. I quirked my eyebrow, when had she become such a sex kitten. She obviously knew something was going to happen tonight. But she knew me quite well, well she knew us quite well, we were never able to keep our hands off each other.

I then lifted her more on top of me, opening her dress over me.

I smirked knowing what was going to happen. I hesitated a moment as our lips rubbed the others, her tongue deep into my mouth, rubbing aggressively around my teeth. My head fell against the head rest taking in her taste in my mouth. I sat there as she devoured my lips. I looked up and I didn't move as I realized that we were still in my car. I wasn't sure if this was right, if we should be here. I didn't want us to be here. I wanted to show her how much she meant to me. And doing her in my car wasn't what I had in mind.

But my doubts disappeared when she leaned in, nibbling on my ear whispering.

"Make love to me." her breath hot against my neck. The idea was now prominent in my thoughts and I knew that there was no turning back now.

"Here?" I questioned, knowing that I wanted to, but making sure it was okay for her. Heck I was a guy, I'd have sex anywhere. But I wasn't going to do anything she didn't want to.

"And now." she jolted her hips forward, making me hard against her as she starred lovingly into my newly nervous blue eyes.

I smiled, before I grabbed her head and forced her lips against me. She bit my bottom lip, pulling herself closer towards me. A painful but erotic feeling was all I could feel. She pulled away realized that she had bite me a little to hard.

She looked and saw blood dripping from my lip. Her eyes widened.

"Oh my god. I'm soo sorry!" Her hand wiped away the blood from my lip. She looked so embarrassed as she placed her hand on her head. I laughed at her as she pulled away a little.

"Don't worry about it. I like it when you bite me." I winked pulling her back towards my body. She giggled against my lips, her tongue sucking on the spot that she had recently bite, wanting to make it all better. I pulled her on top of me, moving her dress to the side and as she moving upwards holding onto the roof. I pulled my boxers down urgently as she waited, getting annoyed as they wouldn't go down. I finally pulled them down as our eyes connected. The caramel in her eyes making me harder by the second.

Entering her slowly, she closed her eyes forcefully pulling her face away and leaning backwards against the steering wheel. I grabbed her body before she fell. She became weak with my actions and I was terrified that I had hurt her or something.

"Are you okay?" I asked, shaking her to get her attention. What had I done?

"Yeah." she whispered opening her eyes. Feeling bad for worrying me. "It's just been awhile. That's all."

"Do you want to stop?" I asked slowly removing myself from her.

"No." She answered instantly pushing me back inside her. Her body growing accustom to me as she thrashed forward only seconds later.

I moved forward pushing her closer to the wheel. Taking control, my hands rubbing her breasts as hers held onto the side of the car.

"Harder." she screamed, shocking me. I don't even remembering her yelling that before. But I wasn't going to lie, it turned me on even more.

I obliged. Entering her, in and out. Faster and harder. Her body up against the wheel. Her legs attempting to wrap around me. Our eyes closed not being able to control the sensation.

Groans and moans flowing from our lips. A feeling I could only feel with Peyton running through my body.

We came closer and closer. Harder, faster and louder. I swear my car was shaking, but I couldn't care less.

At certain moment in time, we both flew off the edge.

I held her close, our sweaty foreheads leaning together, sad that it was over but happy that it had happened.

"We better get going. We're already late." I whispered tenderly, our eyes connecting.

"That's a good idea." Her eyes glossy, as she pulled herself off of me. Fixing her dress, and her hair in my mirror. As I pulled up my boxers and then my pants. Fixing my shirt in my side mirror, laughing as I wiped off the lipstick all over my face and neck.

Once we were both looking our best, we glanced at each other. With a quick smile, I opened my door, walked around the car, opening her door.

Placing my hand for her to take.

"Madame." I bowed with a proper English accent.

"Young sir." She obliged, taking my hand. I locked my doors behind us and we walked out of the parking lot to the prom, hand in hand, glancing back at my piece of shit car, never thinking that any car looked better before.

* * *

The music was blaring, the drinks were all around, the girls and guys hands and bodies all over each other on the dance floor. Everyone looked amazing and as I walked towards the dance floor with Lucas at my side, I was nervous as hell.

I was anxious to see people's reaction, I hadn't really been friends with anyone since I had moved away and after the abortion and the thing with Nathan.

Everyone loved Haley and they all assumed it was Nathan that had gotten me pregnant, but I never told them wrong. No one talked to me, a couple of my friends gave me a call now and then, but it was nothing like it was before Lucas.

Walking towards our table, I leaned into Lucas almost shouting because the music was so loud, "Do you want to get the drinks, while I find the table?"

He smiled, turning quickly and walking towards the punch.

I smiled after him, I couldn't get over how good he looked and the feeling of him being here with me tonight.

My body turned to the left, going in the direction of our table, when I bumped into someone else.

Before I could see who it was a familiar voice spoke,

"Well, well, well don't we looked fine tonight." Jake eyed me up and down, a devilish smirk planted on his greasy face.

"Go away Jake." I said clearly moving past him. His hand aggressively grabbed my arm, stopping me.

"How bout a dance?" He winked eyeing my body.

"Let go of me." I snapped, my body shaking, I felt his presence over take me.

"Or we could just go back to my place." He leaned in and whispered in my ear. I bit my lip, terrified.

"I think she said no." I heard a voice behind me state clearly. I look up and saw Lucas, with two drinks in his hand, staring directly at Jake.

Jake looked at Lucas, remembering who he was. His eyes widened, as he quickly turned and left.

"Thanks." I whispered, rubbing my arm from the mark he left.

"Let's find our seats." He yelled over the music leaning in and kissing the mark on my arm.

The rest of the night, consisted of awkward and uncomfortable stares from certain people as Lucas and I talked and flirted. My hand laid on his thigh as we talked and enjoyed the music. We drank quick a bit of wine, and the spiked punch, as I was starting to feel a little tispy.

I could tell that Lucas was a little drunk, as he drank three times as much as I did.

I watched as my fellow classmates dance around the room.

I saw as Bevin passed me by a really dirty look on her face, when she saw Lucas's hand on back. I always knew she didn't like me ever since the Nathan thing, but I wasn't it the mood to see her. I noticed that Lucas saw her evil stare. He took a big gulp of his drink, confirming that he was hammered out of his mind. He sat up from his slouch, fixing his tie yet again. He removed his hand from my back and stood up slowly.

"Where are you going?" I asked, but he didn't answer me, he swayed towards the dance floor tripping a little bit when he made it to the stage. I watched in confusion as he walked onto the stage.

The music stopped as he grabbed the mic. A nervousness came over me.

Everyone looked up at him.

"I... I. My name is Lucas, I'm here tonight with Peyton." He pointed in my direction as I looked away. What was he doing?

"I just want to tell everyone who keeps staring at us, that I don't know what your problemmm iss? But Peyton is great, I'm mean great girl." he winked. I covered my face, I couldn't believe he was doing this.

"And she doesn't deserve this. Sure she was pregnant and got with Nathan when he was with Haley, but we all make mistakes. So just continue with your night. And..." By the time I looked up, two guys were pulling him off the stage. A sigh of relief came at me. But before he was thrown off the stage, he grabbed the mic.

"By the way, I'm the guy who got her pregnant not Nathan." A couple of people gasped in the audience, as others just laughed, while most people starred in my direction.

I covered my face, as the people finally started to look away when the music started again.

Lucas came back to the table, another drink in hand. I glared angrily at him, his lips moving towards his cup as I pulled it away.

He looked at me confused, "Now, I know you had my best interest in my mind." I said calmly, trying to keep my cool. "But what the hell was that?" I screamed at him.

"I'm sorry." he stuttered, "I just couldn't stand the way everyone was staring at you like that, they needed their facts straight." He sat down back in his seat wobbling a bit.

"And you really think they are gonna stop staring after that?" I asked sarcasticly.

"I'm sorry." he whispered, placing his hand back on my back. "It sounded a lot better in my head."

I rolled my eyes, taking another sip of my drink. " I bet it did." Lucas shrugged his shoulders.

"Been in any hot tubs lately." I looked up and saw Brooke sitting down beside us. It took Lucas a moment before, he remembered who she was.

"Hey, You look really good." I smiled at her, because she really did. Her dress looked perfect on her and she had always been beautiful.

"You too." she smiled, looking over at Lucas.

"That was a great speech." She laughed looking at Lucas taking another drink.

I watched at Lucas unintentionally looked Brooke up and down. I smacked him in the arm. As Brooke pretended she didn't notice.

"Well, it was nice talking to you." She smiled getting up and walking to the dance floor.

"That hurt." Lucas whined, taking another sip of his drink. I took away his drink, as he whined away.

"I think you've had enough." I laughed.

"Awwww... well what else am I supposed to do?" He sulked, slouching back.

"How about we go dance?" I proposed.

"Sure." he shrugged his shoulders, standing up and waddling onto the dance floor.

By the time we finally found a space to dance, the music had changed to a slow song.

I turned into his body, as he wrapped his arm around me. Although I could smell the alcohol off his breath, it felt nice.

As the song continued, Lucas rubbed his hands up and down my arms, as he would sometimes kiss my neck. I wasn't a fond of public displays of affection, but I thought it was really sweet.

That was until he began to rub my breasts threw my dress, his thumbs reaching under my dress and touching them. I was about to tell his to stop, as I moved my hand from around his neck to his face. But I guess he thought I was trying to kiss him, so he went for it.

His forced his lips onto mine, as I tried to stop it. But I knew deep down, that I really wanted to kiss him, so I kissed him back. He moved his hands down my body and slowly under my dress, moving up my thighs. I removed my lips from him, as he began to kiss my neck. I noticed a few people glancing over at us.

"Come on, Lucas, stop." I whispered in his ear, as he kissed my collar bone, his hands moving up my thigh.

"Lucas. You need to stop!" I whined, moving to push him away.

His hand found their destination, as he rubbed his thumb against me. His lips nibbling on my neck. I was angered by his actions.

"Stop!" I screamed, pushing him off me. I fixed my dress, as he starred at me, confused, by me. By himself.

He rolled his eyes, as he turned to leave.

"I'm gonna go get another drink." He laughed being a complete asshole.

I followed after him, "No Lucas, you've had enough."

He laughed at me as he continued to walk towards the punch.

"Lucas, I'm serious." I grabbed his arm.

He pushed me off of him.

"You can't tell me what to do. I don't belong to you." He snapped.

"Lucas." I whispered trying to stop him.

"Fuck off." he screamed.

I couldn't believe the way he was acting, he had never treated me like this before.

I became very infuriated by his words, I reached for his jacket. Grabbing his car keys.

"Where are you going?" He snapped again, but this time a bit more softly.

"I'm leaving." I snapped back at him, as I watched a couple of guys, stare at us.

"But we have a room for the night." he said calm, his warm blue eyes confused.

"You've got to be crazy to think, that I'm going to stay here with you." I rolled my eyes at him, "You can find your own way home." I turned and left him.

Pissed off, I opened the car door, and slammed it, as I sat down. I went to lean back in the seat. But the seat was still back from when we had had sex. As I fell back into the seat, my eyes filled with tears. Crying like a baby I laid in the car. How had the best night of my life, turned into the worst?

_All that I keep thinking throughout this whole flight  
Is it could take my whole damn life to make this right._


	16. Apologize

**i haven't updated in awhile hope you still love me. and dont worry lots to come.**

**

* * *

****Chapter 15- Apologize**

_I'd take another chance, take a fall  
Take a shot for you  
And I need you like a heart needs a beat  
But it's nothing new _

Heat seeping in through the doors of the old piece of shit car was all that was keeping my body warm as I waited hours for Lucas to come and find me. But he never came. For what seemed like a lifetime I curled my legs in towards my body, praying that he would come out, apologize and kiss me the way he always did and then we could go back to hotel and make love. But as the hours passed, I had a feeling that wasn't going to happen.

After many inner arguments with myself that concluded with either a tear, or a shriek, I convinced that it was time for me to go back, and just forget it. Forget him, lieing to myself like I always did about this particular guy and the same situation.

The drive home was to be expected as I held back the tears, knowing that I would be for sure crying myself to sleep, like I had so many night before over the same guy.

Two days past, agonizing and arduous for my tore heart. Why hadn't he called? Why hadn't he tried to fix it? Though I was begging myself to just let it go, and move on. He didn't deserve me, or my time. Or even my heart, which he had from the start.

So I just let it go, getting on with my life, at least for another day.

* * *

It was three days after Friday night, one day before Peyton's graduation. I hadn't gone to work today, just couldn't do it. I couldn't leave my apartment, knowing that everything I did was usually a mistake, so I'd probably do that wrong.

As the days passed, I knew I had to talk to her but I still couldn't bring myself to go see her. I knew that was the coward way of doing it, but I had been a complete jerk for no apparent reason.

I lounging uncomfortably across my couch, feet hanging off the end, sweat pants on,chips in one hand, beer in the other, the whole deal. Some boring soap opera on my television, day time television was the worst. But it wasn't like I was even watching it.

I glimpsed in the mirror and I could really see myself going downhill, with everything I did.

I loud banging came at my door, startling me from my deep thoughts. I knew it was her. I took a deep breath, opening the door, preparing for the worst.

And there she was looking better than ever, in a cute mini shirt and a fitting blue shirt . Wasn't she supposed to be the wreck and I was supposed to be the normal one, but she was so much better at this stuff then I was, wearing the perfect outfit reminding me of what I could have had if I hadn't been a total jerkoff.

"Where the hell have you been?" She yelled shoving me into the house, her fury a surprise to me.

"What?" I said softly, my voice still weak since this had been the first time I had spoken a word in three days. I was leaning against the now closed door, trying to hide my sweat pants and chip stains. Terrified of her animal like presence.

She laughed sarcastically at me, when I didn't answer, pulling off her leather jacket, tossing it to the floor. Giving me a better view of the body I'd probably never be able to touch again.

I could tell she was about to do one of those, yell a million things at the top of your lungs fight, so I wasn't shocked when she raised her voice and began.

"Okay. One, you acted like a complete asshole, and embarrassed me in front of my classmates. Two, you felt me up on the dance floor, like a perv, I used to know. Three, you disrespected and yelled at me. And like an idiot I waited in the car for you to come back so we could go back to the hotel and make love." Her eyes were watery as she spoke, as her yelling turned into sulking goans.

I just starred at her, feeling the pain that I caused her, unsure of what I could do to make it all better.

"And then I waited, I waited for the last three days for you to come see me, because like an idiot I knew I would end up forgiving you. Because you can do whatever you want to me, and I'd still love you."

I had no idea what to say.

Here was the situation;

Me, up against the door, timid and shaking.

Her pacing back and forth, bothered and broken.

Neither of us ready to let go.

"I love you soo much. But I can't do this anymore." She was able to stop pacing as she whispered this to me, because she knew every word she spoke was breaking my heart.

"I can't be the girl that you fall back on, the girl that you just use and leave. I was that girl for Jake and you knew that. I thought you were different, you hated Jake. But you know what." She stopped, her eyes getting dark, forgetting her sympathy for me, and just hurting me the way she knew I deserved it

"You are just like him." She looked disgusted at me, pushing past me, grabbing her jacket.

Opening the door and leaving me.

The slam of the door was all that was needed for me to hear my heart to break totally in pieces.

A breath of cool air came over the room, as I stared bewilderedly up at the ceiling. My eyes slowly reverting to the television where there was a very common scene being played on the soap opera. The heroic man saving his damsel in distress, a kiss they had been waiting a lifetime for was finally a reality.

At that moment, through the cheesy soap opera episode I had a revelation. When I pictured running off into the sunset with my truth love. It was unsure where it was, when it was, but I knew for sure that the girl beside me was Peyton.

And I wasn't scared anymore.

I opened the door, getting ready to run and find her. I had to find her.

But as I stepped out of my apartment, I saw her leaning against the other side of the hall. She had been waiting for me.

She looked up at me, her eyes baring her broken heart.

"Peyton, I love you." I spoke truthfully, knowing that it wasn't enough. "You don't understand how sorry I am. I would give anything to take it back. And I know that this isn't enough. But I love you so much and I can't picture my life without you."

I stepped towards her, not wanting to get too close.

"You can't do this." She looked up, her eyes watery, knowing that she was falling for me, yet again.

"I fall for you every time and then you disappoint me." she snapped, not giving herself into the temptation.

"I know." I whispered, disappointed in myself.

"Then why do you keep doing this to me?" She sulked loudly, stepping towards me.

"Cause I'm a stupid son of a bitch. And you are meant for better." I almost laughed.

"I'm not." She placed her arms on my shoulders, her tears disappearing.

"Yes you are." I pushed her hands away, not wanting her sympathy.

"I'm not!" she almost screamed.

"Yes you are!" I snapped back at her, as a bodies were now getting closer.

She shoved me aggressively against the door, I waited for her to yell back at me. But instead she jumped on top of me, my arms instantly wrapping around her pulling her closer to me. My lips lurching for hers, sucking on her bottom lip, as she bit down on mine commanding me to touch her. My best judgement was telling me we were moving too fast, but that's what we did. We were never able to take things slow.

I moved my hand behind me, wiggling the handle, pushing the door wide open. Moving backwards into my apartment, her hands stroking threw my hair, her hips vibrating against my chest .I started pulling us towards the my bedroom knowing exactly what we were going to do, it always ended this way.

"No, stop." She whispered sexually in my ear, her hot breath causing me to slipe my right foot sideways almost tripping.

She smirked once I caught my balance as I stopped what I was doing and looked at her, giving her my full attention.

"I want you to take me here." she nibbled on my ear, her hand falling into my pants, touching me just the way I liked it.

I smirked at her words staying focussed on her face as her hands played with me, "On the table." she continued looking in the direction of the kitchen table.

"Are you serious?" I questioned my mouth widened, Kinky.

"Oh yeah baby." she bit her lip, I saw her hazel eyes look side to side, and I knew she was starting to rethink how fast we were moving back to normal. But it was quickly tossed to the side of her mind as she unwrapped her legs around me. I helped to down. She stood there, straight in front of me fixing her shirt and pulling down her skirt, a twinkle in her eyes.

I leaned in to kiss her but she leaned away.

"Wait" she placed her fingers over my lips, but I just kissed them instead, putting her finger between my lips

"I said wait." she stated with a dominating tone, pulling her finger away from me.

I listened, moving away from her. She was a girl with a mission, and if this mission involved sex on the kitchen table I was all for the bossy behaviour.

She pulled down her hair from her pony tail, it falling softly to her shoulders. She slid her hands deliberately down her body knowing my eyes followed. She unzipped her skirt, unbuttoning the buttons and dropping it softy to the floor. My eyes starring at her white thong. She smirked, as she pulled up her shirt over her head, revealing a white bra. My eyes widened at her body, that was begging me to touch it. She reached down and pulled down her thong as she unbuckled her bra. All her clothes lying on the floor beside her.

She stepped towards me, quirking an eyebrow.

"Oh, I get it. Now you want me to strip." I laughed, I knew her tricks oh so well.

"Not quite." Her words were raspy. She lifted her eyebrow, looking up and down my body. Her hands rubbing on the material through my shirt. My eyes closed unconsciously. She slowly pull up my shirt, throwing it to the floor. Her lips quickly on my nibble ring.

"You sure love that thing." I breathed trying to sound cool, but sounding jolty and powerless.

"Oh yeah." she mumbled as her teeth pulled the ring.

She moved away from my nipple, staring back up at me, her eyes so hazy and seductive. Her hands unzipping my pants, as she concentrated on my weakened face, being able to pull down my pants without looking.

My eyes slowly began to close as she simply removed my boxers.

"Look at me." she whispered, noticing I couldn't keep my eyes open. I dragged them open, my eyes concentrating on her.

Once my boxers were joined on the floor with the rest of our clothes, I was unable to resist the urge to take control.

I ran towards the kitchen table, pushing everything off of it. She giggled as she watched everything smash to the ground, including many papers from my office, which we quite important. But, what the hell.

I ran towards her, picking her up by her waist and wrapping her around my body. My tongue quickly down her throat, as she sucked on it, moaning quite loudly.

I dragged our bodies towards the wooden table. Laying her lightly onto the table, me falling on top of her. My hands caressing her breasts, making circular motions across her stomach, kissing all over her face, never able to get enough of her.

Her feet rubbing up my thighs, causing me to shiver momentarily.

"I want you inside of me." she whispered on my neck, leaving light kisses on my ear.

I instantly stopped what I was doing. Looking into her eyes searching her soul. I leaned forward pecking her lips lightly and eventually pulling away. Slowly hovering over top of her, ready to go.

She pulled me in with her dark gaze, her eyes closing as soon as I was inside of her. She instantly wrapped her legs around my waist, getting in what seemed to be our favourite position.

Her hands behind her head holding tightly on the table, her chin in my shoulder. My hands holding her hips, pushing harder inside of her, as my eyes yielded shut.

I went faster and faster as she kissed my shoulder, my hands leaving her hips and rubbing her stomach softly but the moment was soon ruined when I heard a loud cry come for Peyton. I immediately pulled myself out of her, and came to her attention.

"Peyton, what's wrong?" I asked concerned. I knew we had moved to fast.

"Nothing," she stuttered, "Just keep going." she wiped away a few tears.

"Not until to tell me what's wrong." I sat up on the table, knowing that this was probably serious.

She cried a little more before she began to talk, "It's just..." she stopped as her eyes surveyed my body.

I looked at her to continue, "It's just the baby." she whispered. "I can't take it back." She cried loudly and a guilt immediately came over me.

I went to talk but she interrupted me, "I can't do this.."

"Peyton, I'm sorry, and I know we never really talked about it. I'm sorry. I swear I will be here for you, I would have been there for you, to help you through the abortion. I'm sorry you had to do it alone." I rambled on, as I got up from the table and gathered our clothes.

"You would have made me have the abortion? " She cried, pushing my hands away when I tried to give her her clothes.

As I pulled on my boxers I stepped forward, "Peyton,"I tried to reason with her, "It was the right decision to make at the time."

"You said you wanted a family before?" She snapped instantly, her eyes got dark as she snatched her clothes out of my hands.

"You were sixteen!" I yelled clearly as I pulled my shirt over my head.

She didn't look at me, as she pulled on her clothes.

"What I'm not good enough to have your baby or something. Because the whole age thing didn't matter when we were getting it on." She glared at me immediately, a angry laugh escaped her lips.

"You know that's untrue Peyton, it did matter, but I couldn't help loving you. " I was attempting to calm her down, but it was failing.

She didn't respond, pulling on he clothes in such an angered matter.

"It's just we were so young. We didn't deserve." I was now facing her, my clothes back on.

"No, I didn't deserve." she screamed pulling up her skirt. "I was innocent and totally in love with you, but to you it was always about sex. Sometimes I wonder if the other stuff even matters to you."

The words falling from her lips were a sentiment from her I never expected.

"You enjoyed the pleasure of it, but there was just no responsibility from you, ever. You said you were going to take me to the doctors to get the day-after pill." as she snapped her words, it was obvious she had been holding in this anger all along, and I knew it wasn't all for me, she was anger with herself as well.

"You left me that morning, how was I suppose to help?" I knew I shouldn't have snapped back, but she was blaming all of this on me.

"You never called Lucas, not once in all those years. And I know Haley told you about the pregnancy, but I made her tell you it was just a scare. But you never came back. Never." tears were evident as she turned facing the wall, I didn't deserve to see her tears.

I didn't speak. I knew she was right, I had talked to Haley, she called one day, telling me that Peyton thought she was pregnant. Haley said she should wouldn't mention that she told me to Peyton. But I didn't go to see her. Haley later called and said it was all a scare. I never really thought much of it. Heck, it wasn't the first time I almost got a girl pregnant.

I was an asshole. I was just like every other guy. I hated those guys. And now I hurt the girl I loved.

"I love you." they were the only words that sounded right.

She glared at me one more time, chuckling harshly.

"You always seem to say this Lucas. But you never show it. I want you to prove to me that you love. Because all the words in the world will never make up from what you've done. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you will grow up and stop acting like a guy. And start acting like a man. Because frankly, those words don't bring me happiness anymore. Only pain" She moved towards me as she spoke, her eyes breaking me down. She gazed at me with disappointment one more time before stomping to the door.

"Peyton, please don't leave." I was able to whisper, standing all alone in the middle of my apartment.

"I love you Luke."Her voice was sharp and evil. She closed her lips together tightly,

"See, those words mean nothing, if I don't show it." She was able to whisper with no hesitation.

I didn't move as I watched her clutch onto the side of the door, I stood vulnerable, broken and cold as she slammed the door violently behind her.

And she was gone.

_You tell me that you need me  
Then you go and cut me down, but wait  
You tell me that you're sorry  
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say... _

It's too late to apologize.


	17. Lie Awake

**my many apologies for the wait. I'm sorry.. and well this chapter isn't the greatest and the longest. but it's kind of a set up for the rest of the chapters. **

**I hope you enjoy**

**

* * *

Chapter 16- Lie Awake **

_I lie awake and I can't seem to lift my head up  
All this weight has got me underneath your thumb  
And I'm not gunna hurt anymore  
I rely on you to lie to me some more_

Time slipped away slowly, much slower than I was hoping for, I could hardly go to work and face my office, without my mind eventually think of her. I missed her. Yet I had no idea how to make things better between us. I messed up, big time.

I found it somewhat impossible sitting here, my fingers on my laptop attempting to write my newest article, it was a sports article about some undefeated basketball team. But unlike usual I had no interest in it, I was only writing it because I wanted to get it out of the way so I could go back to my sulking about Peyton. But as I continued to type, my thoughts would easily go elsewhere, making it impossible for me to complete a full sentence within two minutes. It was pretty obvious that this was going to take a lot longer than I intended.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Sighing thankfully at the door, my pizza had arrived. I hopped up instantly taking any chance I had to get away from the dullest article I had ever written.

Besides, I was hungry. Pizza was all I ate now. I had no time for anything else, besides I was too busy sulking to cook. So Pizza was now my new best friend. Jalapeño peppers and bacon. That's what I always got, so that's what I ordered tonight after telling Kevin and Jason, that I wasn't in the mood for a night out.

They were starting to wonder what was up, since I had backed out on our Friday night routine, for almost the last month, ever since Peyton came back. I calmly explained that I had a big article due tomorrow and I would be there for sure next week. By then I would have a new and better excuse.

Grabbing the money by the sink, I slid towards the door. Bare feet, sweat pants and wife beater were dressed on me, but who really cared what I looked like lately. Looking down at my money, counting it to make sure I had enough, I opened the door.

Instead of the normal, 'That will be $10.50.' I heard nothing. Without thinking much of it, I finished counting money before I glanced to see it definitely wasn't the pizza guy.

It was Nathan.

We didn't speak, both of us giving each other that tough guy stare we gave last time we stood this way, opposite sides of the door.

"Can I help you?" I questioned, my hand falling to my side. I really wasn't in the mood for this, I knew he was here to yell at me. Probably about how I was treating Peyton, which I thought was fucking hilarious considering who he was.

He didn't respond , his blue eyes glaring at me and I willingly let him enter, knowing he would probably break down my door if I locked him out.  
I knew he was going to yell, but I thought we might as well get this over with.

I shut the door behind me, arrogantly turning and facing the guy I despised, without any time of warning. I felt a fist fly at my face.

Normally, I would react by punching him back and it would turn into a full on fist fight in my apartment.

But I didn't respond, I just stared at him, wiping my lip in which was bleeding. His eyes were in shock that I hadn't punch him back. So were mine.

"What do you want man? Because I know I messed up with Peyton and there is nothing you can do or say that is going to make me feel worse." My words were honest as I cringed from the pain of my throbbing lip.

"I'm pissed off. I don't understand why you are doing this to her. Don't you think she is been through enough." His eyes for the first time ever showed me how much he cared for her.

"You mean all you put her through." I knew that was a cheap shot.

"I know that. But you were always there to make it all better, but now you are doing exactly what I did and she doesn't deserve that. She loves you." His voice finished weak, a new reality hit me. So obvious that I couldn't believe I never thought of it before.

"You love her." His eyes were just as shocked as my voice. He looked away, sitting down at my table trying to lie.

He finally spoke, "I love Haley."

"But you love Peyton too." He didn't answer as he fumbled with his thumbs, we both knew the truth. I went to my fridge grabbing two beers, knowing we were going to need them.

"Why are you here then? Go be with her. She deserves better than me." I spoke.

"She does deserve better. And I would love to be with her. But then there is Haley. And you." He drank back his beer that he opened quickly.

I took a slow sip of mine.

"I love Haley with all my heart, but I can't leave Peyton without knowing she is okay." His beer was now gone.

"And besides Peyton loves you. She could never love me, or anyone else for that matter."

When he finished speaking, I chugged back my beer. Feeling like an idiot for ruining things with Peyton.

"I tried loving her before Haley and I got back together, after she had her abortion. But she couldn't love me back. Every time I would say I love you to her, she would tense up and I would look in her eyes and see nothing but you." His voice was weak, as I passed him another beer, starting to feel bad for the guy that I despised.

"But I've come to terms with it. I love Haley and I don't want to be with Peyton. Sure I will always love her, but mainly I just want to see her happy." Nathan stood up, grabbing his beer.

I wasn't expecting him to leave just then, I assumed this talk would be a long one.

"Just treat her right, make her happy." He whispered taking a big gulp of his beer, opening the door to leave.

"If you don't. Expect more punches to the face." he voice was blunt, but I couldn't help but laugh at it, as he shut the door.

Leaving me somewhat optimistic.

I grabbed another beer, before running for the phone , dialing a familiar number.

A wicked smile across my face.

* * *

I felt another tear fall, it had somehow been impossible to hold them back. Especially at graduation, my dad hadn't shown up and I was all alone. Brooke didn't even talk to me which surprised me because we were starting to get along. The thing that surprised me the most was when I overheard her taking about me. 

"Where is her guy, you know the father of the abortioned baby?" I overheard Bevin grunt and instantly knew they were talking about me.

"He probably dumped her, he wasn't even that into her. He totally checked me out at the prom." Brooke smiled back her friends who laughed loudly.

"It's no surprise. I'm wondering how she could have got a guy like the in the first place. I mean he was fine." Bevin smirked.

"He probably knocked her up when he was drunk. I mean that has to be the only explaination." I heard one of their friends laugh.

I didn't want them to see me as I felt tears form, but as I stormed away I knew that Brooke had seen me.

She passed me by later with a sympathic look, but didn't dare talk to me.

Later, Nathan showed up, finding me crying in the washroom. He asked me where Lucas was, making tears come to my eyes even more. I told him what happened, knowing that he would probably go confront Lucas, punching him and such. But Lucas deserved it. Hell I was angry as hell now, I would punch him myself.

Nathan took me home and hadn't left my side until earlier today. I told I was fine and I had to get back to my normal life, preparing for university. But I had the whole summer to waste. I knew it was going to be a long one.

I tried going out for a run a few hours ago, but it didn't last long and soon I was back here. Trying to find anything to do to preoccupy myself.

But again I found myself on my bed crying. The tears wouldn't stop.

I heard my door open and I knew it was Nathan. He was the only one in my life now.

I continued crying, not being able to stop. He was used to this by now.

"Can I come in?" I soft and whispering voice was all I heard at the door frame of mybedroom. But it wasn't Nathan. It was someone I hadn't seen in forever. Someone I couldn't believe had the nerve to even come here.

"How are you?" Haley questioned awkwardly as I attempted to act as though I hadn't been crying at all.

"Why are you here?" My voice ended up sounding rude and resentful. I placed my hands on my bed, pulling myself up so I could face her.

"I wanted to say sorry."

I laughed at her, after almost two years of acting like I didn't exist, she wanted to say sorry.

"But mostly I'm here for Lucas." The sound of his name was like poison to be. But it was also like heaven. Some sort of bittersweet oxymoron.

"And..." I wasn't in the mood for this, and she knew that.

"We have a surprise for you, but you need to come with me." Her voice was a lot more perky, like the Haley I used to know, but like I was just going to go with her to see Lucas. Was she actually that stupid.

"Okayyy." I laughed removing myself from my bed, a moving past her down the hall. She chased after me.

"I know your angry right now." she started, but thats when I blew.

"No. No you don't know how angry I am right now. You have no idea. You left me Haley. Right when I needed you. And I understand what I did with Nathan was wrong, but you lead me right into his arms. I needed a friend throughout this whole thing with the abortion, my father leaving me and mostly I needed you to help me with Lucas."

"I tried to help, I called him to come back."

"Don't you dare, You did that when you thought it was Nathan's and you only did it to hurt me and him. So, don't you dare." I glared and she knew I was right.

"I'm sorry." she whispered. "I was just so hurt."

"I didn't mean to hurt you." I whispered back at her, both of us now stopped directly in the middle of the hall.

"I know." she pulled me in a hug. A hug in which I was missed horribly. Tears filled both our eyes.

"I missed this." She referred to our hug as we both tried to hold back the tears.

"Me too."

We stood there for a couple minutes, remembering what it was like those years ago. Instantly at that moment I forgave her. Who knew it could be that easy, but it was. I forgave her.

She then pulled away, wiping away her tears.

"Come with me. Please." Her voice was steady, and I knew that she had good intentions.

"Fine." I groaned loudly, moving slowly away from her.

"Pack a bag." her head nodded in the direction of my room.

"What?"

"You didn't actually think this was a one day thing did you?" She laughed, turning towards the other way of the hall.

"Be ready in an hour." She stated before leaving out the door, a sly smile across her innocent face.

Packing was difficult since I had no idea, where I was going, for how long and why. I knew Lucas would be there, so I packed a couple less than conservative outfits, hitting myself a few times for being so stupid. I took them out of my bag, but before my suitcase was closed I put them back in.

I waited for about 20 minutes, packing and unpacking my stuff, changing my mind about going almost a hundred times. But each time I ended up waiting on my couch with my bag beside me, and a peculiar smile across my face.

The door bell rang almost 2 minutes after I decided that I was going for sure. I almost ran to the door, excited to see Haley. Even with all we had gone through the thought of us trying to go back to the way we were couldn't help but back me all happy and warm inside.

The door was opened quickly as a grin grew on my somewhat lonely face. It faded quickly.

Lucas.

His eyes lit when my smile was visible, but as it faded, so did the light.

"I thought Haley was coming." The first words we had spoken in a few days, not what I wanted them to be. Definitely not what he wanted them to be, by the expression on his face.

"I thought I'd pick you up." He mumbled gently under his breath, as we stood as far away as possible from each other without making it too obvious.

I tried to smile at him, but it was too hard. It also didn't help that he looked great, his hair sitting on his head in the most perfect way. His beard that he had been growing was now shaved off, reminding me of the Lucas I knew two years ago. His blue shirt, only made his torturous blue eyes even bluer. He looked simple, just the way I liked him.

I didn't respond to him.

"I'm glad you're coming." He mumbled again.

I wanted to say me too, but I was unable to.

"Yeah." Were the words I said instead. The tension was starting to make us both uncomfortable as he began swaying his body back and fourth, his hands in his pockets.

My fingers instantly went to my mouth where I bit my nails.

"Well, you ready to go?" He questioned after what seemed like a lifetime.

"Yeah I am." I was able to smile, gesturing to my bag.

He stepped passed me, as a jumped back a little thinking he was coming at me. He went and picked up my bag.

"What do you have in here?" He laughed having trouble lifting my 20 pound bag.

"Hey, I had to bring everything. I have no idea where I'm going and for how long." I smirked back at him.

He wobbled towards me the bag in his hands.

"Hope you're wearing comfy clothes." He said loudly, passing me and out the door.

"Why?" I closed and locked the door behind us, silently saying good bye to my apartment.

"Because we have a long drive in for us." He smirked, his blue eyes shooting at me.

"How long?" I groaned, maybe I shouldn't of choose to wear this mini skirt.

"Long." He grinned seductively gazing his soft eyes up and down my legs.

His gaze was a little shocking to me. It was a little too bit forward but you could have never of guessed that with the instant blush and giggle that was presented from me too him.

He smirked wider before turning and walking towards his car. Leaving me plentyof time for regretting my actions. I instinctively pushed down my skirt a little before walking after him.

This was going to be an interesting drive.

_I've bitten off more than I care to ever chew  
I'm losing myself.  
I am too wrapped up in you_


	18. Apart

**okay after weeks of waiting and thank you for not giving up, here it is. i hope u enjoy.. and trust me lots more to come.. and ill try to get it up soon...ish. lol**

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Chapter 17- Apart**

_How did we get this far apart?  
We used to be so close together  
How did we get this far apart?  
I thought this love would last forever_

Glancing back and fourth from Lucas and back out the window. I just couldn't understand how we ended up this way. Once childhood friends, then forbidden lovers and now broken souls. We were meant to be, but sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. But I had hope, just a little, but enough to know it was there.

"This doesn't mean I forgive you. You know?" I admonition to clarify that this trip wasn't about me forgiving him, it was about him trying to make things better.

"I know, but you will." His wistful eyes shifted from the road to my amorous gaze, a cocky smirk obvious.

I snickered at his comment turning my head to face him even more.

"A little cocky." I cackled, adjusting my quite annoying skirt.

"I wish." He faltered after a moment, showing me that he was just as nervous about this as I was.

His vulnerability was visible, both of us clearly able to see it. Both of us not wanting to.

"But with the week I have planned. It's highly impossible that you won't forgive me." He adjusted his confidence, scared that I had seen how vulnerable he truly was.

"Aahhh... so I have some sort of time reference now. I know it's a week." I couldn't help but be amused at how little I knew about where I was going, but I trusted him. Sadly, I always would.

"Any other hints?" My finger under my chin as I squeaked at him.

"I'm just sticking to the road, detective" He raised both of his eyebrows, turning his attention back at the roadGlancing back and fourth from Lucas and back out the window. I just couldn't understand how we ended up this way. Once childhood friends, then forbidden lovers and now broken souls. We were meant to be, but sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. But I had hope, just a little, but enough to know it was there."This doesn't mean I forgive you. You know?" I admonition to clarify that this trip wasn't about me forgiving him, it was about him trying to make things better."I know, but you will." His wistful eyes shifted from the road to my amorous gaze, a cocky smirk obvious.I snickered at his comment turning my head to face him even more."A little cocky." I cackled, adjusting my quite annoying skirt."I wish." He faltered after a moment, showing me that he was just as nervous about this as I was.His vulnerability was visible, both of us clearly able to see it. Both of us not wanting to."But with the week I have planned. It's highly impossible that you won't forgive me." He adjusted his confidence, scared that I had seen how vulnerable he truly was."Aahhh... so I have some sort of time reference now. I know it's a week." I couldn't help but be amused at how little I knew about where I was going, but I trusted him. Sadly, I always would."Any other hints?" My finger under my chin as I squeaked at him."I'm just sticking to the road, detective" He raised both of his eyebrows, turning his attention back at the road.

* * *

The drive was long and unsurprisingly awkward, unsure if how I should talk to her. If I should even talk. If she should talk. I wanted nothing more than us to be together and move on from this little rough patch. But I had made too many mistakes for that to happen yet.

I was hoping by the end of the week she would forgive me and we could be together for real now, because driving here with her beside me in that little mini skirt was more than I could handle.

She had the most long, firm and smooth legs I had ever seen on any girl before. And I'd seen a lot of legs.

Hormones.

Like her mind knew what I was thinking she spoke. "Hey do you think we could stop for a minute? I really can't drive another hour in this skirt. It's so uncomfortable." She whined pushing down her skirt in an aggravated manner.

"Uh... I would Peyton. But we just got on the highway. And there aren't any turn offs for awhile now." I wished there was, because that skirt was driving me crazy.

"Oh." She stopped looking back at her bag and then back at me, a plan burring in her mind.

"You do mind if I just change here?" I thought it was funny that she asked, but I was impressed that she did, she usually just took off her clothes for me without any consent, not that I minded it but this situation was a tad different and I knew she wasn't going to be doing that again.

I wanted so badly to yes. Yes I minded. I could barely sit here with her in the skirt, but now she was going to change out of it right beside.

Yes, I minded.

Yes. fk Yes. God Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

"No." I answered quickly, my eyes never leaving the road, my breath catching in my throat.

She didn't respond, but I knew she was going for it, when she undid her seat beat. Reaching back into the backseat, her body coming awfully close to me. Too close.

"Grrr.. I can't reach it." She grunted after a few minutes of her up so close to me. She then began pushing herself further into the back seat, her body moving closer and closer to me. Until I could barely handle it.

I tried to not look, but I just couldn't. Her body was pushed back just enough for me to get a glimpse of her blue panties under her skirt.

Great, this is just perfect.

She finally got her pants after a minute of my eyes reverting back and forth from the road to her.

"Gahhh." she sighed almost out of breath, smiling back at me. Having no idea the torture she had just bestowed upon me. Was she stupid, could she not remember the history we had, she had to have known what she was doing to me.

But maybe she was just trying to torture me.

I tried to laugh, but it came out more like snort, I looked away awkwardly. I couldn't believe I just did that. My eyes staying put on the road.

"You okay?" she whispered, my eyes reverting over at her to tell her that I was fine, but of course it was the perfect time again.

Yup, she was changing. Right when I looked over at her, had to be the time she decided to unzip her skirt, and pull it down a little, she didn't see me staring.

I looked away extremely quickly. "Yeah I'm fine. Just a little.." my eyes looked back at her, she was now in her blue panties, unaware that I was looking.

"Tired." I finished quickly enough for her not to suspect anything, at least hoping she didn't.

I kept looking over at her. Unable to stop.

Stop. Stop. Fucking Stop.

My brain was yelling at me to just stop, but I couldn't.

I looked back over again, my eyes quickly deceiving me when she pulled her chest up in a natural manner, pulling her jeans on properly.

But every moment of her movements only made my thoughts wilder, thoughts of her up against me. Thoughts of her naked before me. Thoughts of her, licking, touching, kissing, biting and eating every part of me. Thoughts of her under me, as I...God, I was a dirty, dirty man.

"Oh thank god." she groaned, pulling me out of my haze, throwing her skirt into the back seat, throwing her feet up on the dashboard comfortably.

I smiled lightly, my eyes now staying straight on the road, until I felt something weird. Something just felt odd. Out of place in an extreme way.

My eyes searched the car, looking for anything. I was almost done my search, concluding that nothing was wrong. When I saw it. The one thing I knew was the worst possible thing to happen at this moment.

I had a boner, plain and simple. Peyton's actions had caused me to get a boner.

I didn't want to make a scene, hoping that she wouldn't notice. But my instincts took over.

"Oh god." I mumbled, instantly trying to pull the car over not finding any luck.

"What are you doing?" Peyton questioned at my sudden actions, but it didn't take long for her to notice, my eyes catching her reaction.

"Oh god Lucas, are you serious?" She rolled her eyes in disgust, looking away not wanting to see it.

I finally found a spot to pull over, urgently cutting a couple cars off.

"What are you doing?" she asked yet again, never looking back at me.

"Pulling over, what does it look like?" I snapped back, slipping the car into a stop.

"Just keeping going Lucas, it's no big deal." she whispered.

"I can't be in here right now." I whispered back, putting the car in park. Opening the door right away, my pants still tight and sore, throbbing in want. Stepping out of the car and onto the side road, trying to hide myself from the oncoming cars. I stood beside the door, unsure of what to do.

I listned as Peyton open the door, not pulling herself fully out of the door, her head facing me.

"Can we go?" she muttered rudely, her lips tight in anger.

"I can't Peyton, it's still there." I tried to say as nicely and calmly as possible not wanting to make the anger she had for me worse.

"Just suck it up and forget about. Huh?" she snorted more rudely than before.

"Forget about what?" I snapped back her now, not anger with her, but just completely embarrassed.

"Forget about what's got you all hot and bothered. Like come on, all I did was fucking change out my skirt and you couldn't keep it in your pants." She yelled slamming the door, walking around the side of car, not wanting to make a scene.

"I'm sorry." the only thing I could say at that point, they only thing that didn't make me a complete idiot.

"Don't say your sorry, just stop it, make it go away and let's go. This is just getting me even angrier with you." She stepped close to me, her eyes making it obvious that this trip was only making things worse.

"Do you think I wanted this Peyton? I'm trying to make things better between us, but you had to fucking put her $$ in my face." I yelled back her, still keeping myself distanced from her.

"Are you fucking kidding? I was changing Lucas." She stepped towards me, my pants getting tighter. "I thought we were adults now, but you're such a fucking horny school boy. If you didn't want me to change then you should have said no. It's that simple." Her voice was loud and raspy, as she moved closer and closer to me.  
I didn't answer.

"Don't you dare look at me with that smug, son of bch.."

"Oh god, stop Peyt. Stop." I interrupted, motioning for her to stop coming towards me, as I felt my pants getting tighter and tighter.

"fk, Luke." She snapped, almost laughing at the simplest effect she had on me.

I was completely mortified with what was happening, how could something as little as her yelling at me make me hard.

She rolled her eyes once again, leaning up against the car now.

"Just put it in me." she said obnoxiously, confusing me totally.

"Huh?" my eyes raised from the ground to her.  
"Just put it inside me." she whispered this time pointing at my boner.

My eyes widened at her words, my pants tightening yet again at the thoughts.

"Peyt don't be a bch." I snapped, my eyes giving her a disgusted look, now she was just being mean.

"I'm not kidding." She stated calmly, but my eyes still squinted at her. "It's the only way to make it go away. It's not just gonna disappear, and I don't want to be here forever." My eyes stopped squinting and opened widely. "So just get it over with."

I knew she was angry. I watched her unzip her pants and open the car down, leaning down on the seat. Pulling her pants down past her knees, waiting for me to pull them all the way off.

My thoughts quickly reverted to the thoughts of actually going through with it.

But I couldn't.

"Peyton. I'm not doing that." I quickly moved my hands to her pants, pulling them back up and zipping them up.

She almost smiled back up at me, but held it back as the anger arose yet again.

"Fine." She stood up and pushed me, turning me around and pushing me down to sit awkwardly on the seat with the door open. Half my body in the car and the other half outside.

My eyes searching hers for some sort of answer from her.

Her hand hastily grabbing at my hard spot, her other hand unbuttoning my pants.  
The breath that was once escaping my lips had disappeared and the eyes that once watched Peyton had closed.

My hands were grasping tightly on the wheel and the seat.

Her hands were not loving and gentle once her hands had hit my skin. My boxers and pants at the ground. The door was open, giving us at least some sort of privacy from the cars.

Her hands continued moving back and fourth.

"I'm soo sorry, Peyt. God I'm sorry." I stuttered out, my eyes still closed.

Her hands moved faster, it taking longer to happen than we both wanted, my head throwing backwards.

"I..I didn't want this to happen. I wanted to make everything better between us. Because I love you soo fucking much that it hurts." I choked out.

"God, I love you. I'm so sorry, you don't deserve this." I managed to open my eyes, to see hers staring back at me, a little bit less angry than before.

"You're beautiful, honest, smart, compassionate, sweet, loving." I stopped for a moment, when I saw her lips take the place of her hands, but it wasn't rough or anger, it was loving. "Sexy, undeniable, kind, delicate, tough, elegant." I continued as she moved her lips up and down, my eyes closing again.

"Did I mention beautiful?" I opened my eyes, to see hers meeting mine yet again, her hazel eyes so innocent and vulnerable, as she licked all around me.

"Mmm... and oh so good at this!" I almost laughed, as she continued, getting me closer and closer.

I felt her smiled against me, but she quickly hid it.

"This doesn't mean I forgive you. You know?" she whispered removing her lips from me for only a moment, then moving back over me for only a moment as I exploded all over her.

Her reaction was unexpected and somewhat confirming that I had made everything worse taking her on this trip.

She violently and hatefully spit out every bit of me, not wanting any further reminder of what she had just done for me.

She stood up, wiping her lips even more, spitting every once and awhile. Her eyes looking down condescendingly at me, "Put you're clothes on."

I did what I was told as fast as I possibly could as she waited for me now in the passenger seat.

Once my pants were on and everything seemed a bit more normal, I started the car. Neither of us able to even glance at the other.

"Take me home." she whispered when I began to drive.

"But, Peyt..." I whined, understanding her reasons but not wanting her to leave.

"Just take me home Luke." She stuttered out and I knew she was crying.

I reversed the car, as I was fighting to keep back tears.

_He waits for her to understand but she won't understand at all.  
She waits all night for him to call but we won't call.  
He waits to hear her say  
Forgive  
But she just drops her pearl-black eyes_

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**comment please.**


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